VERMONT HUM - Top 10 Vermont blog since 2006, according to the FBA

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 08, 2011

2011-11-08T09:44:00.000-05:00

VERMONT HUM WINS PRIZE FOR 'GLOVE IN LEAVES' PIC

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 01, 2011

2011-11-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

Hi, we're back. Thanks for hanging in there. We were on assignment in Mongolia, studying the mating habits of the double-billed lemur. Now let us proceed.

WATERBURY WATER PARK CONSIDERED

Gov and chums looking for ways to use state land in Waterbury, the parcels of which are located on a flood plain. One idea floated around is turning the sector into a water park and amusement center. As long as the area is going to get soaked anyway, let's throw in some waterslides, bouncy pools and other fun water-y things, charge 50 bucks a pop, just like Six Flags. Bang! Crisis over.

SPEAR STREET OBNOXIOUS HOME OWNER OFFERS 1 BILLION FOR CITY OF BURLINGTON

Citing Burlington's financial woes, a Spear Street Obnoxious Home Owner has offered to buy the city for 1 billion dollars, with the stipulation that South Burlington be thrown in for free. City officials declined to comment.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Almost went CUCKOO at the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday. The wait at the intersection was very long, forcing me to endure approximately 26 Perrywinkle Jewelers commercials as I radio surfed.
I am now considering satellite.

MAY SOMETHING, 2011

2011-05-28T23:22:00.000-04:00

ON BASEPATHS, NOBODY NEATER THAN JETER

After a swipe in Seattle, Derek Jeter is now the all-time Yankees base stealer.

POLISH MAN WAKES AFTER 19 YEARS IN A COMA
What's the big deal? That happens all the time at the Essex Junction Five Corners light!

HIGH GAS PRICES
Hmmm. Wonder how much gas is being idled away at the Essex Junction Five Corners each day? Is there an engineer in the audience?

ST. MIKE'S GRADUATION - Shoot. You mean another crop of rich, spoiled out-of-state babies are leaving? That's too bad.

THUNDER ROAD IN BARRE STARTING UP AGAIN - Merchants are excited about the possibilities the local racing season brings.
Beer sales up. Tattoo sales up. Cigarette sales up. Ammo sales up. Tank top sales up. Beef jerky sales up. Cigarette sales up some more. Hard cider sales up. Bow and arrow sales up. Ashtray sales up. Prewrapped grinder sales up. Ammo sales up again. And so on.

MONDAY, MAY 16, 2011

2011-05-16T11:50:00.002-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Gardening day at the Essex Junction Five Corners light today. I put the car in park, got out, ran to Depot Home and Garden and purchased some sunflower seeds. Got back to the intersection and planted them on a grassy strip near the Quik Mart. Me and my fellow idlers were able to watch the sunflowers grow to about six feet before the light changed! It was a beautiful experience.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2011

2011-04-19T19:17:00.000-04:00

------BREAKING NEWS-------

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER FOUND AWAKE

In a stunning development, an air traffic controller at a Miami airport was found awake on the job, prompting officials to exclaim, "See, things ain't so bad."
When asked why he was awake in the control tower, the worker said, "Geez, I had so much sleep the night before, I couldn't sleep tonight!"

BURLINGTON TELECOM SUES ENTERGY

In a bizarre move, BT has decided to sue Entergy for, you guessed it, 17 million smackers. When asked by Senior Vermont Hum Burlington Politics reporter Amstel Tibbetts why they chose the litigation route, an unnamed BT official said, "Because they're assholes, and we need the money."
We'll have more on this story as it breaks.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

The light at the Essex Junction Five Corners took so long to change this morning, I was able to get out, borrow a hose from Bushey's service station, come back and wash, wax and detail the car. Just as it dried, the light finally went green.
Gosh, I'm so productive at the five corners, I wish the light would never change!

APRIL 12, 2011

2011-04-12T18:49:00.001-04:00

FREE STUFF AT SMALL DOG ELECTRONICS

If you want complimentary electronic gear at Small Dog Electronics, just wait until the middle of the night, drive to the store, break in and fill your bags.
That seems to be the way to go these days for the burglar set. Every time we turn around, SDE is getting ripped off again. The latest was in March when the robbers hit the Waitsfield shop.

We've got a suggestion. Remember those jungle nets from the old films where bad guys would be walking through the forest and suddenly - Whoosh - they're entangled high above ground, helpless as babies. Wouldn't that be cool if the alarms went off at Small Dog Free Electronics, cops came and the bandits were swingin' in the nets. Just a thought.

Guess we weren't the only ones incredulous about the multiple break-ins.
Here are thoughts/comments about SDE from the WPTZ.com website.

The following are comments from our users. This is not content created by WPTZ.com.
By posting your comments you agree to accept the Terms of Use
kevinlendway [Profile]
Member
Mar. 22, 2011 6:39pm EST
kevinlendway
Inappropriate
He's looking for the insurance money again. Sounds like a lot of people in my congregation, looking for a handout until the new system comes
champlainboater [Profile]
Member
Mar. 22, 2011 6:04pm EST
champlainboater
Inappropriate
The police must be begging this guy to get some adequate type of security system. I propose motion detectors with pop up machine guns, sure you might have to mop up a little afterwards but it will never happen again!!
Jurgis [Profile]
Member
Mar. 22, 2011 12:41pm EST
Jurgis
Inappropriate
no i think he'd like to get robbed once more before he finally does something real. maybe twice.....
HoiPolloi [Profile]
Member
Mar. 22, 2011 12:18pm EST
HoiPolloi
Inappropriate
when is this loser, don mayer, going to wake up & smell the apple-flavored coffee!?! any dog, disregardless of size, is more intelligent than this ultra-maroon...
rlc5551 [Profile]
Member
Mar. 22, 2011 6:04am EST
rlc5551
Inappropriate
Time to get 2 great big junk yard dogs to watch the store.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6, 2011

2011-04-06T15:01:00.001-04:00

TURNAU STUMBLES WHEN ASKED ABOUT VPR SALARIES

When VPR prez Robin Turnau was asked by the great Steve Zinn, " What percentage do salaries comprise the VPR budget?", she thought for a moment, (which is funny, 'cuz she's the top dog and you know she knows the budget inside and out) and answered, (paraphrased) "Oh, 35 to 40 percent, maybe more."
Maybe more? Huh? You don't know?
Vermont Hum tried to e-mail the show to ask about excessive management salaries but of course was not mentioned.

MONDAY, APRIL 4, 2011

2011-04-04T09:38:00.002-04:00

CLORIS LEACHMAN BUYS BURLINGTON TELECOM

No, wait! Cloris Leachman was in the area for a one woman show. Shay Totten and Seven Days bought Burlington Telecom. No, wait! Lockheed Martin bought Burlington Telecom.

Click here to read the great gotcha story from Blurt.

Not everyone lives near water.

SWEET-TOOTHED THIEVES SWIPE SYRUP
A sugarhouse in Enosburgh had maple syrup stolen but the bandits reportedly did not take the pickles, doughnuts, or wooden sugar on snow spoons. Read the Boston Herald report here.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE - Essential Collection
Long wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning. I had time to get out of the car, walk over to the senior center, play a couple games of cribbage with the ladies before I had to back to the idling. It was a good break.

MARCH 24, 2011

2011-03-24T11:31:00.001-04:00

IDIOT BRINGS BOOZE TO DWI HEARING

Everywhere this dude goes, it's a party - even at the courthouse.

Not only was this guy swigging from an open container of Busch, he brought a few more in a bag - and he was over an hour late.

See a pic and read the tale here.

SELF-SERVE AT REAGAN NATIONAL

Was the snoozing air traffic controller dreaming of Ronald Reagan taking on the air controllers union?
See the latest from Time here.

SATURDAY, MARCH 12

2011-03-11T23:35:00.002-05:00

NOSTRADAMUS PREDICTED ENTERGY LA/VERMONT YANKEE WOULD CONTINUE AFTER 2012

We bet Nosty will predict correctly. Here's what will most likely happen.

1. Nuclear Regulatory Commission will give thumbs up to E-LA/VY, 'cuz that's what they do with nuke plants ready for relicensure - 63 times in a row, to be exact.
2. The feds will then step out of the way, letting Peter (Shumdog Millionaire) Shumlin, the Vermont Legislature, and E-LA duke it out, probably in court.
Even if Vermont wins litigation, it will have taken years and during that time E-LA will have produced and sold mucho power, because they have the license, willing purchasers, and millions of bucks for more than one appeal. One official even predicts that the legal process will take up to half of time of the renewed license period.
If Vermont loses, there's an appeal, and E-LA cruises to victory, making good revenue and avoiding protesters, living in LA. Louisiana, that is.
3. Shumdog Millionaire comes out of this smelling sweet, for he fought the good fight, energizing the base, against Entergy Louisiana, probably knowing how it would play out.

WAS SHUMDOG MILLIONAIRE IN DOMINICA WITH...CHARLIE SHEEN!

When the press asked certain members of Peter Shumlin's inner ring where he was, and received an answer equivalent to "beats me", you knew all heck was going to break loose. Public relations blunder 101 is a learning opportunity for the new crew, but what fun it's been for the past couple of days, especially for the Repubs, who were handed fodder on a silver platter, eager to consume ravenously.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
How can one be productive while waiting for the Essex Junction Five Corners light to change? Why, just yesterday I was able to listen to the entire Rice - CVU girls hoop game on the radio while idling at the intersection, complete with tailgate party. The light changed just as Rice was celebrating their win. It was perfect timing.
Ain't it great that Rice wins the title with a girl on the team named...yeah, Rice. The Little Indians, er, Green Knights, had a wonderfully balanced attack; they could shoot, control the ball, run, and rebound. Wow.

2011-03-01T18:45:00.001-05:00

CASEY HILL HOOLIGANS 2011
Celia, Mary and Holly

FEB SOMETHING, 2011

2011-02-17T15:59:00.002-05:00

"Loud are the thunder drums in the tents of the mountains.
Oh, long, long
Have we eaten chia seeds
and dried deer's flesh of the summer killing.
We are tired of our huts
and the smoky smell of our clothing.

We are sick with the desire for the sun
And the grass on the mountain."
- Paiute Late Winter Song

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 26, 2011

2011-01-26T10:35:00.000-05:00

DR. HSIAO NEARING SAINTHOOD

Well received presentation from Dr. Hsaio outlining Vermont's options for health care. To get a glimpse of the future, one would be well served to study Taiwan's program, of which Hsaio was an integral part of. Here's a quick, easy primer from Wiki.

Healthcare in Taiwan

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Healthcare in Taiwan is administrated by the Department of Health of the Executive Yuan. As with other developed economies, Taiwanese people are well-nourished but face such health problems as chronic obesity and heart disease.^[1] In 2002 Taiwan had nearly 1.6 physicians and 5.9 hospital beds per 1,000 population.^[1] In 2002, there were a total 36 hospitals and 2,601 clinics in the country. Per capita health expenditures totaled US$752 in 2000.^[1] Health expenditures constituted 5.8 percent of the gross domestic product (GDP) in 2001 (or US$951 in 2009^[2]); 64.9 percent of the expenditures were from public funds.^[1] Overall life expectancy in 2009 was 78 years.^[3]
Recent major health issues include the SARS crisis in 2003, though the island was later declared safe by the World Health Organization (WHO).^[1]
The current health care system in Taiwan, known as National Health Insurance (NHI), was instituted in 1995. NHI is a single-payer compulsory social insurance plan which centralizes the disbursement of health-care funds. The system promises equal access to health care for all citizens, and the population coverage had reached 99% by the end of 2004.^[4] NHI is mainly financed through premiums, which are based on the payroll tax, and is supplemented with out-of-pocket payments and direct government funding. In the initial stage, fee-for-service predominated for both public and private providers. Most health providers operate in the private sector and form a competitive market on the health delivery side. However, many health care providers took advantage of the system by offering unnecessary services to a larger number of patients and then billing the government. In the face of increasing loss and the need for cost containment , NHI changed the payment system from fee-for-service to a global budget, a kind of prospective payment system, in 2002.

[hide]

[edit] Health care reform

Taiwan started its health reform in the 1980s after experiencing two decades of economic growth.^[5] In 1987, the government did away with the martial law which mobilized the governmental departments. The government set up a planning commission and looked abroad to study other countries’ health care systems. Taiwan looked at more than ten countries and combined their best qualities to form their own unique system. In 1995, Taiwan formed the National Health Insurance (NHI) model. In a 2009 interview, Dr. Michael Chen, Vice President and CFO of Taiwan's National Health Insurance Bureau explained that one of the models investigated was the United States and that fundamentally, NHI "is modeled after (U.S.) Medicare. And there are so many similarities - other than that our program covers all of the population, and Medicare covers only the elderly. It seems the way to go to have social insurance."^[6]^[7] NHI delivers universal coverage offered by a government-run insurer. The working population pays premiums split with their employers, others pay a flat rate with government help and the poor or veterans are fully subsidized. Taiwan’s citizens no longer have to worry about going bankrupt due to medical bills.^[8]
Under this model, citizens have free range to choose hospitals and physicians without using a gatekeeper and do not have to worry about waiting lists. NHI offers a comprehensive benefit package that covers preventive medical services, prescription drugs, dental services, Chinese medicine, home nurse visits and many more. Working people do not have to worry about losing their jobs or changing jobs because they will not lose their insurance. Since NHI, the previously uninsured have increased their usage of medical services. Most preventive services are free such as annual checkups and maternal and child care. Regular office visits have co-payments as low as US $5 per visit. Co-payments are fixed and unvaried by the person’s income.^[9]

	≈ 1906	≈ 1998^[10]	≈ 2009^[11]^[12]
Life Expectancy	M: 39 years; F: 43 years	M: 72 years; F: 78 years	M: 75 years; F: 81 years
Infant Mortality	84.1 per 1,000 live births	6.14 per 1,000 live births	5.35 per 1,000 live births
Maternal Mortality	7.6 per 1,000 live births	0.9 per 1,000 live births

By 2001, 97 percent of the population were enrolled in the program. Every enrollee has a Health IC smart card. This credit-card-size card only contains 32 kilobytes of memory that includes provider and patient profiles to identify and reduce insurance fraud, overcharges, duplication of services and tests.^[13] The physician puts the card into a reader and the patient’s medical history and prescriptions come up on a computer screen. The insurer is billed the medical bill and it is automatically paid. Taiwan’s single-payer insurer monitors standards, usage and quality of treatment for diagnosis by requiring the providers to submit a full report every 24 hours. This improves quality of treatment and limits physicians from over prescribing medications as well as keeps patients from abusing the system.^[8]
Patients and doctors alike are satisfied with NHI. However, doctors have been more dissatisfied because fee premiums are controlled by the system as well as selection of services provided under the system. Also, doctors could be heavily penalized for a wide variety of reasons such as seeing too many patients or offering too much services even if patients and services were valid. Although patients' satisfaction has been in the 70 percent range. This system has led to protests by health care providers. At the beginning of 2006, satisfaction decreased to the mid-60 percent range because the program needed more money to cover its services. Since then, satisfaction has gone back to the 70 percent range. Enrollees are satisfied with more equal access to health care, have greater financial risk protection and have equity in health care financing.^[8]
Taiwan has the lowest administration cost in the world of 2 percent.^[8] Before NHI, Taiwan spent 4.7 to 4.8 percent on health care. A year after NHI, it increased spending to 5.39 percent. Prior to NHI, the average annual rate of increase every year was around 13 percent. Now, the annual rate of increase is around 5 percent.^[5] Taiwan spends a little over 6 percent in GDP and less than US $900 per person.^[14]

[edit] Problems

Even with all their success in their health care system, Taiwan has suffered some misfortunes. The government is not taking in enough money to cover the services it provides, so it is borrowing money from banks.^[15] The revenue base is capped so it does not keep pace with the increase in national income. Premiums are regulated by politicians^[16] and they are afraid to raise premiums because of voters. The country is slow at adopting technology except for drugs. There is a low doctor-to-population ratio resulting in too many patients depending on too few doctors. Patients visit the doctor more frequently causing doctors to keep visits short to about 2 to 5 minutes per patient.^[17] There is no system to regulate systematic reporting of clinical performance, patient outcomes and adverse events.

