FRIDAY'S HUM (05-04-07)

TOP 9 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

1. BOB DYLAN'S COMIN' TO TOWN - He'll be in Essex, July 1. First time in the area since'95. His requested rider includes 3 boxes of Depends, 6 cans of Ensure, a tube of Poli-dent, and a pair of those brown slippers. You know - those brown slippers old people wear.
2. BEES ARE LEAVING VERMONT - Also leaving are kids out of high school, retirees and anybody else who can't afford New Vermont!
3. CHAMPLAIN COLLEGE TUITION RISES 39% - Geez - that's more than the Vermont Gas rate hike! And the Green Mountain Power increase! And the property tax incline! And the...
4. IMMIGRANT MARCH - Not as many showed up this year. They were all at work.
5. SPIDERMAN 3 THIS WEEKEND - Okay, kid. I've got 100 bucks. Do you want a new bike or do you wanna see Spidey 3? Let's see - 9 bucks for the popcorn, sixteen bucks for the flick, 28 bucks for candy, 12 bucks for nachos...
   
6. CINDER BLOCK FALLS THROUGH JOE'S POND - Man wins 4k. Boy, was I off. I figured with global warming, the ice wouldn't freeze at all!
7. BARRE SCHOOL BUS DRIVER SENTENCED FOR DUI - She wasn't just buzzed - she was trashed! . Her BAC WAS .027; that's higher than David Hasslehoff's on a Cuervo night.
8. GREEN-UP DAY IS SATURDAY - Put down the Doritos, get off your ass, grab a bag, and head over to my backyard! I've got plenty of Green-Up for ya.
9. COTS WALK - Now, I can't remember. Are they walking for charity - or walking the picket line?