Friday

SATURDAY'S HUM (11-3-07)

THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN A HUNTER AND A DRUNKEN FOOL SITTING IN A TREE STAND, FLOSSING HIS OR HER TWO REMAINING TEETH
Tragic huntin' stories abound lately in the Green Mountain state. Here's two of 'em...
* A couple of guys from Milton were out hunting. One guy sits on a rock, resting; the other, apparently a moderate distance away, mistakes his friend for a bear and shoots an arrow in his direction, landing a direct hit, requiring the first hunter to receive medical treatment at Boettcher Allen, where the arrow was capably removed by the award winning trauma team.
*This story involves a dog, a gun and a hunter. Somebody or something got shot and we just don't have the time, money or energy to get into it.
Please - If you're gonna go in the woods, either be properly anesthetized or get ready to duck!

HOW TO PAY FOR HEALTH CARE
Easy. Get more people to smoke.
You gotta check out this hilarious YouTubee from one of our faves, local supersite, Vermont Tiger.

VERMONT HUM VOTED BEST LOCAL BLOG
The Vt. Association of Inconsequential and Sarcastic Interactive Media (VAISIM) , presently with a membership of 1, has selected the Hum as best in its category.
We are extremely honored to receive the award from this very prestigious group, and will do our utmost to carry on the proud tradition.

PIERCING GUY ON CHURCH STREET CONTINUES TO AMAZE
Yeah, there's a dude on Church Street in Burlington who has more piercings on his person than this reporter has back hair strands. We are certainly impressed and will continue to follow this story in depth. Our readers can be assured that any additional piercings will be recognized, verified and reported on, complete with our patented TorsoLock positioning and GPS satellite technology.
As usual, the Hum is at the forefront of inconsequential cutting edge journalism.

1 Comments:

Blogger Owen Mulligan said...

Vermont Sued for “Unclean Elections”…

Blazing Indiscretions http://www.blazingindiscretions.blogspot.com/ has an excellent story about the National Clean Elections Lawsuit which was officially launched this week. All 50 states are being sued!

While many towns in Vermont count the votes by hand, many do not. Currently, 94 towns will use Diebold AccuVote OS (optical-scan) machines in the next election representing more than 50% of the state’s registered voters.

Vermonters, it’s time to wake up!!! These machines are just as prone to errors, malfunctions and software attacks as their infamous counterpart; the touchscreen voting machines.

Read the Brennan Report if you don’t believe me, or just visit VotersUnite.org to review the most recent malfunctions that took place in actual elections. Some too close for comfort, like New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and the list goes on. *They use the same machines as us (Diebold AccuVote OS and the same programmer for the Diebold memory cards, LHS, Associates.)

What really concerns me though is that we will most likely never know if malfunctions or miscounts happen in Vermont because we rarely audit the election results. (There has only been one audit since Vt started using these machines and I’d hardly call it an audit)

Sure, we have paper ballots, but what’s the point of using them if they are never actually counted by hand or even audited for review.

Ted Selker, Cal Tech/MIT Voting Technology Project, summed up my feelings best when he said, “A common practice for local election officials is to let election companies run their election - make up their ballot, set up their machines, and even count their tallies. This is a dangerous practice.”

3:30 AM  

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