MONDAY'S HUM ( 5-01-06 )

GET OFF FROM MY CLOUD
Hmmm. Keith Richards injured falling out of a tree. Usally the Hum has things to say about most everything, but on this one, well...

MEETINGLESS
There will be no Burlington City Council meeting tonight on account of a 'thin agenda.' Kudos to the council for not having a meeting just to have a meeting.

YOU THINK TRAFFIC IS BAD NOW
Stay away from downtown and UVM around 5-5:30 tonight if you're driving. The Pro-Illegal Immigrant rally will take place with a North Street starting point, heading to Church Street and up the hill.

RACE TO THE GRAVE
Thunder Road opened yesterday and record cigarette sales were reported in the Barre area, although it was reported, still unsubstantiated, that there was a woman seen in the racetrack area without a butt dangling from her mouth. We're still working on this story.

BETTER RIVALRY
Sox - Yanks tonight at 7. The rivalry is even better this year with Damon following the cash trail and ending up with New York. Lots of Hum about JD but have you seen Giambi's numbers? 21st Century Steroid Man has crashed 9 homers and driven in 27 runs! But the big stat is his on-base percentage, which is staggering. Giambaroni has drawn 26 walks.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Need a petition signed? The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to go. There is a passive crowd there just waiting for something to do - or sign. With the light taking about 45 minutes to change, just think how many signatures one could get walking from car to car. In fact, maybe aspiring politicians could stand in the middle of the intersection and give speeches, and cars could honk if they didn't like what they were hearing!