FRIDAY'S HUM ( 6-02-06 )

WELCH TERRIER
Terrier Peter Welch to give Demmy response to President Bush's weekly radio address. As if Mark Shepard didn't have enough to worry about. First, the Good Shepard had to deal with Martha Rainville trotting in Smilin' Laura Bush, now he's got lefty linchpin Pelosi picking Peter to peck a pack of pickled peppers. The fact that Pelosi and pals picked Peter points out how important this race is to the Dem braintrust.
The response, which is being taped today, is likely to focus on Iraq and the need to get the hell out. Bush has already taped his address, so none of this is live. Catch it on WVMT tomorrow morning.

AIKEN TO WIN
Media home run for Rich Tarrant. Big photo of the 'The Wealthy Guy' sitting with the wonderful Lola Aiken, wife of the revered George Aiken. Mrs. Aiken has decided to endorse Tarrant, and their theme at yesterday's news conf was one of togetherness, with Repubs and Demmys clasping arms and making progress. George Aiken was well known for reaching across the aisle and 'The Wealthy Guy' wants to operate the same way.

WELL DUNNE
Debates on the horizon featuring Lt. Gov candidates John Tracy and Matt Dunne. We will be focusing on this primary and next week we will bring you the particulars of the Dunne candidacy, including WHO THE HECK HE IS! He's actually well known in southern Vermont but needs a media savvy handler to rev him up in Chit County. Stay tuned.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was wild. I was waiting at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning with nothing to do. Suddenly, this giant balloon floated over my car and stopped.
The balloon guy in the basket yelled down: "Hey, aren't you sick of waiting for that stupid light."
I leaned out the window and yelled, " Normally, no. But today I forgot to bring a movie or some books."
He then asked me if I wanted a ride and I nodded my consent.
Before I knew it he had lowered two adjacent G-613 tungsten steel car clamps and attached them to my frame. In less than a minute I was rising up over the red light, waving goodbye to all my pals at the intersection.
Up through the clouds we soared until we reached a special cloud where all the runaway balloons go. Millions of balloons moved gently to the ethereal whisperings of the stratosperic breezes. Each of the balloons had an inexact facial feature, yet it was not indistinct. I felt like I had seen these balloons before, but could not understand how or remember when.
Suddenly, I woke up and I was back at the Five Corners, spewing ob-noxious fumes along with approximately. 36 other vehicle owners. Had I really been dreaming? I don't know. Maybe never will.