WEEKEND HUM (07-13-07)

TOP 7 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK
1. Mac's Market Makes Mark -
Essex seniors are giving Mac's the big thumbs up! Aisles wide enough to do the jitterbug in, staff that doesn't have that blank retail stare (yet!) , and prices that won't make the oldies dip into the meds fund are just three banner reasons why the local chain is flying high.
Try the juicy rotisserie chicken for just 6.49. So fresh it's got that just-slaughtered taste to it.

2. And Venus Was Her Name -
Coming off a huge win at Wimbledon, where does V go?
Why, Church Street, of course! Not only did Venus Williams do downtown Burlington, she did it with a big smile, capturing the hearts of many, including a flock of disadvantaged impressionable kids looking for a rainbow. They found it.

3. Veto Lightning Strikes Dems -
Once again, Gov Smoothie showed the Demmies who's boss, including Peter Shumless, the "man who will never be Governor".
Pinocchio was his usual graceless self, muttering something about Douglas being "out of touch". No, Pinocchio - you're out of touch with your partisan baby bickering and lame leadership skills.
We were right on with our prediction that H.520 would fail to override by 10 to 12 votes but were mildly surprised that the campaign finance bill didn't slide through. So were a lot of folks.

4. Fireworks Again Tonight? -
Has there been a shitload of fireworks lately or what?
It seems like every time we turn around, someone is doing the fireworks thing. Even the Symphony. What's next? After church service? After every wedding?
Someone wrote a letter wondering if all these explosions were good for the environment? Ya think?

5. Ethan Allen Homestead Lives! -
Yes, it's true. the Homestead scrounged up enough dough to open for another season. The home of Ethan and Fanny will once again come alive, complete with colonial attire, tours, and free key fobs.
Just kidding about the key fobs. If you want a free key fob, visit one of the skanky car dealerships in the area, the ones who will sell their mothers to put yet another earth-ruining SUV on the streets. Good job, fellas.

6. Springfield, Vt. Rocks the Simpsons -
Last week we told you Vermont was close to getting the Simpsons nod. Boy, were we right. So close, they won! Hoooommmmmmmeeerrrrr!!!!!!

7. Isle La Motte Likes Things the Way They Are -
Huh?
Residents voted NO to expand the council and adopt a conflict of interest ordinance. No, there's no conflict of interest there. No. No way. Everything's cool. Hunky dory. Just some funds being passed around, that's all. No big deal.

BONUS HUMMER!
Snarky Boy analyzes the mess in Montpelier. Hang on!