MAY SOMETHING, 2011

ON BASEPATHS, NOBODY NEATER THAN JETER

After a swipe in Seattle, Derek Jeter is now the all-time Yankees base stealer.

POLISH MAN WAKES AFTER 19 YEARS IN A COMA
What's the big deal? That happens all the time at the Essex Junction Five Corners light!

HIGH GAS PRICES
Hmmm. Wonder how much gas is being idled away at the Essex Junction Five Corners each day? Is there an engineer in the audience?

ST. MIKE'S GRADUATION - Shoot. You mean another crop of rich, spoiled out-of-state babies are leaving? That's too bad.

THUNDER ROAD IN BARRE STARTING UP AGAIN - Merchants are excited about the possibilities the local racing season brings.
Beer sales up. Tattoo sales up. Cigarette sales up. Ammo sales up. Tank top sales up. Beef jerky sales up. Cigarette sales up some more. Hard cider sales up. Bow and arrow sales up. Ashtray sales up. Prewrapped grinder sales up. Ammo sales up again. And so on.