MONDAY'S HUM (04-30-07)

SNARKY BOY RIPS BARUTH
VERMONT DAILY BRIEFING ON RECEIVING END OF HILARIOUS SLAMMA-JAMMA
In a scathing superpost, Snarkapotamus reams PB a new you-know-what. Here's a sampling:

"The impeachment crowd is way too lively for sleepy Baruth..."

"The blogging ego trip known as Philip Baruth..."

"We all know by now that an exciting political event for Phil is one in which he's photographed with a political player. Look at me! Look at me! And then, once his lips have been pried off the buttocks of the player..."

For more goods from the funniest blogger in Vermont, go here and then scroll down.

FRIDAY'S HUM (04-27-07)

88 YEAR-OLD PROTESTER ARRESTED AT VT. YANKEE
YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO BE AN ACTIVIST!
Read all about in the Times-Argus.

'MY TURN' PIECE SHOOTS FROM THE HIP
CONTRIBUTOR JOE KLOPFENSTEIN SAYS, "IT'S TIME TO GET RID OF THE GUNS!"
Access the Burlington Free Press story here.

41 YEAR-OLD FOXX SPOTTED IN CHITTENDEN COUNTY
Jenny Foxx, that is. Yes, the Eagle Country personality turns 41 today, and a hoedown celebrating her b-day is scheduled for tonight, at Murray's watering hole in Essex Junction, with Roadhouse Charlie providing the Johnny Cash tunes. Yeehaw!
Speaking of Eagle Country 97.5, the new top 40 boot stompin' station has vaulted out of the blocks, judjing by the HUM on the street. Click here for their website.

MISTREATED HORSE NEEDS GOOD HOME
Go here if interested.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM (04-25-07)

TOP 9 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

1. UVM HUNGER STRIKE - Heck, with the obesity rate on campus rising steadily, maybe more of these kids should go on a hunger strike.
2. VERMONT IMPEACHMENT INITIATIVE - Since the legislature has had such a great session, achieving all its goals, why not focus on the impeachment thing. They deserve it.
3. SENDING PRISONERS OUT OF STATE - Can't we bring 'em back and have them work on the crumbling roads and bridges?
   
4. BURNING QUESTION OF THE WEEK - Why did Joe Trapani leave the men's hoop team? Why? Why? Why? If anyone knows...
5. NEAL LUNDERVILLE - We saw him talking to the lunch lady the other day. What do you think they were discussing?
6. BURLINGTON DEPARTMENT HEADS - So the head of Burlington Electric makes 110K and the library director makes 67K. Hmmm.
7. VERMONT MAPLE FESTIVAL - It's this weekend. Would you drive 20 miles to slurp a yummy maple creemee while listening to Banjo Dan and the Midnight Plowboys. We would! (By the way - they're playing Saturday afternoon)
8. MARSELIS PARSONS CELEBRATES FORTY YEARS ON CHANNEL 3 - Story here.
9. THINKING PERENNIALS? - Vermont's own Leonard Perry's website is blooming.
   

MONDAY'S HUM (04-23-07)

SHE'S GONE
POPULAR BLOG BOWING OUT GRACEFULLY
She's Right, one of the Hum's favorite blogs, is saying au revoir.

Read The Last She's Right Post, Ever.

We'll miss you, Charity! If you're ever at the Five Corners, look around. Maybe we'll be hanging out.

FRIDAY'S HUM (04-20-07)

LEOPOLD, OTHERS BLAST SEVEN DAYS
COVER STORY ON BURLINGTON CITY TREASURER USED NUMEROUS 'ANONYMOUS' QUOTES
Kevin Kelley's Seven Days lead piece on city treasurer Jonathan Leopold was an unintentional primer on how not to craft a responsible article. Kelley's BIG investigative submission used the following:
"Many political insiders suggest..."
"Many Democrats, and even some Progressives, discreetly..."
"One well-known figure, requesting anonymity..."
"Another well-placed official..."
"Pols and pundits..."
"But sources who are close to both--and do not want their names associated with critisisms of the current treasurer..."
"One former city official cites the example..."
"But that's just a ruse on Leopold's part, charges a left-leaning former city councilor..."
"Some veterans of Burlington mayoral campaigns say..."

Hmmm. Maybe that's why Kelley writes for a free, small-market weekly instead of a major. Who knows. But the proof is in the pudding, er, anonymous sourcing.

To Kelly's credit, he did use some actual quotes from actual people, including councilors Kurt Wright and Joan Shannon.

Go ahead and read the piece; it's fun trying to find all the unnamed quotes, kind of like a treasure hunt.

Here's the 4-11-07 Leopold story and here are letters, including one penned by Leopold himself, from 4-18-07.


ALEC BALDWIN BARRED FROM SEEING DAUGHTER
DIVORCED DEMOCRATIC ACTIVIST HURLS THREATS AND INSULTS AT 11-YEAR-OLD
Yeah, we like to keep it local - but you gotta hear this.


FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday and my car died. Sensing it was a major engine problem, and knowing I had oodles of time, I jacked the car up, put a pulley on the motor, extracted it from the housing, and went about my business trying to fix the darn thing. I was about halfway finished when...THE LIGHT CHANGED!
So I waved at the motorists behind me to go around and kept working. Luckily, I was able to make the necessary repairs before the next light turned green, and everything was hunky dory.
Maybe an out of work mechanic could hang around the Five Corners and make some extra cash working on cars! Why not.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM (04-18-07)

UVM LIBRARIES RECEIVING BIG PRESS
SMASHING NEW 'SPECIAL COLLECTIONS' WEBSITE UNVEILED; ARCHIVED DOCS AND PHOTOS NOW ONLINE!
It's big news. Everyone is talking about it. On Monday, UVM announced:

UVM MARKS NATIONAL LIBRARY WEEK BY OPENING CENTER FOR DIGITAL INITIATIVES

Posted: Monday, April 16 2007

UNIQUE VERMONT HISTORICAL DOCUMENTS AVAILABLE ONLINE

BURLINGTON, APRIL 16 – The University of Vermont Libraries launched the Center for Digital Initiatives (CDI) today, the first day of National Libraries Week, a new online resource that allows any user with Internet access to view and search documents and photographs from the university’s Special Collections. The CDI Web site is located at http://cdi.uvm.edu.

Previously, library patrons had to visit Bailey/Howe Library and wear white gloves to view these often fragile materials. The CDI allows them to access UVM's signature collections in digital form from a remote location.

CDI’s initial collection – more will follow – is a rich, searchable archive of more than 1,000 pages of materials generated by eight Vermont Congressmen, including such well know figures as George Aiken and Robert Stafford, documenting topics ranging from the abolition of slavery to social life in Washington, D.C. The first document dates from 1818, the last from 2004. The collection also includes photographs.

The collection is organized in categories that grew out of recurrent themes in the materials: Dairy and the U.S. Congress, Letters Home from Congress and Speeches.

MONDAY'S HUM (04-16-07)

NEW FEATURE EVERY MONDAY
TOP 9 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK!

1. SNOWSTORM IN APRIL - Heck, look at the bright side. The white stuff covers up the cigarette butts for another few days.
2. VERMONTERS FOR OBAMA - Sure, he's admitted doing coke and has just a tad more political experience than Jack McMullen, but hey, he's so gosh darned good looking! And anyone's better than the cold, steely, enchantress of equivocation --- HILLARY!
3. DOONESBURY AND VERMONT - Trudeau's havin' a ball with the Vt. impeachment thing, but what really hit hard was Sunday's cartoon, spotlighting the infidelities of Mssrs. McCain, Guiliani and Gingrich. Wow! We knew Guiliani and Gingrich cheated, but McCain? Say it ain't so. Mitt's still clean, isn't he?
   
4. OH, WHAT A TANGLED CITY COUNCIL WE WEAVE - Kurt Wright is president of the Burlington City Council? Doesn't surprise us. Kurt's like one of those whack-a-moles you see at the arcade - you bop him over the head but it doesn't matter. He just keeps showing up. And what's going on with Tim Ashe. Is he really Peter Freyne's bosses' boyfriend? Does that help? Also, Who do the Dems hate more - the Progs or the Repubs? And will Kurt run for Lieutenant Gov if Dubes runs for Governor? So many questions.
5. GOVERNOR DOUGLAS, MACHO MAN - Nobody wants to admit it 'cuz Gaye's a good soul, but she is way out of Jocular Jim's league. The Gov can play hardball, albeit in a sophisticated, kinda geeky way. He's got Symington spinning around so fast she could be a major new energy source for the Green Mountain State, replacing, umm, wind power.
   
6. BACKWARD BANDIT STILL ANONYMOUS - C'mon! Who is he? We gotta know! Whattdaya mean you can't disclose his name! Bullcrappy!
7. JAZZ FESTIVAL BLUES - That's it? That's all we get? Chick Corea and Bela Fleck? Damn! Chick WAS okay, but c'mon. Does he still play an instrument? And Bela. Jeez, isn't he in the area every two weeks. Thank heavens Kenny Garrett's comin'. He's cool.
8. LONERGAN'S BUYING US ALL A ROUND - So what if UVM hoop coach Mike Lonergan makes five times more than an average social service case worker? What's more important? Men's college basketball or domestic abuse?
   
9. ANNA,WE HARDLY KNEW YE - The father of Anna's kid has been ascertained. Stop saying Joe McNeil did it!
   

FRIDAY'S HUM (04-13-07)

HUM TWEAKS BLOGPILE
It's been a while since we've pruned our blogpile, so we're gettin' the deadwood out and the scrap wood in, so to speak. Vermont Scrap Wood is just one of the "young bucks" we're bringing in to freshen up the joint.
Take a look.