[edit] Health information technology

Taiwan began implementing its health information network in the 1980s and continues to invest in HIT today, perfecting existing systems and incorporating new applications. Leaders in Taiwan acknowledge that HIT not only helps to provide efficient and safe medical care but will also play a significant role in sustaining the economy’s national health insurance system. Currently, all hospitals and most clinics are connected to the Bureau of National Health Insurance through (BNHI) a Virtual Private Network (VPN) for e-claim purposes. Additionally, all residents use health smart cards that contain limited EHRs

JANUARY 21, 2011

2011-01-21T20:13:00.000-05:00

FRIDAY HUMDINGERS

BARRE DRIVER HAS 12 DUIs
Man, he's in the hall of fame. Makes those drivers with three or four look like amateurs.

BELOW ZERO COLD SNAP COMING TO AREA
Shoot - in the old days we'd be out in t-shirts playing snow football when it was 20 below, which was everyday!

VERMONT YOUTH ORCHESTRA HIRES NEW DIRECTOR
What was wrong with the old one? Nobody knows.

McDONALD'S TO OFFER PURE MAPLE SYRUP IN ITS OATMEAL
Is this the first time they've ever served anything pure?

JANUARY 19, 2010

2011-01-19T12:57:00.001-05:00

ROUTE 15 SPEEDWAY NEVER DULL

One can usually count on cars bustling down Route 15, well over the speed limit, especially when it's snowing.
Now a drunken idiot has taken the lunacy to a new extreme, driving the wrong way toward Winooski, in the lanes heading to Essex! She must have been buzzed - well, it was a football Sunday.
With inebriated morons coming out of the woodwork lately, we were curious to see what other countries do about the problem of alcohol and driving. Take a minute and have a looksie, thanks to Wikipedia.
(BAC and more).

Asia

[edit] Central Asia

Kyrgyzstan: 0.05%
Mongolia: 0.02%
Turkmenistan: 0.033%

[edit] East Asia

China: 0.02% (CNY 200–500 fine, 1–3 months license suspension); 0.08% (up to 15 days prison, 3–6 months license suspension, CNY 500-2000 fine) Ministry of Public Safety
Hong Kong: 0.05% or BrAC 0.22 mg/L or urine 0.067%. Driving under the influence of alcohol beyond legal limit is punishable with a monetary fine and up to three years imprisonment, with 10 driving-offense points and mandatory Driving Improvement Course.
Japan: 0.03% (BrAC 0.15 mg/L)
Republic of Korea: 0.05%
Taiwan: 0.05% (BrAC 0.25 mg/L)

Over 0.05% but under 0.11%: TWD 15,000 to 60,000 fine, and license suspension for 1 year.
0.11% and above: license suspension for 1 year, and charge of offences against public safety with possible prison sentence up to 1 year as the maximum penalty. If the driver is convicted of causing accidents, the penalty shall be increased by half.
If the driver causes serious injuries or death, the license will be suspended for life.

[edit] South Asia

Pakistan: No limit, alcohol is banned.
India: 0.03%.^[1] If Suspected by Police, Driver will be taken to Moffusil Police Stations and tested using Breath Analyzer.In Most Towns and Cities, Police Carry Breath Analyzers.
Nepal: 0.03
Sri Lanka: 0.06% - Breathalyzer testing is not used routinely. If suspected by police the driver is produced before the closest government medical officer who examines and determines whether the driver is under influence. If the driver refuses examination by the medical officer he is considered to have been under influence by default.

[edit] Southeast Asia

Cambodia: 0.05%
Laos: .80mgs per 100ml of blood^[2]
Malaysia: 0.05%
Philippines: No limit
Singapore: 0.08% or BrAC: 35 microgrammes of alcohol per 100ml of breath [4], strictly enforced.
Thailand: 0.05%
Indonesia: No Limit (alcohol is strictly^{[clarification needed]} regulated)
Vietnam: No Limit

[edit] Western Asia

Armenia: Zero
Azerbaijan: Zero
Georgia: 0.03%
Iran: No limit, alcohol is banned.
Israel: 0.05%
Jordan: Zero
Kuwait: No limit, alcohol is banned.
Saudi Arabia: No limit, alcohol is banned.

[edit] Africa

Angola: No limit
Algeria: 0.01%
Benin: 0.05%
Cape Verde: 0.08%
Central African Republic: 0.08%
Comoros: No Limit
Congo: No limit
Egypt : 0.05%
Equatorial Guinea: Zero
Eritrea: Zero
Ethiopia: No limit
The Gambia: Zero
Ghana: 0.08%
Guinea: Zero
Guinea-Bissau: 0.05%
Kenya: 0.08%
Malawi: Zero
Mauritius: 0.05%
Namibia: 0.05%
Niger: 0.08%
Nigeria: Zero
Seychelles: 0.08%
South Africa: 0.05% and 0.02% for professional drivers (trucks over 3.5 tonnes, and vehicles carrying passengers for reward) National Road Traffic Act, 1996
Togo: 0.042%
Uganda: 0.08%
Tanzania: 0.05%
Zambia: 0.08%

[edit] North America

[edit] Canada

Main article: Drunk driving (Canada)

Canada: 0.05-0.08%

The Criminal Law Amendment Act, 1968-69 made it a per se offence to drive with a blood alcohol content (BAC) in excess of 80 mg/100 ml of blood. Refusal of a police officer's demand to provide a breath sample was made an offence at the same time and both began as summary conviction offences, with a mandatory minimum $50 fine.^[3]
Driving under the influence of alcohol is a generic term for a series of offences under the Criminal Code of Canada. The main offences are operating a motor vehicle while the ability to do so is impaired by alcohol or a drug, contrary to section 253(a) of the Canadian Criminal Code, and operating a motor vehicle while having a blood alcohol concentration of greater than 80 milligrams of alcohol in 100 millilitres of blood, contrary to section 253(b) of the Criminal Code. See Criminal Code Sections 253 to 259 Both offences can be committed by a person who is actually operating or driving a motor vehicle, vessel, aircraft, or railway equipment or by a person who has care or control of such a vehicle. Care or control includes actual care or control and presumed care or control section 260(1)(a) where the person occupies the driver's seat. The latter is often the case where police find an individual sleeping behind the wheel.
The offences are usually investigated by the police coming across a driver with either an erratic driving pattern or who has been pulled over. The police may immediately have grounds to arrest for impaired driving and make an approved instrument demand under section 254(3). Those grounds are based on various indicia of impairment. If the police merely have a suspicion of alcohol in the individual's body, they may make a demand under section 254(2) requiring the driver to give a sample of his or her breath into an approved screening device, which will determine the driver's blood-alcohol concentration on a preliminary, non-evidentiary basis. Based on the screening device results, if the police believe on reasonable and probable grounds that the driver is committing an offence under section 253 of the Criminal Code, the police can demand that the driver go to the police station to give samples of his or her breath for an approved instrument test, which would be used to prosecute the driver for over 80 milligrams of alcohol in 100 millilitres of blood.
The minimum punishments for impaired driving and driving over 0.08% are:

For the first offence: $1,000 fine, 1-year driving prohibition;
For the second offence: 30 days jail, 2-year driving prohibition
For the third or subsequent offence: 120 days jail, 3-year driving prohibition.

In addition to the federal criminal laws, all provincial governments have enacted their own measures against impaired driving. Such laws complement the federal laws (part of the double aspect doctrine of Canadian constitutional law). Some provinces will suspend a driver's license upon him or her being charged with impaired driving, rather than being convicted. Some provinces will automatically impose a licence suspension that runs longer than the driving prohibition handed down by the court. Provincial and federal driving prohibitions run concurrently if imposed for the same offence(s)at the same time.
In Ontario, a person convicted of a DUI must also complete an 8 month training course and install an ignition interlock device for a period of one year after the licence suspension. Jail time can be imposed for any first time Criminal Code drinking and driving offence. Jail is appropriate where there is an accident and/or the readings are high. Readings above 160 mg/100mLs are an aggravating circumstance. Jail is the minimum punishment for second and third offences.
Foreigners with recent (in the past 5 years) drunk-driving criminal convictions are generally refused entry at the border. Canada's Immigration Act section 36 considers any foreign drinking and driving outstanding charge or conviction as an Indictable offence unless a prosecutor has chosen to proceed by summary conviction.
On January 27, 2001, Andrei Knyazev, a Russian diplomat in Canada killed a Canadian woman while drinking and driving. He was imprisoned in Russia. This incident triggered a crackdown on drunk driving by diplomats in Canada.
On Dec 15, 2005, Charly Hart of Watford, Ontario, a man with a 35-year history of impaired driving which included thirty-nine convictions, was on the occasion of his latest such conviction sentenced to six years in prison, the most severe penalty ever handed down in Canada when the offence did not involve a fatality, and the maximum sentence permitted under the law.^[4]

[edit] Mexico

Mexico: 0.08%

Foreigners with recent (in the past 10 years) drunk-driving criminal convictions are generally refused entry at the border. Mexico's Immigration Act section 36 considers any foreign drinking and driving outstanding charge or conviction as an Indictable offense (similar to a felony).

[edit] United States

Main article: Drunk driving in the United States

A 1937 poster warns US drivers about the dangers of mixing alcohol and driving.

United States: 0.08%

Some states now have two statutory offenses.^[5] The first is the traditional offense, variously called driving under the influence of alcohol (DUI), driving while intoxicated/impaired (DWI)^[6] or operating while intoxicated/impaired (OWI). The second and more recent is the so-called illegal per se offense of driving with a blood-alcohol concentration (BAC) of 0.08% (previously 0.10%) or higher. In most states, the timing of the chemical test is important because the law mandates a result within a given time period after the driving stopped, usually two hours.^[7] The first offense requires proof of intoxication, although evidence of BAC is admissible as rebuttably presumptive evidence of that intoxication; the second requires only proof of BAC at the time of being in physical control of a motor vehicle. An accused may be convicted of both offenses, but may only be punished for one.^[8] The differences between state penalties still wavers. Wisconsin, for instance, is the only state that continues to treat first offense drunk driving arrests as forfeiture.^[9]
It is also a criminal offense in all states to drive a vehicle while under the influence of drugs DUID, or under the combined influence of alcohol and drugs; the drugs themselves need not be illegal, but can be prescription or even over-the-counter. In some states, the effects of some herbal remedies (such as Kava Kava extract) fall into this category. Several states also have enacted statutes to create a DUI offense by virtue of huffing noxious fumes, such as glue sniffing or inhaling similar volatile chemical fumes. [5]. DUI-impairment statutes require that violations be supported by evidence of impairment as a result of the drugs or drugs and alcohol, or by any noxious vapors. Some states have recently passed laws making driving with the mere presence of certain drugs (such as marijuana or its metabolites) a criminal offense. These new statutes are sometimes referred to as DUI-drugs per se statutes.
Some states also include a lesser charge of driving with a BAC of 0.05%; other states limit this offense to drivers under the age of 21. All states and DC also now have zero tolerance laws: the license of anyone under 21 driving with any detectable alcohol in their bloodstream (BAC limits of 0.01% or 0.02% apply in some states, such as Florida.^[10]) will be suspended. In 2009, Puerto Rico joined these states, setting a limit of 0.02 for drivers under 21, despite maintaining a legal drinking age of 18.^[11]
The blood-alcohol limit for commercial drivers is 0.04%.^[12] Commercial drivers are also subject to stricter punishments for exceeding the blood-alcohol limit. According to the NHTSA, "Drivers are considered to be alcohol-impaired when their blood alcohol concentration (BAC) is .08 grams per deciliter (g/dL) or higher. Thus, any fatality occurring in a crash involving a driver with a BAC of .08 or higher is considered to be an alcohol-impaired-driving fatality. The term “driver” refers to the operator of any motor vehicle, including a motorcycle." ^[13]

Signs like this warn drivers about the dangers of driving under the influence and how "you can't afford it". This sign is common in Pennsylvania (Handbook Of Approved Signs I60-1).

Pilots of aircraft may not fly less than eight hours after consuming alcohol, while under the impairing influence of alcohol or any other drug, or while showing a blood alcohol concentration equal to or greater than 0.04 grams per decilitre of blood.^[14]
The various versions of "driving under the influence" generally constitute a misdemeanor (punishable by up to one year in jail). However, the offense may be elevated to a felony (punishable by a longer term in state prison) if the incident caused serious injury (felony DUI), death (vehicular manslaughter or vehicular homicide), or extensive property damage (a state specified dollar amount) or if the defendant has a designated number of prior DUI convictions within a given time period (commonly, 3 prior convictions within 7 years). California, which is being followed by a growing number of states, now charges second-degree murder where the legal state of mind of malice exists—that is, where the defendant exhibited a reckless indifference to the lives of others.

The aftermath of a drunk driving car crash is simulated as part of an anti-drunk driving campaign for California high school students.

[edit] California

A California DUI arrest triggers two separate cases–one in court and another at the California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). The criminal case typically involves two different counts. The first, under California Penal Code section 23152(a), is driving under the influence of alcohol, which is commonly known as the "a" count. The second offense, under California Penal Code section 23152(b), is a related charge of driving with a blood alcohol content (BAC) of .08 percent or greater–the "b" count. The second charge is the one that triggers the California Department of Motor Vehicles DUI case, where the California DMV will attempt to suspend the motorist's driving privileges.^[15]
Drivers convicted of DUI criminal court face substantial punishment that can include fines, jail time, probation, alcohol education school, and a driver's license suspension that separate from the one imposed after a lost DMV hearing. The amount of punishment depends on the facts of the case, including how many prior DUI convictions the driver has.
California DUI convictions count as prior offenses for 10 years, meaning that drivers who are arrested for DUI within a decade of a prior drunk driving offense will be charged with a repeat offense. If more than 10 years has passed since a prior DUI arrest, a subsequent drunk driving offense will be charged as a first offense. The time period is measured from arrest date to arrest date.
Anyone arrested for DUI in California must request a DMV hearing within 10 days or have their driver's license automatically suspended. The California DMV hearing that follows a DUI arrest is a civil matter, not a criminal case, so there is a much lower standard of proof than in criminal court. Whereas in criminal court guilt must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt, at the DMV the standard of proof is by a "preponderance of the evidence," which is often described as "50 percent plus a feather." This means that the DMV hearing officer must only establish that it's more likely than not that the driver violated California DUI laws.
The hearing officer at a California DMV hearing acts as both judge and prosecutor. The issues at hand will depend on whether the driver took a chemical test to determine the blood alcohol content, or BAC. If the driver took a breath or blood test to determine the BAC, the DMV hearing officer will seek to establish three facts - whether police had probable cause to arrest the driver, whether the arrest was lawful, and whether the driver had a BAC of .08 percent or greater in violation of California law. If the driver is accused of refusing a chemical test, the hearing officer will seek to establish whether the driver was properly advised of the consequences of refusing the test, and whether he or she continued to refuse after receiving that warning.
Drivers who lose their DMV hearings following a California DUI arrest face substantial driver's license suspensions. The length of the driver's license suspension depends on how many prior DUI arrests the driver has and whether or not a chemical test was taken. For example, a first-time DUI arrest where the driver took a chemical test will result in a four-month suspension, while a first-time arrest with a chemical test refusal will result in a one-year driver's license suspension.

[edit] DUI Investigation

One of three things must happen to trigger a DUI investigation: There must be an observed violation of the law, a driving pattern so suggestive of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs so as to provide a reasonable suspicion that a crime has taken place, or a lawful roadblock or checkpoint.
One reason drivers are stopped on suspicion of DUI is because of driving patterns such as weaving, driving too slowly, or rapid braking or acceleration. Some of the most common reasons police stop drivers, such as speeding, aren’t recognized as DUI driving patterns by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.^[16]

[edit] Administrative License Suspension (ALS)

Law enforcement officers conduct Field Sobriety Tests (FSTs), including the use of portable breath analyzers (PBAs) for the purposes of determining if probable cause exists for an arrest. Until an arrest has been made, a motorist is under no obligation to perform any test. Most states^{[citation needed]} consider such a pre-arrest refusal inadmissible in court.
Depending on previous offenses or refusals, licenses may be automatically suspended for a period of 90 days to five years, or permanently revoked for multiple DWI convictions (Connecticut).
As of 2010, only eight states did not have ALS laws: Kentucky, Michigan, Montana, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota and Tennessee.^[17]

An SR-22 is an official documentation required to redeem a suspended drivers license and get a car registered at the local Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). A SR22 Filing is a form issued by an insurance company which removes a suspension order placed by the DMV's office on an individual's driving privilege. The most common reason for an SR22 filing is an arrest for Driving Under Intoxication (DUI) or Driving While Intoxicated (DWI).^[18] The filing provides a guarantee to the state that an insurance company has issued at least minimum liability coverage for the person making that filing and that the insurance company will notify the DMV should the insurance ever lapse for any reason.

