FRIDAY'S HUM (03-09-07)
YOU ASKED FOR IT ! HERE IT IS ! A NEW SEASON OF FIVE CORNER UPDATES !
FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was so cold at the Essex Junction Five Corners this morning, the lights malfunctioned and were all stuck on green. It was great.
Imagine a giant version of bumper cars.
Soon frenzied motorists were going after other frenzied motorists, or going to assist less fortunate participants in the impromptu Five Corners Derby.
We saw a pack of Hondas going after a Hummer, finally locking it in a death embrace while a hybrid screamed over and flattened the evil gas guzzler's tires.
Also noticed a Chevy pickup chasing a Ford, catching it and ripping off the 'Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Chevys' bumper sticker. Things were chaotic !
We sat stunned as a sidewalk plow and a old Fiesta tangled, with the sidewalk plow getting the best of it.
An SUV and a Dodge Caravan mixed it up, with the crusty old Caravan holding its own.
It was so cold in our car, words froze in the air! If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire.
Oh, how we long for warmer days at the Five Corners; we're getting sick of having to warm our toes on the exhaust pipe of the vehicle directly in front of us.
Ah, summer at the intersection. The smell of warm exhaust, picnicking on the hood of our car, playing hackysack with some of the younger idlers.
Shoot, we can dream, can't we?