WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2011

------BREAKING NEWS-------

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER FOUND AWAKE

In a stunning development, an air traffic controller at a Miami airport was found awake on the job, prompting officials to exclaim, "See, things ain't so bad."
When asked why he was awake in the control tower, the worker said, "Geez, I had so much sleep the night before, I couldn't sleep tonight!"

BURLINGTON TELECOM SUES ENTERGY

In a bizarre move, BT has decided to sue Entergy for, you guessed it, 17 million smackers. When asked by Senior Vermont Hum Burlington Politics reporter Amstel Tibbetts why they chose the litigation route, an unnamed BT official said, "Because they're assholes, and we need the money."
We'll have more on this story as it breaks.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

The light at the Essex Junction Five Corners took so long to change this morning, I was able to get out, borrow a hose from Bushey's service station, come back and wash, wax and detail the car. Just as it dried, the light finally went green.
Gosh, I'm so productive at the five corners, I wish the light would never change!