Vermont Scrap Wood is a well-written, pol-edu site coming from some well connected Vermonters.

Blazing Indiscretions is a snappy site featuring bits on Burlington politics and lots more.

Snarky Boy. We had to bring in the Snark, which is probably the blog getting the most hum right about now. After reading Snarkposts, you're either laughing out loud or mad as hell. Your choice.

Vermont Tiger is a new pol blog everyone's talking about.

Rednalsi of Vermont is a wonderfully intelligent effort with an outdoorsy approach. We'll be scoping it on our blog rounds.
Oh, and check out the Rednalsi Vermont Trivia Challenge. It's fun.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM (04-11-07)

RIGHT ON, KURT !
Kurt Wright won the Burlington city council presidency with an unsurprising 8-6 margin over Progressive Tim Ashe on Monday. "Real Guy" Kurt, who's as comfy on a stool at T. Rugg's Tavern as he is in the chamber, proves that one can be dedicated to a certain party, yet be fair-minded and have the respect of most everyone. There were also some Dem-Prog undercurrents running through this prez election, and Good 'Ol Kurt seemed to be the right fit at the right time. Here's a list of who VOTED FOR Kurt:
Dems - Montroll,Adrian, Shannon, Keogh
Indy - Perry
Repub - Wright, Descelles, Gutchell

Peter Freyne goes back in time to remember Kurt when he worked at Kerry's, effortlessly bagging groceries and chewing the political fat simultaneously. While Freyne seemed to be purchasing 69 cent Uteys, I was jawing with Kurt about the future of Burlington while he wrapped my 89 cent 40 ouncer of Haffenreffer nice and snuggly, with only the tip showing. Yum!

MONDAY'S HUM (04-09-07)

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light just as Easter service was commencing. Yeah, Easter service. The Assembly of Jesus figured, hey, as long as motorists are sitting at the intersection for a long period of time, why not preach the Word to a captive audience?
So we prayed and sang glorious hymns as we idled, and opened our windows to shout "Peace be with you!" to fellow drivers and passengers. It was a cold morning, so the plumes of exhaust partially obstructed our view of the minister, who was standing in the middle of the intersection, but that was fine, because the spirit was guiding us along.
There was a flatbed carrying a choir, and the beautiful music wafted through the Five Corners; Essex residents later told me they could hear the music inside Big Lots, where Easter merchandise was reduced to a mind-boggling 95% off!
At the end of the celebration, we, the mobile congregation, honked our horns and drove off, feeling wonderfully enriched.
God, I love the Essex Junction Five Corners!

102-YEAR-OLD SHOOTS HOLE-IN-ONE
No shit! Elsie McLean, 102, of Chico, California, got an ace. Here is the link of links.

FRIDAY'S HUM (04-06-07)

TEACHER PUNISHES KINDERGARTEN BOYS; PUTS CLOTHESPINS ON THEIR LIPS !
SIX-YEAR-OLD BOYS SPEECHLESS!
Check out this developing story.

HUM STORY FULL OF CRAP
CHINESE WOMAN PLUNGES SIX STORIES INTO PILE OF EXCREMENT; SLIGHTLY INJURED
She was hanging laundry and leaned out a little too far and...poops, er, oops. She fell from her sixth floor balcony, right when fecal control technicians on the ground below were servicing the septic tank. Although she probably soiled her pants on the way down and purportedly had a shitty landing, Lucky Ling was only injured a bit, thanks to the wall of waste, well, more like a mound of muck.

You might say she fell in the line of doodie.

And no - her name is not Dung Ho.

This is a true story.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM (04-04-07)

SUCKS TO BE GAYE
EMBATTLED SPEAKER BLASTED AGAIN
Yeah, it must suck to be Gaye Symington right about now.

Dems have got to be unhappy with her leadership.
Progs are teed off over Gaye's inaction re: the impeachment initiative.
Righties can't stand her because...well, just because.

Scope out this scathing letter in yesterday's Free Press. The writer, a prog, we guess, tells Gaye to read the constitution! Ouch.

Gaye made The Daily Kos, a liberal site which receives millions of visitors, and was accused of "watching the clock", whatever that means.

And don't forget Ex-Repub talkbag Jim Barnett and his blistering attack on Gaye's patriotism.


BOY, IS HE GOOD LOOKING !
ROMNEY RAISES 21 MIL IN THREE MONTHS
Okay. Let's break it down to the most simplistic terms. Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are doing well in early polls and are also kicking butt on the money grubbing trail.
Why? They're both good looking dudes, that's why!
Political gurus on TV can talk for days on the intricacies of why Romney and Obama are leaders at this point. Don't listen. Don't overanalyze.
Studies have been done on beautiful people running for political office. These studies show that people are more inclined to vote for somebody pleasing to the eye. So there.
As far as Hillary goes...