Friday

WEEKEND HUM (08-11-07)

TOP 7 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

Doyle Wins Demolition Derby
Long-time Vermont State Senator and JSC teach Bill Doyle won the Twin City Demo Derby this week. Congrats, Bill.
Only one problem. Doyle was the only one entered and now he has to pay for all the cars.
Seems the Senator wanted to test drive a car, even though he left his license elsewhere. The crew at Twin City Subaru allowed him to drive on the lot, where Doyle, 81, lost control and bammed three cars. He wasn't physically hurt but his ego took a beatin'.
Times-Argus had the best coverage on the "Derby".
We could just hear the Republican brass muttering, "Damn, we got us enough problems without this!" Yup.

Gold-Plated 94 Million Dollar Dump
Here's what the Burlington Free Press' Candy Page said, on Vermont This Week, about the new and improved price tag for the Williston landfill: "...it's very likely it will be scaled back." Ya think!

Stevo's Going Fishin'
Sturdy VPR newsman Steve Delaney signed off yesterday with the same low-key approach he's always taken. Mister Unassuming told us after 50 years in broadcasting he was retiring, and thirty seconds later he was gone. Our loss. Access SD's retirement announcement and last newscast right here.

Graceless
Lamer than usual cover on Seven Days this week with overrated media balloon Grace Potter grabbing some ugly guy's butt. Yuck!
Do you remember, as we do, the 7D covers of yesteryear being wittier, funnier, more powerful.
It seems like they're forcing it now.

The Traffic's Backed Up, Wish You Were Here
Vt Com Sec Kev Dorn wants to get high-techers back in Vermont. A recruitment drive aimed at Vermont college alums living in Boston, N.Y., etc. is underway, touting the peaceful, Green Acres way of life. Hah!
Wait'll the techies move back and face the lines on Williston Road. They'll wish they were back driving in Beantown!

Five Corners Update
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners just as the light went red. Dang!
I started to hunker down for a long nap when...SHAZAM! I heard something very interesting on the radio. They were saying we can all go to our town offices and look at everyone's property tax rebate data. Natch!
It seems that because of the prebate funds going to the town and property tax records being public stuff, we can go find out, with some simple math, what everyone makes. Nice!

So I got out of the car and went to the town office, 'cuz I wanted to know what Hal down the street brought home for payola. Wow! He's doin' okay! Time to hit him up for a loan!

Anyway, it was a fine time figuring out all the earnings in Essex, but before I knew it, two hours had passed, Yikes! I had to back to the car! What if the light changed? Naw. Didn't have to worry about that!

P.S. - Brush up on the property tax prebate story with the Rutland Herald.

Nude Taser Tag in Brattleboro
Bill in Burlington said he had the worst dream the other night.
He was walking, naked, down the street in Brattleboro when a police officer ran up and told him that public nudity was outlawed. When poor Bill protested, the cop tasered him - right on the peepee!! Ouch!
Bill said he woke up sweating. Don't blame him.

Bonus Hummer
Snarky Boy is back and picking on the nasty biased blog Green Mountain Daily and it's chief, ODUMB! Real funny stuff from the acid-tongued Snarkapotamus.

EXTRA BONUS HUMMER - BREAKING NEWS
She's Right is back!!!! Yayyy! Go to her site at once!

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm still laughing my you-know-what off.
The tale of the Barratleboro cop tazering the guy Bill on the "peepee" is too funny. Thanks.

10:50 PM  
Anonymous cowafornia cal said...

here in cow country we could see a nudist running from the police and getting ZAPPED on the butt and doing a country jig, unintended of course!

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's give the nudists tasers.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Rocky22 said...

Think of the possibilities.
You're pulled over in Brattleboro and the cop is naked.
You walk in a 7-11 and the clerk is naked.
You go to a city council meeting and all of the councilors are in the buff.
You see a jogger and he/she is naked.
You go to a nursing home and, uh... lets forget that one.
Crazy.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Charity said...

Thank you for the warm welcome back!

9:33 PM  

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