Drivers in the state of Florida who are not lawfully arrested with reasonable cause by a law enforcement officer, DO NOT have to submit to any "on the spot" chemical or physical alcohol testing.^[19]
In Arizona, a refusal to submit to a chemical test often results in the police obtaining a search warrant and, if necessary, forcibly taking the suspect's blood.

[edit] Caribbean

Cuba: Zero - 0.01%
Dominican Republic: Zero (0.05% for professional drivers)
Jamaica: 0.035%

[edit] Central America

Belize: 0.08%
Costa Rica: 0.075%
El Salvador: 0.05%
Guatemala: 0.08%
Honduras: 0.07%
Nicaragua: 0.08%
Panama: 0.08%

[edit] South America

Argentina: 0.05% for cars, 0.02% for motorcycles.
Bolivia: 0.07%
Brazil: Zero
Chile: 0.049%
Colombia: 0.04%
Ecuador: 0.07%
Guyana: 0.01%
Paraguay: 0.08%
Peru: 0.045%
Suriname: 0.08%
Uruguay: 0.03% (since March 2009)
Venezuela: 0.05%

[edit] Europe

[edit] European Union

Austria: 0.05% and 0.01% for drivers who have held a licence for less than 2 years and drivers of vehicles over 7.5 tonnes
Belgium: 0.05%^[20]
Bulgaria: 0.05%
Czech Republic: Zero^[20]
Cyprus
Denmark: 0.05%, imprisonment if over 0.20%, zero if not driving safely. Fine one month pay less tax * (alcohol%*10).
Estonia: 0.02%^[21]
Finland: 0.05%,^[20] 0.12% (aggravated) Penalty is a fine plus license suspension from 1 month to 5 years. For aggravated, also prison sentence is possible, usually as a suspended sentence.
France: 0.05%,^[20] 0.08% (aggravated)
Germany: zero for beginners (less than 2 years' experience and drivers under the age of 21) as well as drivers making commercial transportation of passengers; 0.03% in conjunction with any other traffic offense or accident; 0.05% without evidence of alcoholic impact; penalty for 0.11% is driver licence withdrawn for about one year; for 0.16% regranting of the licence requires a successful medical-psychological driver assessment^[22]
Greece: 0.05% (BrAC 0.25 mg/L)%^[20] and 0.02% for drivers who have held a license for less than 2 years, motor cycle and professional drivers
Hungary: Zero^[20]
Ireland: 0.08%,^[20] to be reduced to 0.05% or 0.02% for learner and professional drivers. Unlike other European countries, Police do not need a reason to request a breath sample. Being convicted of drunk driving usually carries a 2 year ban as well as a €1500 fine.^[23]
Italy: 0.05%, 0.08% (aggravated, up to 6 months imprisonment), 0.15% (aggravated, 3 to 12 months imprisonment), zero for drivers with less than 3 years' experience and professional drivers (bus, trucks etc...)^[20]
Latvia: 0.02% for drivers with less than 2 years of experience and 0.05% for those with more than 2 years of experience
Lithuania: 0.02% for drivers with less than 2 years of experience and 0.04% for those with more than 2 years of experience^[20]
Luxembourg: 0.05% and 0.02% for professional drivers and drivers with less than 2 years of experience (since October 1, 2007)
Malta: 0.08%^[20]
Netherlands: 0.05%,^[20] 0.02% for drivers with less than 5 years' experience
Poland: 0.02% (prison up to 3 years), 0,05% (driving license banned forever + prison)^[20]
Portugal: 0.05%^[20]
Romania: 0.0%
Slovakia: Zero^[20]
Slovenia: Zero for drivers with 2 years or less experience and professional drivers, 0.24 mg/l (0.05%) for all others.
Spain: 0.05%^[24] and 0.03% for drivers with less than 2 years experience and drivers of freight vehicles over 3.5 tonnes, and of passenger vehicles with more than 9 seats.
Sweden: 0.02% (up to 6 months imprisonment), 0.10% (imprisonment, maximum 2 years), zero (if not driving safely.)
United Kingdom: 0.08%^[20]

Note: "Zero" usually means "below detection limit".

Main article: Drink driving (United Kingdom)

In the UK, driving or attempting to drive whilst above the legal limit or unfit through drink carries a maximum penalty of six months' imprisonment, a fine of up to £5,000 and a minimum 12 months' driving ban. A drunk-driving offense remains recorded on a driving licence for 11 years. Being in charge of a vehicle whilst over the legal limit or unfit through drink could result in three months' imprisonment plus a fine of up to £2,500 and a driving ban.
The penalty for refusing to provide a specimen of breath, blood or urine for analysis is a maximum six months' imprisonment, up to £5000 fine and a driving ban of at least 12 months. Causing death by careless driving when under the influence of drink or drugs carries a maximum penalty of 14 years in prison, a minimum two-year driving ban and a requirement to pass an extended driving test before the offender is able to drive legally again.
The offense of driving whilst under the influence of alcohol is one to which there is no defense, as such. However, it may be possible to argue that special reasons exist which are such that you should not be disqualified from driving despite having committed the offense. Reasons which have been held to amount to special reasons include:

shortness of distance driven
unintentional commission of the offense (i.e. laced drinks)
emergencies

Note, however, that special reasons are notoriously difficult to establish and the burden of proof is always upon the accused to establish them.

[edit] Magistrates sentencing guidelines

In England and Wales when DWI offenders appear before a Magistrates Court, the Magistrates have guidelines they refer to before they decide on a suitable sentence to give the offender. These guidelines are issued by the Sentencing Guidelines Council ^[25] and cover offences for which sentence is frequently imposed in a magistrates’ court when dealing with adult offenders.
Offences can either be tried summarily which means they can only be heard in the magistrates court or they can be either way offences which means magistrates may find their sentencing powers are insufficient and indict the case to crown court. The majority of drunk driving offences are summary only offences which can only be tried in a magistrates court. Only the most serious offences such as a collision and/or death/injury involved are indicted to crown court. The maximum sentence magistrates can usually impose is a £5,000 fine and/or a six-month prison sentence.

[edit] Other European countries

Albania: 0.01%^[20]
Belarus: 0.05%^[20]
Bosnia and Herzegovina: 0.05%
Croatia: Zero for professional drivers and drivers under 24 years of age, 0.05% for all others^[26]
Gibraltar: 0.05% ^[27]
Iceland: 0.05%^[20]
Liechtenstein: 0.08%
Macedonia: Zero for professional drivers, public service drivers, commercial transport and drivers beginners, 0.05% for all others ^[28]
Moldova: 0.03%^[20]
Norway: 0.02%^[20] Between 0.02%-0.05% you get a ticket, over 0.05 you get a large ticket (roughly 3-4000$), jailtime and revoked license. Strictly enforced.
Russia: 0.00%^[29]
Switzerland: 0.05%^[20]
Serbia: 0.03% for all, zero for professional drivers, public service drivers, commercial transport and drivers beginners
Turkey: 0.05%,^[20] zero for commercial transport and public service drivers.
Ukraine: Zero

[edit] Oceania

[edit] Australia

A roadside warning in Victoria, Australia.

Road laws are state or territory based, but all states and territories have set similar rules.
In Australia, laws allow police officers to stop any driver and perform a random breath test without reason. Roadblocks can be set up - for example leading out of town centres on Friday and Saturday nights, or during football or other events - where every single driver will be breath-tested. This differs from UK and US laws, where police generally need a reason to suspect that the driver is intoxicated, before requesting a breath and/or sobriety test.

[edit] Australian Capital Territory

Zero for drivers and motorcyclists holding a learner, provisional, restricted or probationary licence and for drivers operating heavy vehicles over 15t GVM or driving a public vehicle for hire or reward (for example taxi and bus drivers).^[30]
0.05% for all other drivers and motorcyclists.^[31]

[edit] New South Wales

Zero for Learner and Provisional licences
0.02% for Drivers of vehicles of "gross vehicle mass" greater than 13.9 tonnes, vehicles carrying dangerous goods or public vehicles such as a taxi or bus.
0.05% for all other drivers
Zero limit for methamphetamine, Cannabis and MDMA.

[edit] Northern Territory

Zero for provisional (probationary) licence holders.
0.05% for all other drivers.

[edit] Queensland

A Zero limit applies to the drivers of trucks, buses, articulated vehicles, vehicles carrying dangerous goods, pilot vehicles, taxis, all learner drivers and provisional drivers.
0.05% for other drivers.
Zero limit for methamphetamine, Cannabis and MDMA.

[edit] South Australia

Zero limit for learner, provisional, probationary, heavy (greater than 15 tonne) vehicle, taxis, licensed chauffeured vehicles, dangerous goods, and bus licenses.
0.05% for all other drivers.
Zero limit for methamphetamine, Cannabis and MDMA.

[edit] Tasmania

Zero limit for learner, provisional, truck, bus, and taxi licences.
0.05% for all other drivers.
Zero limit for methamphetamine, Cannabis and MDMA.

[edit] Victoria

Zero limit applies for unlicensed drivers, holders of learner permits and probationary licences, "professional" drivers, and certain relicensed drunk-drivers.
Below 0.05% for most other drivers.
Zero limit for methamphetamine, Cannabis and MDMA.

There are also other restrictions for drivers in Victoria:

Limits apply within 3 hours of driving - that is, police can require a person to submit to an alcohol or drugs test within 3 hours of driving and it is an offense to fail that test, unless the drug or alcohol use occurred after driving (see Road Safety Act 1986, ss. 49, 53 and 55E).
Licenses canceled for certain serious drunk-driving offenses may only be reissued after obtaining a court order. This is the case for repeat offenders, and first offenders above 0.15% . In such cases, the relicensed driver is subject to a zero limit for 3 years following relicensing, or for as long as the person is required to use an alcohol interlock.
Alcohol interlocks must be imposed whenever a repeat drunk-driver is relicensed.
A court also has discretion to impose an alcohol interlock when relicensing a first offender in certain serious cases, generally when the offense involves a BAC of 0.15% or higher.
The law requires interlocks to be used for certain minimum periods, but the requirement to use an interlock does not automatically end at the completion of the minimum period. Once that period has expired, an individual may apply to a court to have the interlock condition removed from their driver's licence. The State Police must be given notice of the application and may make submissions to the court on whether the interlock condition should be removed. The court will also take into account data recorded by the interlock itself (e.g. whether any attempts were made to start the vehicle by a person who had been drinking).
Driving without an interlock when one is required carries severe penalties, including imprisonment.
If a doctor sees any patient who is aged 15 years or over as a result of a motor vehicle accident, the patient must allow the doctor to take a blood sample for testing for alcohol and drug content in a way that preserves the chain of evidence. If this process is skipped the doctor may not be able to discover the alcohol blood level. The results can be used as evidence in subsequent court proceedings.
The law allows a police officer to require any driver (or any person who has driven a vehicle within the last three hours) to perform a random saliva test for methamphetamine, Cannabis or MDMA, all of which are subject to a zero limit (see Road Safety Act 1986: ss. 49, 55E & 55D)

[edit] Western Australia

0.02% for learner, provisional (probationary) licence holders (0.00% as from July 1, 2008) or persons convicted of driving under the influence (for three years after the offense) and failing to comply with a request for breath, blood or urine (for three years after the offense).
0.05% for all other drivers.

Readings over 0.08% but under 0.15% BAC, and 0.15% BAC and above (legally defined as Drunk Driving) comprise separate offenses, the latter attracting heavier penalties. Persistent offenders may be barred from driving for terms up to and including life, and may also be imprisoned.
The law allows a police officer to require any driver to perform a random saliva test for methamphetamine, Cannabis or MDMA, all of which are subject to a zero limit

[edit] New Zealand

The system in New Zealand is age-based.^[32]

0.03% BAC for persons under 20 years (or 150μg/L breath)
0.08% BAC for persons 20 years and over (or 400μg/L breath)

The penalties for exceeding the limit are:

Persons under 20 years - up to 3 months imprisonment and/or up to NZ$2250 fine; loss of license for three months or more.
Persons 20 years or over (first and second offenses) - up to 3 months imprisonment and/or up to NZ$4500 fine; loss of license for six months or more.
Persons 20 years or over (third and subsequent offenses) - 2 years imprisonment; NZ$6000 fine; loss of license for one year or more.

The penalty for injuring or killing someone when under the influences is the same as dangerous driving (up to 5 years imprisonment and/or up to NZ$20,000; loss of license for one year or more.)

[edit] Other

French Polynesia: 0.05%
Micronesia: 0.05%
Palau: 0.01%

[edit] See also

[edit] References

^ This is according to section 185 of Motor Vehicles Act 1988. On a first offense, the punishment is imprisonment of 6 months and/or fine of 2000 Indian Rupees (INR). If the second offense is committed within three years, the punishment is 2 years and/or fine of 3000 Indian Rupees (INR). The clause of 30 mg/dL was added by an amendment in 1994. It came into effect beginning 14 November 1994.
^ In April of 2010 Vientiane Traffic Police Department launched operation A+E (Awareness and Enforcement) to crack down on driving offences including drunk driving. The KPL Lao news release April 6, 2010 mentions the national legal limit as 80mgs.
^ Standing Committee on Justice and Human Rights (May 1999). Toward Eliminating Impaired Driving — Chapter 2: Legislative Background. Parliament of Canada. http://cmte.parl.gc.ca/Content/HOC/committee/361/juri/reports/rp1031597/jurirp21/09-ch2-e.htm#0.2.5FPCNZ.3YC5UE.7ZN1CF.D3. Retrieved 2008-04-14.
^ "Man gets 6 years for drunk driving". CBC News. 2005-12-05. http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2005/12/15/20051215-drunkdriving.html. Retrieved 2009-05-11.
^ See, e.g., Cal. Vehicle Code sec. 23152(a) and (b) retrieved October 8, 2008
^ See, e.g., N.Y. Vehicle and traffic law, section 1192, found at New York Assembly official web site. Go to "Bill Search and Legislative Materials", then "New York State Laws." Accessed March 17, 2008.
^ http://www.duiattorney.com/dui-basics/test-timing
^ E.g., People v. Cosko, 152 Cal. App. 3d 54, 199 Cal. Rptr. 289 (1984), citing Cal. Penal Code sec. 654
^ Walters, Steven. "First drunken driving offense shouldn't be a crime, Van Hollen says" Milwaukee Journal Sentinel17 Jan 2009.
^ "Florida DUI Laws". http://autoinsurancetips.com/florida-dui-laws.
^ http://www.inform.com/article/Puerto%20Rico%20OKs%20one%20lowest%20drunk-driving%20limits Puerto Rico OKs one lowest drunk-driving limits
^ 49 CFR 382.20
^ [1]
^ 14 CFR 91.17, also known as Federal Air Regulation 91.17
^ http://www.californiaduihelp.com
^ http://www.californiaduihelp.com/dui_investigation/dui_investigations.asp
^ DUI/DWI laws, Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, February 2010
^ http://www.californiaduihelp.com/insurance/sr_22.asp
^ Florida Administrative Suspension Laws (Accessed 14 May 2008)
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d ^e ^f ^g ^h ⁱ ^j ^k ^l ^m ⁿ ^o ^p ^q ^r ^s ^t ^u ^v Blood Alcohol Concentration Limits Worldwide, International Centre For Policy Studies. Page retrieved 30 October 2006
^ Liiklusseadus [Traffic Act]. In Estonian. Riigi Teataja
^ Medical-psychological assessment as prerequisites for regranting of licences
^ Irish Independent - "One pint too much as drive limit cut"
^ El alcohol y la conducción (page in Spanish). Page retrieved 30 October 2006.
^ Sentencing Guidelines Council
^ "Nula promila ukida se od 1. lipnja" (in Croatian). Vjesnik. April 25, 2008. http://www.vjesnik.com/Html/2008/04/25/Clanak.asp?r=unu&c=3. Retrieved 2008-07-29.
^ UK Government Advice on Gibraltar Page retrieved 30 October 2006.
^ No.234 [2] in Macedonian
^ (Russian) Medvedev signed the law, completely abolishing any alcohol limits. Even minimal alcohol content will lead to revoking of the driving licence [3]
^ "Learner Licence". ACT Government. December 17, 2010. http://www.rego.act.gov.au/assets/PDFs/ACT%20licence%20type%20information%20sheet.pdf. Retrieved 2010-12-17.
^ "Learner Licence". ACT Government. December 17, 2010. http://www.rego.act.gov.au/assets/PDFs/ACT%20licence%20type%20information%20sheet.pdf. Retrieved 2010-12-17.
^ New Zealand's alcohol limits LTSA website

[edit] External links

DUI Laws Across Country Changing
roadsafety.qld.gov.au
thinkroadsafety.gov.uk
ltsa.govt.nz
Break the Law, Pay the Price, Ontario Ministry of Transportation website educating drivers on the consequences of being caught driving impaired in the province
Campaign Against Drinking and Driving
Impaired Driving, MedlinePlus
Drink Driving Limits in Europe Safe Travel UK
Drink Driving Laws and Traffic Ofences in QLD

[hide]v · d · eTraffic law and safety

Rules of the road	All-way stop · Australian Road Rules · Boulevard rule · Green Cross Code · Highway Code · Move over law · New Zealand Road C

SATURDAY, JANUARY 1, 2010

2011-01-01T16:40:00.000-05:00

How Sad, the Year Just Passed
How sad, the year just passed! A year the past
Arose like smoke from deep beneath the rubble,
Pouring up through fissures in the heart,
Perhaps our own as much as those of others.
Year of hatred writhing in raw pain,
Near mad with certainty arrayed in faith,
Each aggrieved alight with righteous anger,
Whirlwinds swirling through their swathes of rage.
Yet let us in the new year look for justice,
Ever the rock on which to live in peace,
Administered with love for every soul,
Regarding every evil as our own.

