WHO WAS CHARLES EASTMAN?
Recently, deep in the bowels of the Brownell Library in Essex Junction, a discovery was made. Uncovered was an 1848 book of poetry written by noted newspaperman Charles Eastman, who, with others, was affiliated with the Vermont (Barre) Patriot. Said paper was well-received in its day; here is an advertisement from the September 15, 1850 edition for the Boston Museum.

Eastman's book of poetry, published in Montpelier, is full of gems, including this wonderful offering.

NOVEMBER

The days we've so long dreaded,
The days of frost and snow,
Of winds that sweep the frozen street,
And whistle as they go-
The days of fickle temperament,
A smile and then a blow!
Of mud and mire and dirtiness,
Again, are ' here below !'

We sit and sneeze and cough in rooms
Insufferably hot,
And tumble over old accounts
Were never worth a groat!
And looking from the window,
Into our neighbor's lot,
We really argue if 'twere best
To steal his sheep or not!

The vines, frost-bitten, from the eaves
Hang blackening in the rain,
And trickling drops, like silent tears,
All day the windows stain;
The leaves are gone, the dead weed-stalks
Grow black upon the plain,
And herds are lowing in the fields
Where stood the gathered grain.

All day you hear the noisy crow
Upon the hemlock high-
In flocks, about the mountain ash,
The chirping robins fly;
The rustling leaves and yellow, drive
In mimic whirlwinds by,
Or on the wet and muddy walks,
In heaps, together lie.

The dripping of the rain is heard
Upon the roof all night,
And dark and heavy clouds obscure
The early morning's light;
We gape and stretch and feel as dull
As our grandmother's sight,
' Some ' older than Methuselah,
And cross enough to bite!

That summer's gone, and gone for good,
'Tis useless to protest,
When all the hills that you can see
In snowy caps are dressed;
When fogs upon the valley
From morn till evening rest,
And in his journey scarce the sun
Is seen from east to west.

Alas! these days of dumps and of
Interminable rains,
Of overcoats and overshoes,
And 'pothecary grains-
Of drops for coughs, and slops for colds,
From catnip tea to Swayne's,
Make the effort to survive appear
A questionable pains!

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
I really didn't feel like driving this morning, so I was glad when the Essex Junction Five Corners light went on interminably. I nestled in the seat and pulled out Howard Coffin's An Inland See from the backseat bookcase. The book, chronicling the Roman Catholic Diocese of Burlington, is actually a fun read, believe it or not. No, I'm serious! For example, did you know that former Bishop John Marshall was a HUGE Boston Red Sox fan. We're talkin' addicted. He loved the Celts, too.
And,of course, a book about the Catholics in Burlington wouldn't be complete without a McClintock in there somewhere, but that's another post.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Dilemma at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. We were stuck behind a dump truck with a big sign on the tailgate stating CONSTRUCTION VEHICLE - DO NOT FOLLOW. Yikes! What do we do? If we can't follow it, do we have to turn around? If we follow it, will we be arrested? And who made the rules about not being to follow this truck?
By the time the light changed, the sign on the truck had weathered and was unreadable so we didn't have to worry. Thank God, 'cuz it was just too much to think about on a Sunday.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Was able to polish an entire set of Gunucci silverware at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning.
Was not able to sort them back in the tray 'cuz the stupid light changed, which irked me. You know, sometimes that darn light changes too quickly!

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to complete your personal hygiene tasks. Why, just yesterday, the light took so long to change I was able to floss, pluck my back hair, cut my toenails AND take a spongebath, all the while watching every episode of The Waltons on my portable DVD player. It was a mighty pleasurable experience.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Shucks! Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light just as the stupid thing turned yellow. Usually we scream through the yellow (after all, yellow means STEP ON IT!) but this time we came to a stop. Knowing we had time on our hands, we got out the DVD player and threw in...Five Corners! Yes - Five Corners the movie. The one from '87 about a psycho returning to his neighborhood after spending time in the clink. Great cast, with Jodie Foster, Tim Robbins, John Turturro and in a small role, Campbell Scott. It was great seeing the movie again and the light changed just as the credits rolled. It was perfect!

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Skidded up to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light and received bad news from a fellow idler. The red light was going to be a long one, he told me, cuz a village official was in a really bad mood and decided to take it out on motorists, programming the light so it would change only every six hours. I shrugged and didn't much care because I had just come from the Brownell Library and was clutching a brand new copy of 'In the Land of the Wild Onion', written by Dummerston's Charles Fish. The book outlines Fish's journey on the Winooski River from Cabot to Lake Champlain. I was able to read the entire book AND walk it back over to library before the six hour light changed. Real relaxing.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning and was ready to curl up with Robert Kuttner's new book when - SHAZAM! - the light turned green! I was so shocked I keeled over and the much heralded Essex Rescue Squad had to come over and revive me. C'mon - if you got to the Five Corners and the light changed quickly, you'd pass out, too!

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was wild. I was waiting at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning with nothing to do. Suddenly, this giant balloon floated over my car and stopped.
The balloon guy in the basket yelled down: "Hey, aren't you sick of waiting for that stupid light."
I leaned out the window and yelled, " Normally, no. But today I forgot to bring a movie or some books."
He then asked me if I wanted a ride and I nodded my consent.
Before I knew it he had lowered two adjacent G-613 tungsten steel car clamps and attached them to my frame. In less than a minute I was rising up over the red light, waving goodbye to all my pals at the intersection.
Up through the clouds we soared until we reached a special cloud where all the runaway balloons go. Millions of balloons moved gently to the ethereal whisperings of the stratosperic breezes. Each of the balloons had an inexact facial feature, yet it was not indistinct. I felt like I had seen these balloons before, but could not understand how or remember when.
Suddenly, I woke up and I was back at the Five Corners, spewing obnoxious fumes along with approximately 36 other vehicle owners. Had I really been dreaming? I don't know. Maybe never will.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Impromptu entertainment yesterday at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light. The Five Corners Jazz Quartet set up shop at the intersection and people were seen dancing on top of their SUVs.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got really bored at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning so I left my car and started talking to other idlers. We came up with a great idea!
Why not Five Corners voting?
With people stuck at the intersection for hours with little to do, why not take a cue from Williston and have voting done right from the window. Maybe Essex officials could spice it up and deliver ballots on roller skates, just like the old A&W carhops. And after we vote, we get a free root beer. Yeah!

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was bumper sticker heaven at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. The car in front of me had one that read, Tailgaiters Buy My Cars, while the car up ahead in the right lane had a message stating, Your Little Princess is My Little Whore. The lady in the first vehicle looked to be a cigarette afficionado, and the gentleman driving the rusty princess whore vehicle looked, well, undereducated.
There were also numerous trucks with numbers on them, presumably carrying drivers who just can't get enough Nascar in their lives. Those drivers also looked, well, undereducated. But macho.
The best bumper sticker simply said, Breathe Deeply, which is not a good idea at the Five Corners, or as I lovingly call it, Idler's Cove. But I breathed deeply anyway, and felt better for it.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Had a sleepover at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light last night. Arrived around 7 p.m., sensing it was going to be a long wait. So we got in our jammies, opened the bag of unshelled peanuts, and threw Caddyshack into the portable DVD player. Don't you love that movie? We think Rodney Dangerfield's death should have been a national day of mourning.
Anyway, when the light changed the next morning, we drove off, leaving the intersection strewn with peanut shells, or as they call them in Georgia - mulch!