Wednesday

THURSDAY'S HUM (1-31-08)

VERMONT HUM GOES WITH MCCAIN
In a recent test of all frozen french fries, the Hum staff has chosen the McCain brand as the tastiest. Ore-Ida was a close second, with the ShurShine entry a distant third. This is the first entry in a continuing series of monitoring various food offerings. Stay tuned.

Oh, as far as our choice for the next president, we're leaning toward Paris Hilton as a possible write-in candidate. She's cleaned up her act and is sounding real intelligent.

LIQUOR CONTROL BOARD NEUTERS HOOTERS
SOUTH BURLINGTON RESTAURANT LOSES BOOZE LICENSE FOR 18 DAYS
Imagine going to Hooters on Super Bowl Sunday, finding a great seat near the 390 inch HD-LD-OD-SD-RD TV and saying to the lovely young service starlet: " Uh, yes, I'd like a plate of wings, some skins and a ... chocolate milk."
We don't think so. We'll fold.

KUNIN, DEAN COME TO BLOWS OVER TERM LIMITS
Wait a minute. We're wrong. They didn't come to blows. In fact, they were extremely civil; both ex-govs posited their respective positions with clarity and passion. And Howard only screamed once. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
By the way, Dean is happy with the current 2 year governor term; Kunin would like to see 4 years. The best report on the discussion comes from VPR.
We think a governor should get a contract, like a baseball player, where he or she receives incentives for performance, like lowering our taxes, fixing the roads... or striking out Peter Shumlin.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Interminable wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners light this morning. We achieved a boredom level rarely felt, and decided to pass the time reading food labels from groceries tucked inside our Mac's Market bag. One item we pulled out was a can of Campbell's Select Split Pea soup.
By the way - why is it always SPLIT PEA?! What are the other alternatives?
Anyway - get this. If you eat the entire can, you will ingest approximately (God, is that a ridiculously hard word to spell) 1700 mgs of sodium, practically the day's alotment put out by the FDA and the FBI. Insane. Remind me to e-mail Campbell's.

3 Comments:

Anonymous jacko said...

Hummy
Got your latest post on RSS feed as soon as you finished.
It's quite possibly the funniest blog entry I've ever read - at least locally.
Trouble is --- the next one will probably be mundane and idiotic!
Keep up the good work and can't wait to read the next one.

10:22 PM  
Blogger McClintock said...

Attention "Jacko" -
The Vermont Hum staff respectfully submits that you are an idiot's idiot - other idiots look up to you.
And whenever we look up mundane in the dictionary, we see your picture.
And you smell.
Other than that, you are a decent,caring individual.

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AWWWWWWWSOME,DUDE!

12:35 PM  

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