Nicholas Gordon

MONDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2010

2010-12-20T16:58:00.002-05:00

The Casey Hill Hooligans

SMITTY BUTTERS UP SHUMMY
Entergy/Vermont Yankee/ World Tritium Headquarters PR stooge Larry Smith playing nice with Peter Shumlin saying, "Certainly having discussions with the Governor-elect was fruitful."
Sure, Larry. Whatever you say.
Now, whaddya want!?

Well, we know what they want. 20 more years of Tritium expulsion.

Anyway, Entergy agreed to get back in and start scooping out the Trit from the groundwater.
Shummy's not even Gov yet and he's getting it done. Not bad, eh?

AKWANOSENSE CASINO BUYS SOUTH BURLINGTON!
CITY'S FUTURE MUCH BRIGHTER NOW
In a stunning development, the casino giant paid cash for the bankrupt city of South Burlington, which has recently suffered from "unconventional accounting practices." Laugh out loud.
When asked what in the devil's name were they going to do with South Burlington, a casino official said, "Shoot, we're gonna dump a casino on Williston Road and another on Shelburne Road.
There you go.

Five Corners Update
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners just as the light went red. Dang!
I started to hunker down for a long nap when...SHAZAM! I heard something very interesting on the radio. They were saying we can all go to our town offices and look at everyone's property tax rebate data. Natch!
It seems that because of the prebate funds going to the town and property tax records being public stuff, we can go find out, with some simple math, what everyone makes. Nice!

So I got out of the car and went to the town office, 'cuz I wanted to know what Hal down the street brought home for payola. Wow! He's doin' okay! Time to hit him up for a loan!

Anyway, it was a fine time figuring out all the earnings in Essex, but before I knew it, two hours had passed, Yikes! I had to back to the car! What if the light changed? Naw. Didn't have to worry about that!

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2010

2010-12-16T14:05:00.003-05:00

ONEROUS, ODIOUS, ODOROUS, ODUMISH ORDEAL
The normally dependable Vermont Edition drops the ball with its gov Douglas retro looksie today, with the inclusion of wannabee journalist/blogger from Green Mountain Buffoonery, John Odum, and corporate lemming from FairCast and former Montpelier B-lister, Sabina Haskel as " ANALYSTS." LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

We, and many others, were looking for expert analysis from the likes of Nelson, or Graff, or even, YES, the Logger.
But instead, we were fed a steady diet of guffaws, gurgling, stammering and lightweight comments.

I knew I should have switched over to WJOY for some Barry Manilow Christmas chansons.
Oh well.

BLOG FOG
A little sparse on the Vermont blog front these days.
One of our favorites, Vermont View, the Vermont Press Bureau site, hasn't posted since October.
We haven't seen much from Michael Colby's Broadsides lately, and Blazing Indiscretions is taking a break.
Our beloved Vermont News Guy has said farewell, and we're waiting for good stuff from Charity.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2010

2010-12-14T16:56:00.000-05:00

CEMENT MIXER ALMOST CREAMS BICYCLIST
On a snowy Colchester Ave in Burlington, the bike and the cement mixer were vying for the same lane. Luckily the mixer slowed, 'cuz the bicyclist wasn't giving up the lane!

MARKOWITZ AND ANR, JIM DOUGLAS AND NASCAR
Just seems that the above mentioned pairs don't fit, eh?
Johnny on the street thinks The Logger is more qualified to be secretary of the Agency of Natural Resources than Deb Markowitz. He thinks The Logger is smart, funny and he sure "knows the woods." When we rebut with Markowitz's leadership and legal skills, Johnny just guffaws and asks, " Yeah, but can she field dress a caribou like Sarah?" We don't know.

GOVERNOR-ELECT HIRES 28 COMMUNICATIONS PEOPLE
Peter Shumlin hasn't quite brought in that many, but he's got a good start. Bianca Slota will PS, and Sue Allen will be "Special Assistant". how many more will "help" with communications?
Weren't the Dems unhappy with Jim Douglas and all of his PR parrots. Hmmm.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Arrived at the Essex Junction Five Corners light just as it turned red. Oh boy! It was going to be a long one.
So I shut the car off and trucked on over to the Essex senior center, hoping to wile away the hours gabbing with the good ole folks. I proceeded to get my butt spanked, losing six straight games of bridge, but recovered, and kicked some geriatric behind in cribbage, winning three in a row. I then gulped down a couple shots of Mango Ensure, and headed back to the intersection just as light went green. It was perfect!

P.S - Here's a joke that is circulating at the center:

My memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as sharp as it used to be!

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2010

2010-12-10T14:16:00.000-05:00

MEDIA WANTS 2 YEAR TERMS FOR GOVERNOR
Think about it, folks. With candidates spending more and more, it's a no-brainer to understand why media outlets prefer the deux ans term, and we wonder how much they have fought insidiously to ensure it stays that way. Has anyone noticed particular coverage, or lack thereof, when the issue has surfaced. Please let us know.

A SWEET TASTING DROPLET OF IRONY
Juicy tidbit from Shay Totten's splendid "Fair Game" column, spotlighting Will Kinzel, who is a top aide to Speaker-elect John Boehner, REPUBLICAN from Ohio.
You see - Will's dad is Bob Kinzel, the sturdy news dude from VPR, which I think we can all agree leans slightly (ahem) left, much loved by many DEMOCRATS.
Hmmm.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Speaking of Bob Kinzel, I was at the Essex Junction Five Corners light this afternoon, listening to Kinzel's last interview with Governor Jim Douglas. The light was taking extra long to change, which I didn't mind, since I was enjoying the show immensely. Gov Smoothpants was his usual eloquent self, and various callers showed smoochy radio love, urging JD to run for Senator or President or lauding him on his knowledge of our fine state. BK even thanked him for rating high on the accessability scale; the good Governor was everywhere, all at the same time.
Right when the interview ended, the light changed. It was perfect.
Essex Junction Five Corners light - I love you!

Publishers note - look in our archives for more Five Corners Updates.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2010

2010-12-06T10:38:00.000-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Industrious day at the Essex Junction Five Corners light. The wait was so excrutiatingly long I was able to walk to Big Lots, pick out a pack of embarrassingly inexpensive Christmas cards, return to the car and sign, seal and stamp each one, with time left over.
I walked them over to the village post office, mailed them and scampered back to the intersection. The light still hadn't changed.
So, I had a few tugs of eggnog and...

When I came to, the cell phone was ringing. It was a friend from Montana who had received the card and was calling to extend the best of the season. We were in the midst of a vigorous back and forth on the true meaning of Christmas when the light finally changed. I wished my pal "all the best", and drove to the dollar store, where I was able to start, and finish, my Christmas shopping. Thanks to the Essex Junction Five Corners light, I truly had found the'spirit of Christmas'.

Dust of Snow
by Robert Frost (1923)

The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree
Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2010

2010-11-29T11:44:00.000-05:00

RIDE, CAPTAIN, RIDE
Captain Richard Phillips, still riding the Somali pirate wave, spoke to about 75 people at the Brownell Library this month. The good captain, who is returning to high seas this month, was spotlighting his book, "A Captain's Duty."
Heck, we were thinking of some fun things that the Captain could do as long as he's still hot. How about a Christmas album, maybe joining forces with the Logger, Bernie Sanders, and/or Brian Dubie to belt out some yuletide carols, with the profits going to some sort of Somali refugee charity.
Or perhaps he could arm wrestle a Rescued Chilean Miner, a gig we would pay big bucks to see.

BURLINGTON SMELL-ECOM
We heard a rumor that Rupert Murdoch was going to buy BT and turn Burlington completely around, going from hummus loving Lib bastion to stiff conservative Repub playland. Or maybe that was just a nasty Prog
dream related back to me.
We also heard that SnittyBank, who's getting all their equip back, is haggling with BT about a pallet of paper
clips, which unreliable sources tell us has already been melted down for cash, with revenues going to board members. Ha!

CHINA REPORTS GAINS AFTER BLACK FRIDAY
China reported a hefty increase in monetary funds after a sizzling American Black Friday. When asked to comment by Vermont Hum reporter Martha Effing, a Chinese official replied, "Thank goodness for that Christmas Tree Shop in Williston, Vermont. We make all their stuff and they sell a ton of it!"

CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER SELLS WINNING LOTTERY TICKET - TO HIMSELF!
We are not kidding. Google it.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Brought the cargo van, which is fitted with a complete gym in the back, to the Essex Junction Five Corners on Sunday. With the 2 hour wait at the light, I was able to get in some serious treadmill and weight training action, and made it back up to the front seat just as the darn thing turned green.
I've renamed the Five Corners; it is now known as the the Essex Junction Five Corners and Fitness Stop. Yeah!

11-22-10

2010-11-22T14:42:00.000-05:00

FREE PATDOWN
Decided to skip my massage today. Instead, went to the airport, slipped into line and received a complimentary rubdown courtesy of the TSA. At the conclusion, the TSA agent/masseuse and I had a truffle and went on with our lives. Ahhh!

WAS THAT BILL SORRELL HOLDING A CAN OF MOUNTAIN DEW?
We doubt it. The AG is pretty vocal suggesting a tax on sugary drinks. Good for him. It's about time all these wingbats guzzling 4 or 5 sodas a day should pay the piper. We're already footing some of the bill every time they visit Boettcher Allen for their diabetes or cardio treatment, not to mention all the other problems brought on by this Tritium in a can. Johnny on the street thinks we should take the whole thing one step further and have the CEOs of Coke and Pepsi arrested and thrown in jail for peddling toxic substances.

ST LOUIS, ST ALBANS MOST DANGEROUS CITIES
The study by CQ Press missed a city when they released their report of the most dangerous cities. Where was Snalbans on the list. Jeez, there's a drug bust up there every few minutes, it seems.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners just as the light turned red! Nuts!
Oh well, it gave me a chance to do a self guided colonoscopy. Yeah, they have the car kits now so one does not have to go to the hospital. After an hour of threading the thing up my butt, I was satified and was yanking it back down when - SUDDENLY! - the light changed. I pulled it out and slammed down the accelerator, eager to get the heck out of there. The light changes only so often and you have to hurry when it does.

11/15/2010

2010-11-15T10:35:00.000-05:00

WHO WAS CHARLES EASTMAN?

Recently, deep in the bowels of the Brownell Library in Essex Junction, a discovery was made. Uncovered was an 1848 book of poetry written by noted newspaperman Charles Eastman, who, with others, was affiliated with the Vermont (Barre) Patriot. Said paper was well-received in its day; here is an advertisement from the September 15, 1850 edition for the Boston Museum.

Eastman's book of poetry, published in Montpelier, is full of gems, including this wonderful offering.

NOVEMBER

The days we've so long dreaded,

The days of frost and snow,

Of winds that sweep the frozen street,

And whistle as they go-

The days of fickle temperament,

A smile and then a blow!

Of mud and mire and dirtiness,

Again, are ' here below !'

We sit and sneeze and cough in rooms

Insufferably hot,

And tumble over old accounts

Were never worth a groat!

And looking from the window,

Into our neighbor's lot,

We really argue if 'twere best

To steal his sheep or not!

The vines, frost-bitten, from the eaves

Hang blackening in the rain,

And trickling drops, like silent tears,

All day the windows stain;

The leaves are gone, the dead weed-stalks

Grow black upon the plain,

And herds are lowing in the fields

Where stood the gathered grain.

All day you hear the noisy crow

Upon the hemlock high-

In flocks, about the mountain ash,

The chirping robins fly;

The rustling leaves and yellow, drive

In mimic whirlwinds by,

Or on the wet and muddy walks,

In heaps, together lie.

The dripping of the rain is heard

Upon the roof all night,

And dark and heavy clouds obscure

The early morning's light;

We gape and stretch and feel as dull

As our grandmother's sight,

' Some ' older than Methuselah,

And cross enough to bite!

That summer's gone, and gone for good,

'Tis useless to protest,

When all the hills that you can see

In snowy caps are dressed;

When fogs upon the valley

From morn till evening rest,

And in his journey scarce the sun

Is seen from east to west.

Alas! these days of dumps and of

Interminable rains,

Of overcoats and overshoes,

And 'pothecary grains-

Of drops for coughs, and slops for colds,

From catnip tea to Swayne's,

Make the effort to survive appear

A questionable pains!

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

Brought a conversion van to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday and was able to lay down and get a full 8 hours of sleep while waiting. The light turned green just as I got back in the driver's seat!

HUM DINGERS 11-11-10

2010-11-11T10:17:00.000-05:00

RAFTHOLES
Let's hop on a raft on a cold,blustery November day, get thrown around by six foot waves, bash into some cliffs, endanger lives of ourselves, animals and rescue personnel, and call it a day. Or night.

DRINKING A LITTLE RADIOACTIVE WATER BUILDS CHARACTER
Another leak at VY/Entergy La, this time just a dribbling of RADIOACTIVE WATER!
Question: Would you rather be a Chilean miner or be a Vermont Yankee Spokesman?

In New York, the Knolls Atomic Power Laboratory discharged hundreds of gallons of radioactive water into the Hudson River last month. Officials said it was not a public health concern. Oh, okay - I feel better now.

CRUISE SHIP "SURVIVORS" FED POP TARTS
You know what? Tow that cruise ship with its poor, bedraggled passengers over to Haiti and give the medicine, canned crabmeat, bottled water and other foodstuffs to the people that really need it - the cholera victims.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Dilemma at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. We were stuck behind a dump truck with a big sign on the tailgate stating CONSTRUCTION VEHICLE - DO NOT FOLLOW. Yikes! What do we do? If we can't follow it, do we have to turn around? If we follow it, will we be arrested? And who made the rules about not being to follow this truck?

By the time the light changed, the sign on the truck had weathered and was unreadable so we didn't have to worry.

Friday 11-05-10

2010-11-05T12:19:00.000-04:00

WE ARE BACK! Vermont Hum, consistently ranked as one of the top ten influential Vermont pol blogs in 2008 and 2009, has risen from the e-dead. Let us get started.

Hum from the streets of Essex Junction.
IGNORANCE IS BLISS - Where is Dubie CM Corey Bliss now? Has he gone back to Maryland or Virginia or Utah or wherever it is he came from? Whether he ruins a campaign or not, he still gets paid, right?
HOW TO RUIN A REPUTATION AND LOSE A RACE FOR GOVERNOR
Folks in Essex still shaking their collective heads over the puzzling and extraordinarily misguided strategy which morphed aw shucks good guy Brian Dubie into Mister Negative, sinking a good chance at retaining the governorship for Repubs.
It will be interesting to see campaign tactics in 2012.
GOVERNOR TARRANT IN 2012?
Someone on the street mentioned it yeasterday, but where did they hear it from?

