WEDNESDAY'S HUM (06-06-07)
TOP 9 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK
1. - LAURIE (INCONVENIENT TRUTH) DAVID'S MARRIAGE COOLS
Celebrity nuisance Laurie David, who spoke at UVM about global warming, is not so hot in hubby Larry (Seinfeld) David's eyes. They're splitsville. Wonder who'll get the SUV's?
2. - VENUS AND SERENUS DO STOWE
Yeah, they'll be spanking that ball starting July 14th at TopNotch. What a wonderful excuse to watch some great tennis and then maybe, just maybe, after the match... how 'bout a shedburger and a pint of their tasty ale? Natch!
3. - POLISH MAN WAKES AFTER 19 YEARS IN A COMA
What's the big deal? That happens all the time at the Essex Junction Five Corners light!
4. - N.H. MAN DUI WITH 2 YOUNG KIDS IN CAR
We've heard of kids driving people to drink, but this is ridiculous!
5. - RITE-AID TO BUY BROOKS
Who cares? When the heck are we gonna see a Walgreens?
6. - VERMONT GREEN; OTHER STATES GREEN WITH ENVY
Vermont ranked last in carbon emissions, which is good. Wyoming ranked first, thanks to coal, which is bad.
7. - ENERGY BILL LANDS ON JIMMY'S DESK
Douglas is gonna whip out his gold-plater dillinger veto pen and shoot that bill outa the sky!
8. - UVM WOMEN'S HOOP COACH TO MAKE 105,000 a year
What's Lonergan making next year? It's something like that, right? Maybe his 5 is in a different spot but hey, Sharon Dawley is still making four times as much as your kid's daycare teacher! Not bad, eh?
9. - WHERE'S SNARKY BOY?
His last post was May 17. Is the Snarkapotamus missing? Was he silenced by arch enemy Philip (Read me!) Baruth? Was he clubbed over the head with a whiskey bottle, hoisted by Freyne, whom the Snark has referred to as lame, or washed up, or something like that? Was he stabbed and left for dead by a coalition of mad Republicans and Democrats, whom he has pierced with many of his poisoned verbal arrows. To be continued...
Pub. note - Snark posted after this was published.