WEEKLY HUM (6-30-07)

TOP 7 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

1. - BENNINGTON HOSPITAL SELF-SERVE
Southwestern Vermont Medical Center is going to keep its birthing center open, even though there are gaps in pediatric coverage. The gaps occur on weekends and people are being encouraged to deliver during the week. The hospital said things should be fine and not to worry. They have contacted a temp agency and hope to begin training individuals real soon who show an interest in obstetrics, or have appropriate life experiences.

2. - UVM Athletic Director Corran Making Big Bucks; Signs For Yearly 175K
So what if the grunts are making peanuts, cleaning up all the beer bottles and attendant vomit on campus. Sports is where it's at! We don't hear a lot about academics coming from the hill, but hey, anyone can learn. We need great hoop and hockey teams to bring in the cabbage. Yeah!

3. - Is Winooski Getting Shi-Shi?
The Onion City is celebrating RiverWalk this weekend, with live music, fireworks, good eats, and exhibits. Man, is Win-ooky hitting the big time? We've heard rumblings that it's cool and getting cooler. Gosh, even McKee's is serving Eggs Benny. Who we gonna pick on now? Is Milton still available? How about Richford? Enosburgh Falls, perhaps?

4. - Rough Crowd Invades Essex Junction
A slew of quilters will invade the fairgrounds this weekend for the Vermont Quilt Festival. Huh, wonder how the Lincoln Inn prepares for 2,000 quilters? Not exactly a tattooed, chain-smoking bunch, these masters of the material. Bet the Linc orders extra Chardonnay and cheese, and makes sure the bathrooms are clean.

5. - Leahy Votes For Immigration Reform Bill
You know why, don't you. You see, Partisan Pat is very fond of President Bush, and just wanted to help out his dear friend. Sanders, on the other hand, voted against the bill, muttering something about the shrinking middle class. Is he up for re-election already?

6. - BREAKING NEWS! FURNITURE STORE CLOSING!
Final days are upon us. The Furniture Place on Shelburne Road, in the process of closing for the past four years, will be closing sometime in the next four years.

7. - Snark Attack
Whether he's wondering "...how far Peter Freyne is willing to shove his bulbous head up Pat Leahy's ass..." or describing how Jim Douglas will "...hike his pants up midway to his chest...", Snarky Boy will keep you laughing, or seething. Anyway, he's back in black, humor, that is, and we're the luckier for it. Nobody in the state delivers better biting pol satire and insight than the SNARKOPOTAMUS!


MEDIA REVIEW
Speaking of Freyne, Peter Pumpkinhead has stirred up the hive of C&E, on WVMT. Charlie Papillo has been hilarious the past couple of mornings, commenting on Freyne's column, which featured Papillo's talk with Peter Welch about global warming. "Chatterbox" Papillo joked that Freyne didn't dog him with a nickname, but Ernie suggested there is one, it just can't be repeated.
Check out Peter Freyne's words here.