WYOMING AND WEST VIRGINIA TOPS IN CHEW
Those two states use more chaw than any other. Wait a minute! Where's Mississippi on that list? Did they go down? How accurate are these figures? Yahoo news breaking story.

GIBBS BACK ON GOV DOUGLAS STAFF
Sec State loser Jason Gibbs back on Gentleman Jim's roster 'til January, making 1500 a week. Hold on! Aren't we supposed to be CUTTING!
From Vermont Buzz

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

Got really bored at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning so I left my car and started talking to other idlers. We came up with a great idea!

Why not Five Corners voting?

With people stuck at the intersection for hours with little to do, why not take a cue from Williston and have voting done right from the window. Maybe Essex officials could spice it up and deliver ballots on roller skates, just like the old A&W carhops. And after we vote, we get a free root beer. Yeah!

JULY 16, 2010

2010-07-16T22:29:00.002-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was wild. I was waiting at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning with nothing to do. Suddenly, this giant balloon floated over my car and stopped.
The balloon guy in the basket yelled down: "Hey, aren't you sick of waiting for that stupid light."
I leaned out the window and yelled, " Normally, no. But today I forgot to bring a movie or some books."
He then asked me if I wanted a ride and I nodded my consent.
Before I knew it he had lowered two adjacent G-613 tungsten steel car clamps and attached them to my frame. In less than a minute I was rising up over the red light, waving goodbye to all my pals at the intersection.
Up through the clouds we soared until we reached a special cloud where all the runaway balloons go. Millions of balloons moved gently to the ethereal whisperings of the stratospheric breezes. Each of the balloons had an inexact facial feature, yet it was not indistinct. I felt like I had seen these balloons before, but could not understand how or remember when.
Suddenly, I woke up and I was back at the Five Corners, spewing ob-noxious fumes along with approximately. 36 other vehicle owners. Had I really been dreaming? I don't know. Maybe never will.

JULY 10, 2010. TOMORROW IS JULY 11.

2010-07-10T23:33:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

Crazy Friday at the Essex Junction Five Corners.
All sorts of tourists idling away, probably wondering when the gosh darn light was going to change.

I knew better. After I crept up to my waiting place in line, I placed the beast in park, got out and strolled over to the brand new Essex Junction Farmer's Market.

What a great time I had. First, I grabbed a quick cold one from Murray's Tavern, just to cool off a bit. Then, feeling famished, I sampled veggies and sweets from the vendors. Finally, I stopped into the Brownell Library and read, cover to cover, the latest (maybe it's not his latest, 2009) from Michael Pollan, entitled 'Food Rules', which was hilarious and startling all at once. Here's three gems from the book:
" Don't eat breakfast cereals that change the color of the milk."
" Eat animals that have themselves eaten well."
" It's not food if it's called by the same name in every language. (Think Big Mac, Cheetos, or Pringles.)

Anyway, when I arrived back at the Five Corners, I sensed that my lane was up next. I slipped into my vehicle, the light turned green, and I was on my way. A well spent couple of hours. Ahhh.

YOU ARE RIGHT! IT IS JULY 3, 2010

2010-07-02T23:30:00.000-04:00

MERWIN THE MAGNIFICENT (OUR BRAND NEW POET LAUREATE)

Separation

by W. S. Merwin

Your absence has gone through me

Like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color.

JUNE TWO FIVE

2010-06-25T23:33:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Brought my clean laundry to the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday and had a folding party. I threw on the CD, VERMONT SONGS, with Marty Morrissey and Robert Resnick, opened the Fritos and proceeded the fold and organize 26 loads of clothes. The light turned green just as I finished finding the mate to that last pesky sock. It was perfect!

JUNE 25th, MY FRIENDS

2010-06-25T23:22:00.003-04:00

JUNE 14, 2010 IT IS.

2010-06-14T12:26:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Interminable wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday, a wait so long, in fact, that our daily need for bowel cleansing surfaced while we were idling, which led us to ask a question we should have asked years ago - WHY IS THERE NOT A STINKING PORT-O-LET AT THE FIVE CORNERS ? SHOULD WE KEEP COLOSTOMY BAGS IN OUR CARS AND TRUCKS?

IT IS JUNE 5th, 2010

2010-06-05T22:13:00.001-04:00

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In the Next Galaxy

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Things will be different.
No one will lose their sight,
their hearing, their gallbladder.
It will be all Catskills with brand
new wrap-around verandas.
The idea of Hitler will not
have vibrated yet.
While back here,
they are still cleaning out
pockets of wrinkled
Nazis hiding in Argentina.
But in the next galaxy,
certain planets will have true
blue skies and drinking water.

Ruth Stone

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was bumper sticker heaven at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. The car in front of me had one that read, Tailgaiters Buy My Cars, while the car up ahead in the right lane had a message stating, Your Little Princess is My Little Whore. The lady in the first vehicle looked to be a cigarette afficionado, and the gentleman driving the rusty princess whore vehicle looked, well, undereducated.
There were also numerous trucks with numbers on them, presumably carrying drivers who just can't get enough Nascar in their lives. Those drivers also looked, well, undereducated. But macho.
The best bumper sticker simply said, Breathe Deeply, which is not a good idea at the Five Corners, or as I lovingly call it, Idler's Cove. But I breathed deeply anyway, and felt better for it.

YES. IT'S MAY 24th,2010

2010-05-24T10:18:00.001-04:00

AHHH. MILTON IN THE SPRINGTIME.

On May Morning
by John Milton

Now the bright morning Star, Day's harbinger,
Comes dancing from the East, and leads with her
The Flowery May, who from her green lap throws
The yellow Cowslip, and the pale Primrose.
Hail bounteous May that dost inspire
Mirth and youth, and warm desire,
Woods and Groves, are of thy dressing,
Hill and Dale, doth boast thy blessing.
Thus we salute thee with our early Song,
And welcome thee, and wish thee long.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday and my car died. Sensing it was a major engine problem, and knowing I had oodles of time, I jacked the car up, put a pulley on the motor, extracted it from the housing, and went about my business trying to fix the darn thing. I was about halfway finished when...THE LIGHT CHANGED!
So I waved at the motorists behind me to go around and kept working. Luckily, I was able to make the necessary repairs before the next light turned green, and everything was hunky dory.
Maybe an out of work mechanic could hang around the Five Corners and make some extra cash working on cars! Why not.

WE BELIEVE IT IS MAY 15, 2010

2010-05-15T00:28:00.002-04:00

MONTREAL CANADIENS AMAZING. BOSTON BRUINS CHOKING STINKING RING-TAILED LOSERS.
We were paid 16 dollars by Eddie to write and publish that headline.

VPR PLEDGE DRIVE BLUES

What a killer tune that would be, eh?

My baby, yeah, she threw me out
couldn't stand to hear that pledge drive no more
I told her it be over soon
but my baby said it's over now... (guitar riff)

So anyway - is that pledge drive on VPR longer than usual or is it just me? If they don't watch out, it's gonna bleed into the next one...in October! You'd think with all the thinkers they got in that building, they could come up with a more creative way to raise the coin, instead of bugging these poor loyal listeners who have already shelled out dime after dime, year after year. Doesn't make much sense to this old hedgehog.
I told one cult member,er, staffer, that I'd give ONLY if all the salaries of VPR personnel were posted on the website. Ain't seen it yet.

SHINY HAPPY BALANCED BUDGET

Yeah! The Vermont budget became magically balanced. Our thoughts:
1. Gov Smoothie/Hardball came out smelling pretty sweet. Such influence for a 'lame duckie'. Gentle Jim knew the Dem leadership had to soften the process; because most of them are running for higher office, they needed to show us Vermonters that they could get the freaking job done without a bunch of turbulence. As Graffu said on CAX, "they needed to show they could govern." We call political expert Chris Graff "Graffu", because that's a combo of Graff and guru. Most of what he says is right on, most of the time.

2. In order to fully understand how the budget was balanced, Vermont Hum is going to have to bring in an accountant, translator, PR consultant, rolfer, and Psychic Nan O'Brien, so it'll be a while before we can give you a structured, detailed, succinct analysis. In the meantime - how about those Habs.

3. Someone wrote the Free Press suggesting that the individuals running for Governor are the ones responsible for the current mess. Hmmm.

ADDISON COUNTY HAS A ROLLER DERBY TEAM

This is why we just love the Addison County Independent. Where else, my friends, where else?

MAY THE 11TH, 2010

2010-05-10T17:24:00.000-04:00

LOCAL VOCAL
Lots of chatter about 'buy local' lately. Hope this helps.

THE NEGATIVES

Many people don't care about buying local because they feel more comfortable browsing at a larger chain store. Case in point. A gal we know believes in keeping it local - except for books. When she wants to shop for books she loves Barnes & Noble 'cuz she can slip in relatively unnoticed and browse to her heart's content without being watched or bothered. She says shopping at a small bookseller is a nervous experience; almost like the clerk is waiting for her.
Buying local doesn't necessarily mean the money one spends is put to good use. What if Jane Doe believes in buying local and has her hair done by an independent hair cutter, who then takes Jane's money and buys crack. Who knows? At least spending money with a large corporation ensures that your money is looked at more judiciously, Enron, Tyco etc. notwithstanding.
Scores of purchasers are only looking out for themselves and could care less about the 'big picture'. They just want the best price, period.

THE POSITIVES

Buying local, especially if the money chain goes unbroken, as with Vermont Bread, increases community spirit and keeps the dough in the hands of like- minded souls.
A sense of greater control. Jane Doe buys from Payless and she has no clue where that money ends up. She buys from a shoe store in Burlington, she has a pretty good idea where the money might go.
Let's say Jane buys a toy from Learning Express. She feels she is getting a quality item and she also likes the fact that the toy was made in Vermont, or Ohio, not a piece of junk made in China sold by any one of the ubiquitious Williston box stores. That means something to her.

We have many more positives but we have to get going. (to the Five Corners)

RACE TO THE GRAVE

Thunder Road opened yesterday and record cigarette sales were reported in the Barre area, although it was reported, still unsubstantiated, that there was a woman seen in the racetrack area without a butt dangling from her mouth. We're still working on this story.

BRONX BOMBER BABBLE
Have you listened to a Yanks game on the radio lately? My God, there is sponsor for everything!
Announcer: " That last strikeout was sponsored by Foxwoods".
Announcer: " The pitching change is brought to you by Ford."
Susan: " John Sterling's bathroom break was brought to you by Scott toilet paper."
Of course, the greedy corporate bean counters figured out long ago that they could make money during the play by play by insidiously slipping in sponsorships and quick branding, such as " We're coming to you tonight from the Lowe's broadcast booth ", or " Posada holds on to the ball, so we're going to give him the Allstate Good Hands award." but these days the 'sponsorships' have been taken to a different level.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATENeed a petition signed? The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to go. There is a passive crowd there just waiting for something to do - or sign. With the light taking about 45 minutes to change, just think how many signatures one could get walking from car to car. In fact, maybe aspiring politicians could stand in the middle of the intersection and give speeches, and cars could honk if they didn't like what they were hearing!

APRIL THE 28TH, 2010

2010-04-28T16:31:00.000-04:00

FREEP HEAVY SMOKES DUBIE

In a smoldering report from the road, BFP heavyweight Mike Townsend noticed a few early Brian Dubie Governor lawn signs, and proceeded to point out that the Dems had zero signs, and Dubes was " the Sarah Palin of the 2010 campaign for Vermont Governor." WHOOOEEE!
Check out the lambasting here.
Note - The Headline is different online than the print edition.

Five Corners Update
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners just as the light went red. Dang!
I started to hunker down for a long nap when...SHAZAM! I heard something very interesting on the radio. They were saying we can all go to our town offices and look at everyone's property tax rebate data. Natch!
It seems that because of the prebate funds going to the town and property tax records being public stuff, we can go find out, with some simple math, what everyone makes. Nice!

So I got out of the car and went to the town office, 'cuz I wanted to know what Hal down the street brought home for payola. Wow! He's doin' okay! Time to hit him up for a loan!

Anyway, it was a fine time figuring out all the earnings in Essex, but before I knew it, two hours had passed, Yikes! I had to back to the car! What if the light changed? Naw. Didn't have to worry about that!

Nude Taser Tag in Brattleboro
Bill in Burlington said he had the worst dream the other night.
He was walking, naked, down the street in Brattleboro when a police officer ran up and told him that public nudity was outlawed. When poor Bill protested, the cop tasered him - right on the peepee!! Ouch!
Bill said he woke up sweating. Don't blame him.

THE 23RD OF APRIL, 2010

2010-04-23T14:43:00.000-04:00

NH STATE LIQUOR COMMISSIONER CHARGED WITH DUI

Even the Hum is speechless on this one. Here's Yahoo News.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

Had a sleepover at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light last night. Arrived around 7 p.m., sensing it was going to be a long wait. So we got in our jammies, opened the bag of unshelled peanuts, and threw Caddyshack into the portable DVD player. Don't you love that movie? We think Rodney Dangerfield's death should have been a national day of mourning.
Anyway, when the light changed the next morning, we drove off, leaving the intersection strewn with peanut shells, or as they call them in Georgia - mulch!

THE 16TH OF APRIL, 2010

2010-04-16T21:36:00.003-04:00

AVERAGE HARLEY 10 TIMES LOUDER THAN F-35

When detractors claimed that the new F-35s were twice as loud as the F-16s, we almost pooped our sweatpants. Try coming over to Essex Junction on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, in early spring, when the Forsythias are yellow yellow. We can't even hear the jets overhead - the Harleys are drowning them out! At least the jets make a ton of noise for a reason, something having to do with umm... protecting us!

We've been following the back and forth between noise activists and the Vermont Air Guard and anxiously awaited the results of the big Thursday pow-wow between civic leaders and the military.
Lots of coverage by the local media; we found the BFP and Joel Banner Baird to have the goods. Don't forget to read the comments at the end of the Free Press article.

BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS
Dandelions spotted; old men with nothing to do now have something to do!

STATE PORN BLOCKING INITIATIVE MIGHT RECEIVE LIMP RESPONSE

With all the various pornography, sports, social media and gambling sites on the internet, it's amazing that anyone who works in an office gets anything done. The State of Vermont is grappling with such a dilemma; what to do about workers who are spending too much time viewing inappropriate material.
Strapping filters on state rigs is expected to run from 100k to 150k, which could prove prohibitive in the present fiscal environment.
We've got a few suggestions:

Reverse pyschology - Tell employees that porn viewing is okay, even encouraged (employee well-being), IF all expected work for the day is completed in a timely and competent manner.
Make a dramatic announcement that state-of-the-art computer filters have been installed, when actually zero action has taken place. If people wonder where the money came from for the software, tell them Bill Gates chipped in. It would be bluff central.
Have a bank of computers in the break room; five would have 24/7 porn, three would offer ESPN.com, seven would generously allow gambling access, and yet another would feature BetterHomesandGardens.com. Transparency.
Create a 15 minute period every 4 hours, where all workers are implored to relax and take "porn breaks", thereby evening the playing field and blowing off steam, as it were.

HOW COME MY SAT PROVIDER DOESN'T OFFER A TIGER WOODS CHANNEL ?

Williston Observer with a funny cartoon in April 15 edition.
TV news reporter out on city street with asteroids falling all around, with the caption, "But First, the Latest On Tiger."
We tried to find the cartoon on The Observer website, but failed. So you'll have to drive to Williston and pick up a copy. What the heck. While you're at it, stop and hit some balls. In the rain.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
We waited for so long at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday that a local cop came along and arrested us for loitering! When I tried to explain that I was waiting for the light to change, the cop just laughed and said," That's life in the Junction, Baby!"

THE 9TH OF APRIL , 2010

2010-04-09T11:54:00.005-04:00

GOVERNOR DOUGLAS STEAMED AT LEGISLATIVE LEADERS; THREATENS TO JOIN TALIBAN

* Okay, we made up the part about Gentle Jim joining the Taliban - but he is ripped at the Senate for holding up a jobs bill that Douglas expected to push through in late January or early Feb. Concerns about the Vermont Telecommunications Authority, not Burlington Telecom, is grinding the process to a crawl, but leaders are saying the vote is right around the corner.

