WEEKEND HUM (07-28-07)

TOP 7 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

Douglas Unravels Demmies
Everyone speculating who's gonna run against Gentleman Jim. Who cares? Jimmy Boy will kick any ass. That's just the scene right now. The Dems might as well put the Logger up there and see how many votes he gets.
Anyway, we all know what's going to happen for the next five to seven years. Same bickering Dem majority, same Douglas smooth jazz. Case closed.

Resnick's View (Get it?)
All The Traditions host Robert (Keep playin' those wonderful Quebecois chansons) Resnick fires a hot letter to the Free Mess urging us fine individuals to closely monitor the development plans on Battery Street and environs, in Burlington. Before we know it, all sorts of out-of-state, fat, rich bastards will be hogging all the traditions, including the views, from their stupid looking high-rise condos near the water.
Write on, Bobby! Love the passion! We hate that shit,too! Click here to read Robert.

Yankee Surge
Vermont Yank fans lovin' the recent push by the Bronx Bombers. Granted, they've kicked some mediocre team's butts, but hey, those are the tilts they gotta win. Look for some bullpen changes. The lame Scott Proctor being moved, perhaps? Whaddayathink, Fellow Otis?

Marcelis Parsons a Car Salesman?
Checked out the Channel 3 news lately? My God - how many car ads can they cram in during the sixty minute show? After this summer, when we have more time, we'll do a minute by minute analysis of the fabled news hour, complete with stats on commercials aired. Watch out.

Rift Raft
The guy living on the raft is getting a lot of attention lately, like local insta-legend stuff. He's hanging out on Lake Champlain for the summer, reading philosophy. Wouldn't he rather be stuck at the Essex Junction Five Corners?

We Love Ruth Stone
Middlebury's Ruth Stone,92, selected Vermont's State Poet. Is that the best? Here's one of her gems:

The Cabbage
by Ruth Stone
You have rented an apartment. You come to this enclosure with physical relief, your heavy body climbing the stairs in the dark, the hall bulb burned out, the landlord of Greek extraction and possibly a fatalist. In the apartment leaning against one wall, your daughter's painting of a large frilled cabbage against a dark sky with pinpoints of stars. The eager vegetable, opening itself as if to eat the air, or speak in cabbage language of the meanings within meanings; while the points of stars hide their massive violence in the dark upper half of the painting. You can live with this.

I Swear That Space Shuttle Was Swerving
Credit local astronaut Nowak for stirring up things - to the point that a panel of experts was created to see... WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON AT NASA!
Turns out a few A-nauts were killing a twelve pack before blasting off. They were blasting off, all right. But, hey, wouldn't you have a cocktail before entering deep space. Just one to steady the nerves.