MONDAY'S HUM (4-10-06 )

POLL CALL
Biggie in Essex tomorrow. Numerous items on the ballot, notably a 12 million bond for high scool and rink renovations. The Essex Skating Facility is so outdated they still have a team of horses cleaning the ice with a pull sled. The locker rooms still have spitoons and the snack bar still serves up RC Cola and Grape Nehi. Okay, maybe we're exaggerating but the rink definitely needs mucho improvements. HUM on the streets of Essex leads us to predict that all ballot items will pass.

GASHOLES
Gas prices rising faster than George Steinbrenner's blood pressure. One day it's 2.54 gal and two days later it's 2.67. Ironic and pathetically funny scene in Williston yesterday. Guy complaining to convenience store clerk about high gas prices - while his SUV idles 20 feet away. It was a headshaking moment.
There are just not enough solid reasons why gas prices should be moving up steadily at this time of year. There are certain times when higher prices naturally happen. During peak travel periods, for example. But not now. The simple explanation is this. WE ARE BEING JACKED and will continue to be jacked because not enough bigshots are willing to fight the fight and also because most people are like sheep - willing to numbly hand over dollar after dollar so they can fill up their Explorer and drive to the faceless chain store to buy a piece of Chinese crap they don't really need. "Hey Honey, that leaf blower is marked down twenty bucks! Should we grab it?" Yeah, pal - you go stoke up that Dodge Ram and go buy that leaf blower. We'll keep the light on.

WEEKEND SPORTS REVIEW
Sox hot. Schill pitching like he's 21 and the bullpen solid. New infield not shaky. Crisp out yesterday. Stern played centerfield and rocked.
Yanks win yesterday. Mussy throwing good ball. Yanks not worried about slow start; their bats will get them to the playoffs.
Mickelson dons green jacket, grabs check for 1.2 mil. He had the 3P's yesterday. Power, poise and perseverance.
'consin wins college hockey crown. We knew it was going to happen.

Out.