SIGN OF THE CROSS
* Burlington has finally hired a budget analyst, as if they need one. LOL LOL LOL LOL...
The lucky dog is George Cross, former Dem state rep and school superintendent. Anonymous sources say the search was narrowed to Cross, Alan Greenspan, and the former Isle La Motte town clerk, with GC getting the nod.

VPR BIASED ?

* Is Vermont Public Radio biased toward the Red Sox? Whether it's Mitch Wakelieb talking about the Sox, or the one that writes the newsletter (always forget her name - let's call her Youkette) writing that she's a fan, OR, the station sponsoring yearly trips to Fenway, it's clearly evident there's a leaning toward the left - of New York, that is. Facing south.
We would bet 17 million Burlington Telecom dollars that VPR's listenership are/is 30-50% Yankee fans, who probably give some of their cold hard cash to various station fundraisers. Hmmm.
By the way, have you checked out the price of the trip to Fenway, which includes a ticket, bus ride, VPR sticker, Deb Markowitz bobblehead(just a rumor)and a complimentary tour of the park. It's only $275! No, not $75. $275. Ouch! Let's see. $50 for the seat, $50 for the bus... oh, never mind.

BILL S.88 (HEALTHY VERMONT) PASSES SENATE

VT WORKERS CENTER ORGANIZERS SO HAPPY THEY ALMOST PEED THEIR PANTS!

* Note to Vermont Workers Center
Get some names on your website. More cred will be attained if there is some individual branding. When one scopes the site, one sees many good things, but zero contact names. Don't hide. You're doing good work. Let the folks who are unfamiliar with your org know who you are.

(Press release from Vermont Workers Center)
Montpelier - On Wednesday, April 7, the Vermont Senate passed S.88 by an overwhelming majority of 28-2. Passage of this bill by the Senate is a major step toward recognizing the human right to healthcare in Vermont and is an important victory for the "Healthcare Is A Human Right" Campaign. The bill calls for the hiring of consultants to design three health care models, one of which must be a single payer system that is administered by government, publicly financed and decoupled from employment. All three of the models must meet the Healthcare is a Human Right principles of universal access and coverage, be comprehensive and affordable, be transparent in design and must ensure public participation in the design, implementation, evaluation, and accountability. The designs also have to include implementation timelines beginning no later than July, 2012.
"This vote in the Senate is a huge victory for us. When we started this campaign, across the board Statehouse insiders this couldn't be done. But as a result of this campaign and the voices of thousands of Vermonters telling them that Vermont should lead the nation in making healthcare a public good for all, we are changing what is possible," said Walter Carpenter, who lives in Montpelier and volunteered with the campaign after struggles with the healthcare system that brought him near death as result of insurance companies denied coverage for care. "
The Healthcare is a Human Right Campaign started building a grassroots network to change what was "politically possible" in healthcare reform in 2008. THis past Fall they held eleven People's Forums on Healthcare with almost eighty state legislators and over eight hundred total participants testifying to the healthcare crisis in communities acoss the state and laying out principles that comprise the right to healthcare. The improved S.88 "Healthy Vermont" Bill adopted languages and frameworks that include these principles.
"We thank our Senators for their votes, and now look to their fellow legislators in the House to do the right thing" says Peg Franzen, Policy Committee Chair for the Campaign. The Campaign is currently gearing up for a huge May 1st Rally at the Statehouse, which has been billed as the largest rally of its kind in Vermont's history. The main purpose of the rally is to celebrate the Campaign's achievements so far, to keep building the momentum for universal single-payer healthcare, and to keep the pressure on the House of Representatives.
For a full analysis of the just-passed S88 and more information on the campaign, please visit the Campaign's website at www.workerscenter.org/healthcare. The "Healthcare Is A Human Right" Campaign also has local leaders and organizers spread throughout the state in every community and they are available for interviews by any news organization.

MORE INFO:
- Seven Days coverage of "We-Ain't-No-Fools-Day" http://7d.blogs.com/blurt/2010/04/health-care-reform-in-vermont-on-life-support.html
Also see. www.nofools.org
- New short 9 minute film released on the Healthcare Is A Human Right Campaign, "If Vermont Leads, The Rest of the Nation Will Follow". www.workerscenter.org/movie
- Healthcare Is A Human Right Campaign website: including frequently asked questions, analysis of federal and state health bills and much more. www.workerscenter.org/healthcare
- "Sen. Racine unveils health bill; Goal is universal coverage in Vermont" Times Argus/Rutland Herald. http://www.timesargus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100310/NEWS02/310...
- "VT. health reform tops January Agenda" VT Press Bureau http://www.timesargus.com/article/RH/20091214/NEWS03/912140360
- "To Your Health" 12/22/09 Seven Days column by Shay Totten http://www.7dvt.com/2009your-health
- Dec 10: Human Rights Day Report with Nurses & Sen. Racine: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/190
- Sen. Racine Announces Hearings on S.88/H.100: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/185
- Rutland Herald Editorial endorses HCHR Campaign: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/138
- Musicians launch benefit CD for HCHR Campaign: http://vermontcareforall.org/
- VPR's All Things Considered with Scott Ainslie, musician and HCHR leader. Link to listen http://www.vpr.net/flash/audio_player/audio_player.php?id=29863
- Dec 5: The Vermont NEA, the State's Largest Union Gets Behind HCHR Campaign http://www.workerscenter.org/node/189
- Healthcare Is A Human Right Campaign: www.workerscenter.org/healthcare
- Summary of bills S.88/H.100: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/168
- Burlington Free Press My Turn "Vermont Must Lead The Way" http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20091202/OPINION02/912020315/...
- Vermont Public Radio Report on HCHR: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/134

HALFWIT OF THE MONTH

* Dude from Massachusetts on his way to Springfield, Vt jail to serve time for DUI. Arrives at the correctional facility, hammered, and admits he drove himself there. Prison official gets on the horn, calls police and dude gets processed for second deewee. Please excuse me while I look at the wall and shake my head in utter disbelief.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
* Arrived at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday around noon. A thought popped in my noggin. "I'm hungry, I'm craving a grinder, Martone's is right there, and the I'll be idling for over an hour waiting for this stupid light to turn green." So I put the car in park, went and got the grinder and had a fabulous lunch skimming the latest copy of the North Avenue News. You know, I think the Five Corners is quickly becoming one of my favorite destinations.!

WEEKLY MEDIA REVIEW (3-28-2010)

2010-03-27T18:39:00.000-04:00

HUM HOT SHEET

1. DUBIE ELECTED GOVERNOR
If the Rasmussen report's prediction comes true, that's what will happen. The Rasmussen Reports Election 2010 survey also slams Dem Peter Shumlin , his very unfavorably numbers are downright embarrassing. Of course, some folks think the RR leans right of center, according to Tom Kearney on VPT's Vermont This Week.
Here are the results right from the horse's mouth.

2. HOCUS POCUS NEXUS ELEXUS ENTERGY NIXED
New York Public Service Commission determined that six nuke plants being doled off to a sep company would not be cool, or not in the public interest, to put it more qualitatively. Besides, the regulators are worried that the spin-off could have problemo dinero, and guess who gets stuck with the tab, beloved?
We think the Brattleboro Reformer had the best article on the whole stinking mess.

3. THIEF ASKS INVESTIGATING OFFICER FOR DIRECTIONS
One of the reasons we love the Caledonian-Record.

4. BURLINGTON TELECON FINDS 386,000 UNDER COUCH CUSHIONS
We heard the loan payment cash came from a Citicredit Leasing escrow account, but one of our intrepid reporters thought he saw the BT staff looking under furniture for loose change. Let's just agree to disagree.
Anyway, Burlington Telecon is safe until what, June, when they have to cough up more dough to the loan dogs.

5. FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was so cold at the Essex Junction Five Corners this morning, the lights malfunctioned and were all stuck on green. It was great.

Imagine a giant version of bumper cars.
Soon frenzied motorists were going after other frenzied motorists, or going to assist less fortunate participants in the impromptu Five Corners Derby.
We saw a pack of Hondas going after a Hummer, finally locking it in a death embrace while a hybrid screamed over and flattened the evil gas guzzler's tires.
Also noticed a Chevy pickup chasing a Ford, catching it and ripping off the 'Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Chevys' bumper sticker. Things were chaotic !
We sat stunned as a sidewalk plow and a old Fiesta tangled, with the sidewalk plow getting the best of it.
An SUV and a Dodge Caravan mixed it up, with the crusty old Caravan holding its own.

It was so cold in our car, words froze in the air! If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire.

Oh, how we long for warmer days at the Five Corners; we're getting sick of having to warm our toes on the exhaust pipe of the vehicle directly in front of us.
Ah, summer at the intersection. The smell of warm exhaust, picnicking on the hood of our car, playing hackysack with some of the younger idlers.

Shoot, we can dream, can't we?

MARCH 2010 HUM

2010-03-12T22:35:00.002-05:00

BUMPER SNICKERS SEEN IN VERMONT
SEEN A GOOD ONE LATELY ? LET US KNOW.

If The World Didn't Suck, We'd All Fall Off!

Gardeners Do It In The Dirt

A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Well, Night

Atheism Is A Non-prophet Organization

Get Off My Ass Before I Start To Like It

Tarrant

Don't Jersey Vermont

Don't Make Me Come Down There - God

Vermont: Yep

VERMONT HUM REMINISCES. HERE'S THE VERY FIRST POST, DATED MARCH 18, 2006.

MAPLE SYRUP HOT FLASH
Please don't be scared away,beloved, by all the chatter regarding an iffy crop of maple syrup this year. We just purchased a half gallon from Palmer's Sugarhouse in Shelburne and it was extra yummy on our blueberry pancakes.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, LADS AND LASSIES
Seamus and Paddy were getting ready to go on a camping trip.
Seamus says," I'm taking along a gallon of whiskey, just in case of rattlesnake bites. What are you taking?"
Paddy says,"Two rattlesnakes!"

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light just as a train was blowing through town. Oh, great! Twice the wait. Four hours instead of two.
So I left the van boxed in at the intersection, walked home and fired up my second car, an old beaut I've named Betty. She's an old Buick, tough as nails with a tender soul. Just my type.
Betty and I tooled around town, did errands, even caught lunch at Joyce's Noodle House at the Essex Outlet Fair. I think it was Joyce herself who took my order. Nice smile.
After a few hours, Betty looked tired so I guided her back to the homestead. She seemed grateful to have been able to stretch her legs, er, ball joints. I kissed her hood, and walked off quietly, feeling at peace with the Junction.
I walked back to the Five Corners, got in the van, and only had to wait about 20 minutes for the light to finally change. It was a nice day.

The lesson here is this: If you're stuck at the Five Corners with no end in sight, simply leave your car and go get another one. Do what you have to do and then go back to the light and retrieve your first car. It's really not so bad!

WEEKLY HUM (Friday, Feb 5, 2010)

2010-02-06T17:24:00.003-05:00

JERSEY MAN SHOOTS SIGN
A sign in Northfield was pelted by a man from Jersey. There is no indication that the sign provoked the attack and officials are quite sure that sign hunting season has passed. Times-Argus has more for you.

COLUMNIST STRUGGLES TO FIND IDEA FOR COLUMN
Ends up slamming Fox.
Bennington Banner

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
The darn light took so long to change yesterday at the Essex Junction Five Corners we were able to order Domino's AND have it delivered to our car! We then polished off the whole thing and were about to chomp the wings when the stinking light turned green. Rats!
CAN'T THEY MAKE THAT LIGHT LONGER!!!

WEEKLY HUM (1-29-10) We follow the action - and the media!

2010-01-29T09:24:00.030-05:00

GIANT SINKHOLE SWALLOWS VERMONT YANKEE
Yeah. You wish.
One day a pipe's leaking Tritium - the next day it's not. Trying to keep up with Vermont Yankee/Entergy/Enoxus/Enoughofus is like trying to keep up with Red Sox shortstops.
Anyway, here's the latest from the BFP, which probably has the best nuke coverage in this great state of ours.
Oh - isn't Tritium one of the ingredients in those Little Debbie Star Crunch snacks. Maybe not.

DRUNKEN BUS DRIVER WAS NOT TEXTING!
According to unreliable sources, the bus driver who took the MMU hockey team for a ride was definitely not texting. Drunk, yes. Texting, no.
In case you missed this recent story, here is WCAX with the scoop and also a picture of a Mount Mansfield bus.
Oh - did you see the beleagured superintendent Jim Massingham try to explain why dude was hired? Looked a little like embattled Tres Sec Tim Geithner.

REPUBLICANS, ER, HACKERS HIT WELCHWEB, 20 OTHERS; F WORD DROPPED
Computer hackers called the Red Eye Crew claimed responsibility for the electronic intrusion. We joked about Repubs, but the hackers actually slammed right AND left. To see an actual compromised site, visit the Raw Story.

WILLISTON SELECTBOARD, COPS, DUKE IT OUT
Cop writes guest column in Williston Observer, regarding selectboard's aversion to adding an officer. Actually, not adding an officer, but eliminating one vacant patrol position. Selectboard writes guest column, talking smack. Fun stuff. Here are some snappy quotes from latter's column:

"It is important to understand that the officers could have saved the position but chose not to."
"While it is clear the officers are unhappy with the board's decision, they use inaccurate numbers to support their position."
"Finally, Detective Lavoie lists things that will possibly be cut. This is not the prerogative of the police union but rather a management and/or policy decision."

Ouch. I'd hate to be a Williston selectboard member speeding through town with an officer around.
To read the guest column in full, go to one of our favorite weeklies, the Williston Observer.

WILL BRANDON GET A HANNAFORD'S OR NOT?
When asked about a supermarket entering the Brandon arena, a Burlington streetwalker remarked, "Where's Brandon?"
For the very best story on the big deal, here comes the Rutland Herald.

CALEDONIAN-RECORD BLASTS DEMOCRATIC IDLERS
Kingdom paper takes on individuals in "liberal la-la land".
Drop everything and read it now!

Five Corners Update
We were stuck at the Essex Junction Five Corners light facing south. After napping for a while, we woke and noticed a beautiful thread of light coming from...heaven?
After rubbing our eyes, we realized the light stream was not from heaven - it was from Bolton Valley!
What a wonderful display. Here is a local ski area - trying like HELL to secure local biz, with great specials and community involvement - AND a great light show. More power to you, dogs.
We hope you shine on for many years to come.

Week in Vermont (01-18-10)

2010-01-20T15:09:00.004-05:00

4 HUMDINGERS
We scan the media for you

Brattleboro Reformer, Bennington Banner in trouble?
Funny, we had to go to the Rutland Herald for the scoop.

Shumlin arrogant?
Caledonian-Record 'splains why.

Free Press with snappy new site.
See it here.

Full text of Gentleman Jim's budget address
God love the Addison county Independent!

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Interminable wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners light this morning. We achieved a boredom level rarely felt, and decided to pass the time reading food labels from groceries tucked inside our Mac's Market bag. One item we pulled out was a can of Campbell's Select Split Pea soup.
By the way - why is it always SPLIT PEA?! What are the other alternatives?
Anyway - get this. If you eat the entire can, you will ingest approximately (God, is that a ridiculously hard word to spell) 1700 mgs of sodium, practically the day's alotment put out by the FDA and the FBI. Insane. Remind me to e-mail Campbell's.

Week In Vermont (1-11-10)

2010-01-10T14:54:00.033-05:00

8 HUMDINGERS
WE SCAN THE MEDIA FOR YOU
-------------------------------------------------------------
-FINAL CHAPTER ? - Swanton librarian fired; library closed - The Messenger delivers

-WAS THIS MORRISVILLE'S LAST NIGHT'S LAST NIGHT? - From the News & Citizen

-PURPLE HEART-LESS; Auto repair shop scammed by fake purple heart recipient

-CHAMPLAIN BRIDGE TOLL ? - story from BFP

-GENTLEMAN JIM'S LAST 'STATE'; Argus gives good coverage

-STOWE MOUNTAIN RESORT SOLD; Inside scoop from Stowe Reporter

-THE WHOLE ATV THING; Rutland Herald With Good Piece

-ROBERT FROST SPEAKS IN MANCHESTER! See Manchester Journal for story

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
The darn light took so long to change yesterday at the Essex Junction Five Corners we were able to order Domino's AND have it delivered to our car! We then polished off the whole thing and were about to chomp the wings when the stinking light turned green. Rats!
CAN'T THEY MAKE THAT LIGHT LONGER!!!

