WEEKLY HUM ( 07-21-06 )

EASY DRINKIN' COORS
Here's one of those stories that makes you say, "Oh, this is beautiful!" Beer baron Pete Coors arrested on charges of DUI in Colorado, a block from his home. Seems the Sultan of Suds had been at a wedding reception and enjoyed one too many...Coors?
Tim from Montpelier remarked: "If you are as rich as Pete Coors, why not take a limo to the wedding reception?"
Good point, Tim. Why drink and drive when you can afford to drink and be driven.

WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? SEVEN DAYS!?
Stink on the streets of Burlington re: the saucy and spicy ads in the Burlington Free Press for male enhancement products, complete with a provocative pic. Some questions we encountered were:

• Does the Free Press need the money that badly?
• How many readers are actually going to order the product?
• How many men kept the paper for future reference?

BETTER LETTER
Our Humdrum award for the week's best letter to the editor goes to a couple of fellows at the Vermont Agency of Transportation, who actually wrote in to apologize for misleading facts regarding train scheduling. Click here for the Seven Days letter and article.

IT'S BEGINNING TO SOUND A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS
Star 92.9 played Xmas music all day Wednesday and received many compliments from listeners appreciating the silliness. And the kids loved it, too.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Bellied up to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday and couldn't see a thing. There were thousands of BMW motorcycles all around me, and the exhaust fumes shrouded the intersection with an eerie yellow haze, like something from Soylent Green. The collective roar of the bikes was so loud, I couldn't hear my Wood's Tea Company CD, so I turned it off, left the car idling and hitched a ride with one of the Beemer pilots. We went for a scenic ride through the bay and by the time I returned to my car, the light changed. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join em'.