THURSDAY'S HUM ( 4-27-06 )

HEY, THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA
We get tons of mail, but one post stuck out like a sore thumb. It was a crazy idea, but a good one. Instead of donating 20 zillion dollars to Middlebury College, why doesn't the anonymous donor set up a Vermont scholarship fund, kinda like the one Jimbo is trying to sell to the legislators. The Dems and the Repubs are bickering like 3 year olds, and the budget and Jimbo's scholarship thingy are in limbo. Besides, does shi-shi Middlebury College and Resort really need another 20 mil to further satisfy its crop of Massachusetts snotbag students. It's a cruel, cruel, world, isn't it, just knowing that colleges receive millions of dollars out of the blue but countless elderly individuals live in pain 'cuz they can't afford 58 bucks for this week's meds. How about this. Maybe Anonymous Dude can donate 5 mil to Middlebury, 5 mil to the Vermont scholarship fund, 5 mil to the elderly and 5 mil to us! Yeah, that's the ticket.

READ THE VERMONT TIMES?
We've all seen the Vermont Times, sitting there in the stores, waiting to be picked up and read. Sort of like the bear Corduroy, waiting for a nice person to take him home. But we've never really known anyone who has taken the plunge and actually glanced at the paper. It was just sorta ...there.
Well, we actually picked one up the other day and leafed through it. Guess who has a column in there? The Logger! Yeah, the guy we love to pick on so much. The guy who's taken local overexposure to a higher level. And guess what? His column is not bad! It's funny, it's brutally honest and it made sense. So go ahead - next time you see the Vermont Times, pick one up. We're sure there will be a few hanging around.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Yankee ingenuity at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. The blasted wait was so long, people got out of their vehicles,opened their trunks, set up card tables and had an impromptu flea market. I came away with a really neat Star Trek lunchbox and some used garden accessories. Other motorists found similar yummy deals. When the light finally turned green, we were a little poorer, but a lot richer, if you know what I mean.