12/31/09

2009-12-30T22:18:00.018-05:00

The Hum's top 9 (from media around Vermont)

NOVEMBER 2009

2009-11-27T13:21:00.001-05:00

WHO WAS CHARLES EASTMAN?
Recently, deep in the bowels of the Brownell Library in Essex Junction, a discovery was made. Uncovered was an 1848 book of poetry written by noted newspaperman Charles Eastman, who, with others, was affiliated with the Vermont (Barre) Patriot. Said paper was well-received in its day; here is an advertisement from the September 15, 1850 edition for the Boston Museum.

Eastman's book of poetry, published in Montpelier, is full of gems, including this wonderful offering.

NOVEMBER

The days we've so long dreaded,
The days of frost and snow,
Of winds that sweep the frozen street,
And whistle as they go-
The days of fickle temperament,
A smile and then a blow!
Of mud and mire and dirtiness,
Again, are ' here below !'

We sit and sneeze and cough in rooms
Insufferably hot,
And tumble over old accounts
Were never worth a groat!
And looking from the window,
Into our neighbor's lot,
We really argue if 'twere best
To steal his sheep or not!

The vines, frost-bitten, from the eaves
Hang blackening in the rain,
And trickling drops, like silent tears,
All day the windows stain;
The leaves are gone, the dead weed-stalks
Grow black upon the plain,
And herds are lowing in the fields
Where stood the gathered grain.

All day you hear the noisy crow
Upon the hemlock high-
In flocks, about the mountain ash,
The chirping robins fly;
The rustling leaves and yellow, drive
In mimic whirlwinds by,
Or on the wet and muddy walks,
In heaps, together lie.

The dripping of the rain is heard
Upon the roof all night,
And dark and heavy clouds obscure
The early morning's light;
We gape and stretch and feel as dull
As our grandmother's sight,
' Some ' older than Methuselah,
And cross enough to bite!

That summer's gone, and gone for good,
'Tis useless to protest,
When all the hills that you can see
In snowy caps are dressed;
When fogs upon the valley
From morn till evening rest,
And in his journey scarce the sun
Is seen from east to west.

Alas! these days of dumps and of
Interminable rains,
Of overcoats and overshoes,
And 'pothecary grains-
Of drops for coughs, and slops for colds,
From catnip tea to Swayne's,
Make the effort to survive appear
A questionable pains!

OCTOBER 15, 2009

2009-10-15T08:44:00.002-04:00

Autumn
Autumn, you are the season about loss.
There is sadness as the leaves drop from your trees.
And I crunch them under my feet.
The sound reminding me of the breaking of hearts when relationships end.
Bareness of trees reminding me I'm getting older as another year comes to an end.
And winter approaches with her loneliness.
Poetry Potpouri
copyright 2000

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Dilemma at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. We were stuck behind a dump truck with a big sign on the tailgate stating CONSTRUCTION VEHICLE - DO NOT FOLLOW. Yikes! What do we do? If we can't follow it, do we have to turn around? If we follow it, will we be arrested? And who made the rules about not being to follow this truck?
By the time the light changed, the sign on the truck had weathered and was unreadable so we didn't have to worry. Thank God, 'cuz it was just too much to think about on a Sunday.

August 31, 2009

2009-08-31T10:12:00.000-04:00

What happened to Vermont Transparency... or whatever it was called?

2009-06-08T19:27:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was just like high school at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. A driver started a food fight and before you know it, the fries and burgers and peaches and tacos were flying through the intersection, creating a fun, messy ruckus. All the cars had their windshield wipers on and their windows rolled up. When the light turned green a couple of hours later, we all headed for the car wash. Just another crazy day at the Five Corners!

2009-04-16T20:14:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE - Essential Collection
Long wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning. I had time to get out of the car, walk over to the senior center, play a couple games of cribbage with the ladies before I had to back to the idling. It was a good break.

2008-12-10T08:55:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light just as a train was blowing through town. Oh, great! Twice the wait. Four hours instead of two.
So I left the van boxed in at the intersection, walked home and fired up my second car, an old beaut I've named Betty. She's an old Buick, tough as nails with a tender soul. Just my type.
Betty and I tooled around town, did errands, even caught lunch at Joyce's Noodle House at the Essex Outlet Fair. I think it was Joyce herself who took my order. Nice smile.
After a few hours, Betty looked tired so I guided her back to the homestead. She seemed grateful to have been able to stretch her legs, er, ball joints. I kissed her hood, and walked off quietly, feeling at peace with the Junction.
I walked back to the Five Corners, got in the van, and only had to wait about 20 minutes for the light to finally change. It was a nice day.

The lesson here is this: If you're stuck at the Five Corners with no end in sight, simply leave your car and go get another one. Do what you have to do and then go back to the light and retrieve your first car. It's really not so bad!

2008-12-04T11:08:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

I was sitting at the Essex Junction Five Corners waiting for the light to change.
I decided to count the number of idling cars and got to 53 before the light changed and I had to move on. 53 cars with shit spewing out of their tailpipes.
What would Al Gore do?

2008-12-03T08:51:00.000-05:00

2008-12-02T09:00:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Interminable wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday, a wait so long, in fact, that our daily need for bowel cleansing surfaced while we were idling, which led us to ask a question we should have asked years ago - WHY IS THERE NOT A STINKING PORT-O-LET AT THE FIVE CORNERS ? SHOULD WE KEEP COLOSTOMY BAGS IN OUR CARS AND TRUCKS?

2008-12-01T10:01:00.000-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
The darn light took so long to change yesterday at the Essex Junction Five Corners we were able to order Domino's AND have it delivered to our car! We then polished off the whole thing and were about to chomp the wings when the stinking light turned green. Rats!
CAN'T THEY MAKE THAT LIGHT LONGER!!!

2008-11-19T08:52:00.000-05:00

WHO WAS CHARLES EASTMAN?
Recently, deep in the bowels of the Brownell Library in Essex Junction, a discovery was made. Uncovered was an 1848 book of poetry written by noted newspaperman Charles Eastman, who, with others, was affiliated with the Vermont (Barre) Patriot. Said paper was well-received in its day; here is an advertisement from the September 15, 1850 edition for the Boston Museum.

Eastman's book of poetry, published in Montpelier, is full of gems, including this wonderful offering.

NOVEMBER

The days we've so long dreaded,
The days of frost and snow,
Of winds that sweep the frozen street,
And whistle as they go-
The days of fickle temperament,
A smile and then a blow!
Of mud and mire and dirtiness,
Again, are ' here below !'

We sit and sneeze and cough in rooms
Insufferably hot,
And tumble over old accounts
Were never worth a groat!
And looking from the window,
Into our neighbor's lot,
We really argue if 'twere best
To steal his sheep or not!

The vines, frost-bitten, from the eaves
Hang blackening in the rain,
And trickling drops, like silent tears,
All day the windows stain;
The leaves are gone, the dead weed-stalks
Grow black upon the plain,
And herds are lowing in the fields
Where stood the gathered grain.

All day you hear the noisy crow
Upon the hemlock high-
In flocks, about the mountain ash,
The chirping robins fly;
The rustling leaves and yellow, drive
In mimic whirlwinds by,
Or on the wet and muddy walks,
In heaps, together lie.

The dripping of the rain is heard
Upon the roof all night,
And dark and heavy clouds obscure
The early morning's light;
We gape and stretch and feel as dull
As our grandmother's sight,
' Some ' older than Methuselah,
And cross enough to bite!

That summer's gone, and gone for good,
'Tis useless to protest,
When all the hills that you can see
In snowy caps are dressed;
When fogs upon the valley
From morn till evening rest,
And in his journey scarce the sun
Is seen from east to west.

Alas! these days of dumps and of
Interminable rains,
Of overcoats and overshoes,
And 'pothecary grains-
Of drops for coughs, and slops for colds,
From catnip tea to Swayne's,
Make the effort to survive appear
A questionable pains!

2008-11-18T09:01:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
I really didn't feel like driving this morning, so I was glad when the Essex Junction Five Corners light went on interminably. I nestled in the seat and pulled out Howard Coffin's An Inland See from the backseat bookcase. The book, chronicling the Roman Catholic Diocese of Burlington, is actually a fun read, believe it or not. No, I'm serious! For example, did you know that former Bishop John Marshall was a HUGE Boston Red Sox fan. We're talkin' addicted. He loved the Celts, too.
And,of course, a book about the Catholics in Burlington wouldn't be complete without a McClintock in there somewhere, but that's another post.

2008-11-17T09:50:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Dilemma at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. We were stuck behind a dump truck with a big sign on the tailgate stating CONSTRUCTION VEHICLE - DO NOT FOLLOW. Yikes! What do we do? If we can't follow it, do we have to turn around? If we follow it, will we be arrested? And who made the rules about not being to follow this truck?
By the time the light changed, the sign on the truck had weathered and was unreadable so we didn't have to worry. Thank God, 'cuz it was just too much to think about on a Sunday.

2008-11-14T08:51:00.000-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Was able to polish an entire set of Gunucci silverware at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning.
Was not able to sort them back in the tray 'cuz the stupid light changed, which irked me. You know, sometimes that darn light changes too quickly!

2008-11-13T08:34:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to complete your personal hygiene tasks. Why, just yesterday, the light took so long to change I was able to floss, pluck my back hair, cut my toenails AND take a spongebath, all the while watching every episode of The Waltons on my portable DVD player. It was a mighty pleasurable experience.

2008-11-12T09:02:00.000-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Shucks! Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light just as the stupid thing turned yellow. Usually we scream through the yellow (after all, yellow means STEP ON IT!) but this time we came to a stop. Knowing we had time on our hands, we got out the DVD player and threw in...Five Corners! Yes - Five Corners the movie. The one from '87 about a psycho returning to his neighborhood after spending time in the clink. Great cast, with Jodie Foster, Tim Robbins, John Turturro and in a small role, Campbell Scott. It was great seeing the movie again and the light changed just as the credits rolled. It was perfect!

2008-11-11T22:43:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Skidded up to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light and received bad news from a fellow idler. The red light was going to be a long one, he told me, cuz a village official was in a really bad mood and decided to take it out on motorists, programming the light so it would change only every six hours. I shrugged and didn't much care because I had just come from the Brownell Library and was clutching a brand new copy of 'In the Land of the Wild Onion', written by Dummerston's Charles Fish. The book outlines Fish's journey on the Winooski River from Cabot to Lake Champlain. I was able to read the entire book AND walk it back over to library before the six hour light changed. Real relaxing.

2008-11-10T11:26:00.000-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning and was ready to curl up with Robert Kuttner's new book when - SHAZAM! - the light turned green! I was so shocked I keeled over and the much heralded Essex Rescue Squad had to come over and revive me. C'mon - if you got to the Five Corners and the light changed quickly, you'd pass out, too!

2008-11-07T08:46:00.000-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was wild. I was waiting at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning with nothing to do. Suddenly, this giant balloon floated over my car and stopped.
The balloon guy in the basket yelled down: "Hey, aren't you sick of waiting for that stupid light."
I leaned out the window and yelled, " Normally, no. But today I forgot to bring a movie or some books."
He then asked me if I wanted a ride and I nodded my consent.
Before I knew it he had lowered two adjacent G-613 tungsten steel car clamps and attached them to my frame. In less than a minute I was rising up over the red light, waving goodbye to all my pals at the intersection.
Up through the clouds we soared until we reached a special cloud where all the runaway balloons go. Millions of balloons moved gently to the ethereal whisperings of the stratosperic breezes. Each of the balloons had an inexact facial feature, yet it was not indistinct. I felt like I had seen these balloons before, but could not understand how or remember when.
Suddenly, I woke up and I was back at the Five Corners, spewing obnoxious fumes along with approximately 36 other vehicle owners. Had I really been dreaming? I don't know. Maybe never will.

2008-11-06T08:43:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Impromptu entertainment yesterday at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light. The Five Corners Jazz Quartet set up shop at the intersection and people were seen dancing on top of their SUVs.

2008-11-05T15:15:00.000-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got really bored at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning so I left my car and started talking to other idlers. We came up with a great idea!
Why not Five Corners voting?
With people stuck at the intersection for hours with little to do, why not take a cue from Williston and have voting done right from the window. Maybe Essex officials could spice it up and deliver ballots on roller skates, just like the old A&W carhops. And after we vote, we get a free root beer. Yeah!

2008-11-04T08:48:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was bumper sticker heaven at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. The car in front of me had one that read, Tailgaiters Buy My Cars, while the car up ahead in the right lane had a message stating, Your Little Princess is My Little Whore. The lady in the first vehicle looked to be a cigarette afficionado, and the gentleman driving the rusty princess whore vehicle looked, well, undereducated.
There were also numerous trucks with numbers on them, presumably carrying drivers who just can't get enough Nascar in their lives. Those drivers also looked, well, undereducated. But macho.
The best bumper sticker simply said, Breathe Deeply, which is not a good idea at the Five Corners, or as I lovingly call it, Idler's Cove. But I breathed deeply anyway, and felt better for it.

2008-11-03T09:23:00.001-05:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Had a sleepover at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light last night. Arrived around 7 p.m., sensing it was going to be a long wait. So we got in our jammies, opened the bag of unshelled peanuts, and threw Caddyshack into the portable DVD player. Don't you love that movie? We think Rodney Dangerfield's death should have been a national day of mourning.
Anyway, when the light changed the next morning, we drove off, leaving the intersection strewn with peanut shells, or as they call them in Georgia - mulch!

2008-10-31T08:42:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Need a petition signed? The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to go. There is a passive crowd there just waiting for something to do - or sign. With the light taking about 45 minutes to change, just think how many signatures one could get walking from car to car. In fact, maybe aspiring politicians could stand in the middle of the intersection and give speeches, and cars could honk if they didn't like what they were hearing!

2008-10-30T08:37:00.001-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Brought a conversion van to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday and was able to lay down and get a full 8 hours of sleep while waiting. The light turned green just as I got back in the driver's seat!

2008-10-29T20:32:00.001-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
One of our readers suggested a ballpark theme at the Essex Junction Five Corners. Why not have a big screen TV at the intersection with satellite games playing around the clock. Ingenuitive businesspeople could hawk peanuts and popcorn and maybe even a beer vendor...well, maybe not that, 'cuz we'd have to drive when the light changed. Oh, well. Still sounds fun.

2008-10-28T08:33:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Can't get your baby to sleep. Put the papoose in the car and idle up to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light. The sweet, gentle hum of the engine will have the baby sleeping like a, well, baby. And the light takes so long to change, the cute little bugger will sleep for hours, giving Mom or Dad some snooze time, too.

2008-10-27T10:35:00.001-04:00

2008-10-24T10:08:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Arrived at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday around noon. A thought popped in my noggin. "I'm hungry, I'm craving a grinder, Martone's is right there, and the I'll be idling for over an hour waiting for this stupid light to turn green." So I put the car in park, got the grinder and had a fabulous lunch skimming the latest copy of the Essex Reporter. You know, I think the Five Corners is quickly becoming one of my favorite destinations.!

2008-10-23T10:33:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Couldn't wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. I was too busy. So I strapped on a set of rescue lights to the top of car and sailed through unimpeded. It was great!

2008-10-22T08:52:00.001-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday and knew I'd be there a while. So I got out and was able to rotate the tires and have'em all back on just when the light turned green. It was perfect and I felt so productive.

2008-10-21T12:55:00.001-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Really had fun at the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday. Knowing it would be a while before the light turned green, a passenger and I got out the Parcheesi board and played a spirited game. It had been so long since I had played Parcheesi and it felt great. The light changed just as the game ended. Perfect timing!

2008-10-20T11:14:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Was able to do something at the Essex Junction Five Corners light that I have been wanting to do for years. Have you ever seen those ship in a bottle kits they sell at places like Ben Franklin? Well, I had one in the car and figured the Five Corners light was long enough for me to finally finish the project. I did, the ship in the bottle looks great and I was very proud of myself. I want to sincerely thank the officials in Essex for keeping the wait time extra long at the intersection so I have time during the day to finish fun projects like this. Increasingly, I'm finding my stays at the red light in Essex to be very peaceful, a kind of spiritual respite. The end.

2008-10-17T08:45:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
The Essex Junction Five Corners intersection was a hub of activity yesterday. While waiting for the interminably long light to change, we noticed idlers getting a lot done in their vehicles. One guy was printing spreadsheets from his laptop, another was sitting on his hood, with tax forms all over the place. A mom was playing Twister with her daughter; luckily the SUV they were in was large enough to accomodate the game. Along with monitoring the action, we were able to listen to the brand new Chesney CD, in it's entirety.

