WEEKEND HUM (07-28-07)


Douglas Unravels Demmies
Everyone speculating who's gonna run against Gentleman Jim. Who cares? Jimmy Boy will kick any ass. That's just the scene right now. The Dems might as well put the Logger up there and see how many votes he gets.
Anyway, we all know what's going to happen for the next five to seven years. Same bickering Dem majority, same Douglas smooth jazz. Case closed.

Resnick's View (Get it?)
All The Traditions host Robert (Keep playin' those wonderful Quebecois chansons) Resnick fires a hot letter to the Free Mess urging us fine individuals to closely monitor the development plans on Battery Street and environs, in Burlington. Before we know it, all sorts of out-of-state, fat, rich bastards will be hogging all the traditions, including the views, from their stupid looking high-rise condos near the water.
Write on, Bobby! Love the passion! We hate that shit,too! Click here to read Robert.

Yankee Surge
Vermont Yank fans lovin' the recent push by the Bronx Bombers. Granted, they've kicked some mediocre team's butts, but hey, those are the tilts they gotta win. Look for some bullpen changes. The lame Scott Proctor being moved, perhaps? Whaddayathink, Fellow Otis?

Marcelis Parsons a Car Salesman?
Checked out the Channel 3 news lately? My God - how many car ads can they cram in during the sixty minute show? After this summer, when we have more time, we'll do a minute by minute analysis of the fabled news hour, complete with stats on commercials aired. Watch out.

Rift Raft
The guy living on the raft is getting a lot of attention lately, like local insta-legend stuff. He's hanging out on Lake Champlain for the summer, reading philosophy. Wouldn't he rather be stuck at the Essex Junction Five Corners?

We Love Ruth Stone
Middlebury's Ruth Stone,92, selected Vermont's State Poet. Is that the best? Here's one of her gems:

The Cabbage
by Ruth Stone

You have rented an apartment.

You come to this enclosure with physical relief,

your heavy body climbing the stairs in the dark,

the hall bulb burned out, the landlord

of Greek extraction and possibly a fatalist.

In the apartment leaning against one wall,

your daughter's painting of a large frilled cabbage

against a dark sky with pinpoints of stars.

The eager vegetable, opening itself

as if to eat the air, or speak in cabbage

language of the meanings within meanings;

while the points of stars hide their massive

violence in the dark upper half of the painting.

You can live with this.
I Swear That Space Shuttle Was Swerving
Credit local astronaut Nowak for stirring up things - to the point that a panel of experts was created to see... WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON AT NASA!
Turns out a few A-nauts were killing a twelve pack before blasting off. They were blasting off, all right. But, hey, wouldn't you have a cocktail before entering deep space. Just one to steady the nerves.

WEEKEND HUM (07-21-07)


Sometimes It Pays To Be In The Church Choir -
Guess who's doin' the National Anthem at Fenway this Sunday ?
It's the Essex Men's Choir from the First Congregational Church, and they're performing on Vermont Day at the venerable ball field. Shoot. Maybe I should join the choir. Like tonight!

WVMT Sounding Like College Radio -
What? Did they get struck by lightning? In the past couple of weeks we've heard dead air, back-to-back-to-back PSA's, wrong shows at the wrong times, and canned voices counting down during breaks. Anyone got the scoop?
Speaking of VMT, Ernie will be on vacay this week, and a series of guest hosts will be in the studio, including Peter Shumless blaming someone for something on Wednesday. Should be a fun show, since Charlie leans the other way.

Kennedy Drive To Be Completed in 3016 -
Have you been on Kennedy Drive lately? God, it's a longer wait than the Essex Five Corners. Well... maybe not THAT long, but close. Who's in charge over there, if anyone?

Shelburne Harry Potter Camp Makes NPR - For a solid week, kids got to make potions, play quidditch and carve wands. Now they're getting noticed.
Check out this video from the Free Press and listen to NPR's All Things Considered on Monday morn. Local resident Holly McClintock was one of the stars of a performance given by the campers to an appreciating crowd of thousands, well, maybe hundreds. Okay. 19 people.

Vermont Gardens Besieged By Japanese Beetles -
If your plants are being chomped to death by those pesky beetles, here's a novel approach from a local Master Gardener.
If you have kids, pay them a penny for every beetle they catch. Then drop the pests into a cauldron of hot, soapy water. The beetles, not the kids, wise guy!

Fletcher Allen Omitted from U.S. News & World Report Top 50 Hospitals -
Don't worry, Fletch. Vermont Hum is giving you the award for Best Hospital Macaroni and Cheese.
See. It's not so bad now, is it?

Being Joel Najman -
Do ya like the local deej and his stellar "My Place" gig. Press here for a Najman primer from Seven Days.


WEEKEND HUM (07-13-07)

1. Mac's Market Makes Mark -
Essex seniors are giving Mac's the big thumbs up! Aisles wide enough to do the jitterbug in, staff that doesn't have that blank retail stare (yet!) , and prices that won't make the oldies dip into the meds fund are just three banner reasons why the local chain is flying high.
Try the juicy rotisserie chicken for just 6.49. So fresh it's got that just-slaughtered taste to it.