2008-10-16T08:43:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
The Essex Junction Five Corners intersection is the place to complete your personal hygiene tasks. Yesterday, the light took so long to change I was able to floss, clip my ear hair and take a spongebath, all the while watching SpongeBob on the portable DVD player. I was actually upset when the light turned green 'cuz I didn't get a chance to cut my toenails, but hey, I'll get to that next time.

2008-10-15T08:49:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Long wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning. I had time to get out of the car, walk over to the senior center, play a couple games of cribbage with the ladies before I had to get back to the idling. It was a good break.

2008-10-14T08:41:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Essex Junction Five Corners Light was so long yesterday several SUVs ran out of gas, forcing their chunky drivers to actually have to walk - something they weren't accustomed to. The trek to the local gas station was exhausting; luckily the SUV owners had time to rest when they returned to the light - which was still red!

2008-10-13T09:29:00.001-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
We waited for so long at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday that a local cop came along and arrested us for loitering! When I tried to explain that I was waiting for the light to change, the cop just laughed and said, " That's life in the Junction, Baby!"

2008-10-10T08:31:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Yankee ingenuity at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. The blasted wait was so long, people got out of their vehicles,opened their trunks, set up card tables and had an impromptu flea market. I came away with a really neat Star Trek lunchbox and some used garden accessories. Other motorists found similar yummy deals. When the light finally turned green, we were a little poorer, but a lot richer, if you know what I mean.

2008-10-09T08:44:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got caught up with some photographs yesterday at the Essex Junction Five Corners light. I was able to organize and fill three photo albums before the light finally changed. The Five Corners is rapidly becoming a place where I get a helluva lot accomplished! I don't know what I would do if they put a roundabout in there and I had to keep moving.

2008-10-08T08:55:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE or [THAT'S SIC]
I was at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light so long this morning my car depreciated 2,000 bucks. I'm not kidding. The guy from Capital in Essex came over while I was idling and said, " Hey, Boy - since you been at this here light , the value of yer car has gone down substansurly." (sic) Writers - don't you love hangin' a sic once in a while. Also, have you noticed more newspapers are putting [sic] in parentheses than brackets. Picky - picky.

2008-10-07T09:15:00.000-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE - Essential collection
The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to complete your personal hygiene tasks. Why, just yesterday, the light took so long to change I was able to floss, pluck my back hair, cut my toenails AND take a spongebath, all the while watching every episode of The Waltons on my portable DVD player. It was a mighty pleasurable experience.

2008-10-06T10:10:00.001-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Fell asleep at the Essex Junction Five Corners light and dreamed that Peter Welch had promised to bring me a giant yummy caramel sundae.
In the dream I waited and waited but still no sundae. Finally Peter came to my car window (still in the dream) and said the ice cream shop was out of caramel, out of nuts, out of cherries and...out of ice cream!
I remember saying to him, "I don't believe you", and then I woke up, feeling weird.
It was a creepy dream and I'm glad the light changed so I could get out of there.

OCTOBER 3, 2008

2008-10-03T09:06:00.001-04:00

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Was able to finish the entire New York Times Crossword at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning. In fact, I had some time left over and thought about reading some of the articles but decided I wasn't in the mood for media bias so early in the day.

2008-05-07T08:46:00.000-04:00

WOODCHUCKS

Gassing the woodchucks didn't turn out right.
The knockout bomb from the Feed and Grain Exchange
was featured as merciful, quick at the bone
and the case we had against them was airtight,
both exits shoehorned shut with puddingstone,
but they had a sub-sub-basement out of range.

Next morning they turned up again, no worse
for the cyanide than we for our cigarettes
and state-store Scotch, all of us up to scratch.
They brought down the marigolds as a matter of course
and then took over the vegetable patch
nipping the broccoli shoots, beheading the carrots.

The food from our mouths, I said, righteously thrilling
to the feel of the .22, the bullets' neat noses.
I, a lapsed pacifist fallen from grace
puffed with Darwinian pieties for killing,
now drew a bead on the little woodchuck's face.
He died down in the everbearing roses.

Ten minutes later I dropped the mother. She
flipflopped in the air and fell, her needle teeth
still hooked in a leaf of early Swiss chard.
Another baby next. O one-two-three
the murderer inside me rose up hard,
the hawkeye killer came on stage forthwith.

There's one chuck left. Old wily fellow, he keeps
me cocked and ready day after day after day.
All night I hunt his humped-up form. I dream
I sight along the barrel in my sleep.
If only they'd all consented to die unseen
gassed underground the quiet Nazi way.
1972

From Our Ground Time Here Will Be Brief, by Maxine Kumin, published by Penguin Books. Copyright © 1972, 1982 by Maxine Kumin. Used with permission. Online Source

CONTINUUM: A LOVE POEM

MARCH 11, 2008

2008-03-11T12:18:00.000-04:00

HUM STAFF ON ASSIGNMENT
Back next week.

WEEKLY REVIEW (3-02-08)

2008-03-02T17:01:00.002-05:00

HUM HOT LIST

1. CHELSEA MORNING
Chels visited Burlington this week and asked us all to get our friends to vote for her mom. What if we don't have any friends? What if our friends can't stand Hillary? Then what?
Also, is Chelsea getting better looking or are we drinking more? Or maybe both?

2. RALPH NADER AND ANTHONY POLLINA RUNNING AGAIN
See any similarities between the two?
By the way, a recent TV poll for Gov had Douglas at 53%, Galbraith at 22% and Anthony at 12%. Or something close to that.

3. BHS, RICE IN BOY'S HOOP FINALS
BHS is undefeated. So were the New England Patriots.
Rice 59, BHS 54.

4. COMPOST HAPPENED
What the blank is the state thinking? We should be thinking of creative ways for Intervale Compost to thrive instead of mandating, permitting and knocking the piss out of them. Hello!

5. 108 INCHES... SO FAR
We could end up having the 4th or 5th snowiest winter ever. Where's global warming when you really need it.
For weather bugs like us, Matt Sutkoski's BFP Weather Rapport blog is a fun read. Matt has dubbed last month "Februweary".
When Matt was a fledgling reporter, he also worked part-time at a downtown stand called Blue Suede News. Remember that place? Had a sign out front that said, SORRY, WE'RE OPEN.

WEEKLY REVIEW (02-23-08)

2008-02-22T20:47:00.004-05:00

HUM HOT LIST

1. SANDERS UNINVOLVED IN CLINTON-OBAMA WRESTLE
Heck, if Barack and Hil both gave me 10k, I'd stay uninvolved, too.
Funny curious.
WCAX reported on the 10k donations to Bernie. So did the Free Press.
But the Brat Reformer didn't. Neither did the Times-Argus.
Funny curious.

2. SETBACK FOR LOTTERY LEASE LOVERS
Wall Street honcho advises lawmakers to drag their feet with regards to a lease decision, though the analyst for J. P. Morgan did say that a state or two might bite this year.
WCAX with the best story.

3. ESSEX HIGH TAKES THIRD STRAIGHT STATE HOCKEY CROWN
Yeah, but the fourth is always the hardest.
(Just kidding, boys. Great job!)

4. VERMONT TIMES SENTINEL IS SUPER-SCOOPER
The weekly that wants to be taken seriously has a box on the front page, (re:McCain visit,2-20-05) stating:

[ FIRST ON THE NET This story was first posted online at 5p.m., February 14 on www.Denpubs.com]

Pretty aggressive, huh?

Cool. We could use another newsy weekly in the area. Maybe they could bring in a columnist who doesn't tip too much one way or the other.

5. FREE PRESS CIRC CALL CENTER MOVES TO...KENTUCKY?
You don't think we found this out in the Free Press, do you?
Seven Days with a good solid snoop, on this one.
Oh, while you're there, check out the story on the couple who had community members fix the roof on their trailer, before they sold the joint!

6. DUMMY SHUMMY NOT CHUMMY WITH TRUMMY
Sen. Peter Shumlin's cowardly media attack ('nother one) on Gov Douglas backfired. Shumlin complained that Douglas has underfunded the state police in his new budget, but did not bother to check with Public Safety Commish Tom (Trummy) Tremblay to get his view. Tremblay thinks Shum is wrong on this one and wishes the senator would have called him before running to the microphone.
Free Press with good read.

7. IT'S A BLOG! IT'S A PAPER! IT'S MULTIMEDIA! IT'S VERMONT COMMONS!
Wow! Too much time on their hands? Well, maybe - but in a good way.
Check their site for scintillating thoughts on Vermont's energy future.

8. BUCK'S FURNITURE ITEMS BELOW COST?
Huh? Were we dreaming during the newscast or was Buck's offering their furniture below cost? Do we care? Does anyone listen to this horseshit? Pinch me.
Hey, when analog TV goes away in'09, can the Buck's ads go with it? Please?

9. CAMPAIGN FINANCE MEASURE WINS APPROVAL IN HOUSE
Boston Globe interested in bill. Hmmm.

WEEK IN REVIEW (2-16-08)

2008-02-15T21:38:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the newest weekly Hum offering. It's cool and so are you.

HUM HOT LIST

1. FLETCHER ALLEN NAME CHANGE
The venerable institution wants to change it's name to Fletcher Allen Something. We kind of like that.
We've got an alternate suggestion. Fletcher Allen Hospital and Pizzaria.
We're not kidding. Have you tried the pepperoni slices in the coffee shop. Serious pie. Beats the chains. Truly.

2. SENATE PASSES MARIJUANA DECRIM MEASURE
When we asked one the senators for a quote, he simply muttered, "Not now, Dude. I'm too very stoned to produce a salient statement at this point."

3. LOGGER'S ROY'S HOUSING COMMERCIALS
Usually, we find the overexposed Logger mildly annoying, but not this time.
His Roy's ads are fresh and silly; we love the one where he's singing about the wife and him having another set of twins - but not to worry, they've got room.

4. MCCAIN VISITS VERMONT
Photo-op heaven for Governor James (Jim) Douglas.
Who knows. Maybe Gentle Jim will score a sweet Ambassador to Bali position if JM beats BO for the top slot.

5. BHS BASKETBALL 20-0
Yeah, but we bet the New York Giants could kick their schoolboy butts. Maybe.

6. AMY WINEHOUSE WINS TONS OF GRAMMYS
Saw her on the show. Life sure is confusing, ain't it.

7. 100 INCHES OF SNOW POSSIBLE FOR SEASON
Shit, that's nothing. Why, back in the glory days, we used to get 100 inches per snowstorm. Really.

8. FAIRPOINT DEAL HAPPENING
At least Entergy's not involved. Are they?

9. TOM MESSNER
He's so happy. All the time. (See #2)

Check next week's Hum Hot List for thoughts on Buck's Furniture, campaign reform and bloggers who have an incredible amount of time on their hands.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM (02-13-08)

2008-02-13T13:20:00.002-05:00

JESUS STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
View this incredible photo courtesy of Gordon Metler and the Daily Mail.
Vermont Hum has done 'field research" in Rio.

Amazing moment the world's biggest Christ was struck by lightning

Last updated at 00:34am on 13th February 2008

Comments (13)

This was the dramatic scene as the world's largest statue of Jesus was hit by lightning.

The bolt parted the thunderclouds over Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, to strike Christ the Redeemer.

The statue is 130ft tall, is made of 700 tons of reinforced concrete and stands atop the 2,296ft Corcovado mountain overlooking the city.

Scroll down for more ...

Heavens above: The statue is struck during Sunday's storms

SATURDAY'S HUM (02-09-08)

2008-02-08T21:57:00.000-05:00

VT LOTTERY LEASE A BIG GAMBLE
UNPROVEN PLAN NOT A SURE BET

Mucho resistance against Governor Smoothie's lottery lease plan.
Here are bullet points pro and con:

Pro

* Stability. Lease would be for 40 years.
* One time front-loaded payment of 50 million.
* State guaranteed yearly payment of at least 20 million.
* Ability to raise revenue without raising taxes.
* Private lottery management firm would be administrator.
* Yearly payment to Vermont would be basically the same as the lottery derives presently,

without all the mess and fuss.

Con

* Resistance from more than one Vermont political party.
* After one-time payment is spent, then what?
* Aggressive private operator would change complexion of lottery face, encouraging more low income folks to spend their money unwisely.
Also, new lottery administrators would target

wider selection of Vermonters, especially middle-class.

* Other states have rejected lottery lease. Currently zero states have plan.
* Vermont's "play responsibly" feel would be gone.
* Private lease plan is unproven. Would there be damaging 'kinks' in the system?
* Simply put, more Vermonters would have to gamble for this thing to work. Do we want that?

Vermont Hum Gut Feeling

* Don't do it. It's too sketchy. It's too risky. And we already feel guilty enough about legalized gambling without this!

Here's what Bob Donnis feels about the Vermont lottery in general, in a stimulating My Turn. If you have any interest in the lottery issue, please scan this. It will take approximately 4 minutes. (Free Press, 02-06-08)

POLLINA NOT RUNNING
Anthony Pollina was spotted recently, walking, not running. Guess he can't run ALL the time.

ESSEX JUNCTION FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Screeched up to Essex Junction Five Corners light today knowing I had a few hours to kill.

I got on the cell and called my techno-guru, insisting he come up with a clicker for me, one that could change the Five Corners light system at my command, therefore allowing me to create a green light whenever I wanted. I was sick of waiting and I wanted answers!

My TG told me the technology to control the Essex Junction Five Corner light system was about a year away, and to hold on.

I don't know if I can.

THURSDAY'S HUM (2-7-08)

2008-02-06T22:57:00.000-05:00

GALBRAITH A DUNNE DEAL?
Excellent piece from the Rutland Herald blog, Vermont View, denoting that Matt Dunne is NOT running for Gov, possibly clearing the way for Peter Galbraith.
Peter Freyne reports that the Dunne-meister is taking a lucrative position with Google.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM (02-06-08)

2008-02-06T12:51:00.000-05:00

CITY MARKET VAUDEVILLE EXTRAVAGANZA
Everyday's Mardi Gras at City Market in Burlington. Walk in virtually any day and you're likely to see characters equal to the ones seen on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. And those are just the employees.
We enjoy City Markup for the entertainment, it's like going out for Halloween every time we're in there. About 3000 people enter the store each day, which allows for some doggone dang good people watching.
Some prices seems steep, but one can shop inexpensively, also. For example -you can grab a basket and throw in a slice of meat loaf and some roasted potatoes from the deli, then get some sushi from the cooler, fresh local veggies from the front, and a few ShurShine products, all for under 20 bucks. And the sideshow is free.
We stumbled on a newish local blog, Yes and No, which presents a cheeky essay on the City Market experience. The writer waxes humorously about the guy with lipstick, and the "checkers" with their unappealing ways. Check it out.

"...Most of the checkers there are young women and many have something unappealing about them: they are obese, they have hair in the wrong places, their clothes either cover too much or too little or they just seem too well educated for the job. The young men are also different - one wears lipstick and it actually looks quite good with his ear ring."

WCAX has a nice story with Jay O'Neill, a City Market bagger who is disabled. The store regularly hires individuals with disabilities.

ESSEX JUNCTION FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Big tailgate party at the Essex Junction Five Corners light on Super Bowl Sunday. The village, knowing we were going to be idling at the light for hours, possibly days, set up a big screen TV so we could watch the Super Bowl. In fact, the the TV was HD, which gave us a better picture than most of us had at home.
There happened to be a catering truck waiting at the light, and the driver passed around munchies to us all, which was mighty nice of her. She was also worried about spoilage; maybe she was thinking the light wouldn't change 'til Tuesday or Wednesday, and the food would go bad.
A couple of Essex High cheerleaders got out of their Honda and jokingly practiced their routines, cheering for the Giants, instead of the Hornets.
A guy who looked like Belichek got out of his truck and paced the intersection, pretending he was coaching the Patriots.
A group of idlers on the Pearl Street side of the light had a beer delivery truck close by, so they bribed the driver and proceeded to deliver frosty beverages to each one of the 96 people waiting at the light. We all made sure to stop after 2 beers, ensuring that we would be fine to drive, in case the light turned green before the game ended. It didn't.

All in all, we had a great time, and kinda hated to leave when red turned to green.
And, oh yes -------------YAY GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!