2. And Venus Was Her Name -
Coming off a huge win at Wimbledon, where does V go?
Why, Church Street, of course! Not only did Venus Williams do downtown Burlington, she did it with a big smile, capturing the hearts of many, including a flock of disadvantaged impressionable kids looking for a rainbow. They found it.

3. Veto Lightning Strikes Dems -
Once again, Gov Smoothie showed the Demmies who's boss, including Peter Shumless, the "man who will never be Governor".
Pinocchio was his usual graceless self, muttering something about Douglas being "out of touch". No, Pinocchio - you're out of touch with your partisan baby bickering and lame leadership skills.
We were right on with our prediction that H.520 would fail to override by 10 to 12 votes but were mildly surprised that the campaign finance bill didn't slide through. So were a lot of folks.

4. Fireworks Again Tonight? -
Has there been a shitload of fireworks lately or what?
It seems like every time we turn around, someone is doing the fireworks thing. Even the Symphony. What's next? After church service? After every wedding?
Someone wrote a letter wondering if all these explosions were good for the environment? Ya think?

5. Ethan Allen Homestead Lives! -
Yes, it's true. the Homestead scrounged up enough dough to open for another season. The home of Ethan and Fanny will once again come alive, complete with colonial attire, tours, and free key fobs.
Just kidding about the key fobs. If you want a free key fob, visit one of the skanky car dealerships in the area, the ones who will sell their mothers to put yet another earth-ruining SUV on the streets. Good job, fellas.

6. Springfield, Vt. Rocks the Simpsons -
Last week we told you Vermont was close to getting the Simpsons nod. Boy, were we right. So close, they won! Hoooommmmmmmeeerrrrr!!!!!!

7. Isle La Motte Likes Things the Way They Are -
Residents voted NO to expand the council and adopt a conflict of interest ordinance. No, there's no conflict of interest there. No. No way. Everything's cool. Hunky dory. Just some funds being passed around, that's all. No big deal.

Snarky Boy analyzes the mess in Montpelier. Hang on!


WEEKEND HUM (07-07-07)


1. 7 Wonders of Vermont - The Free Press is trying hard to round up a list. Well - hey! - we got two for ya.
How about Beverage Warehouse in Winooski. It's a wonder they have so much BEVERAGE!
And how about Basketville. They are much more than baskets, you know. By the way - who's the Mayor of Basketville? Seems like a nice cushy job to us.

2. Energy bill, H.520 starring Vermont Yankee - One of the most talked about initiatives in years. We told you months ago this bill would be vetoed and sustained, and it will.
Great line from Repub chair Rob Roper in My Turn. "Hopefully, Peter Shumlin and House Speaker Gaye Symington will take this lesson to heart, and refocus their energy - efficiently - on building a strong, sustainable, and affordable economic environment..."
Did you get it. The bill is the Vermont Energy Efficiency and Affordability Act and Roper snuck in "...refocus their energy - efficiently - on..." One of the best play on words we've seen this year.
Vermont Yank has a strong lobby, thanks to it's 600+ employees, millions in tax revenues it gives to Bratt and the state, and Dem softening on nuke power, thanks to all the bad press on oil reliance.

3. Why are the Lifts Running at Bolton Valley? - For a very cool reason, beloved. Take the lift up with your trusty mountain bike and cruise down on one of a dozen trails. All for 30 bucks a day.
Beats pickin' your butt with a butter knife.

4. Springfield, Vermont - Home of the Simpsons? - We just heard that Vermont has a great chance (in the top three) of being picked for the new movie. YEEHAW!!!!!!

5. Five Corners Update - Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners just as the light turned red. Darn! Knowing I had hours, possibly days 'til the light went green, I got out my DVD player and watched every Harry Potter movie - TWICE! Had to ready for the new one coming out. Isn't it great that none of the Potter actor kids are in rehab, yet?

6. Vermont Times - Picked up a copy of the Vermont Times yesterday, upping its readership to 12. Just when we were wondering why anyone would grab this paper, we came across a kick-ass crossword puzzle. Truly magnificent! And free! You go, Vermont Times! You rock wickedly.

7. Next Generation Tot Finder in Williston - Yeah, the program is back. The Williston Fire Department has new stickers for your young 'un's bedroom door. The program was changed due to predators seeing the stickers on the outside windows. Now the stickers are placed inside.

8. Vermont Guardian Ad in 2007 Mozart Program - What? Didn't Vermont Guardian fold? Considerable Hum re: the Guardian half page ad in the extravagantly glossy Vermont Mozart Festival summer guide. Maybe it was secured before the VG left the building. Dunno.

9. Free Press Workers Parking at Gutterson? - Well, not quite, but soon they will be scrambling for spots. Freyne's Inside Track scoops the daily.

Bonus 10th Hummer - Please check out Haik's thoughts on, well, lots of things. They're heartfelt, and they're really interesting.

Bye for now. Love you.





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