WEEKLY MEDIA REVIEW (3-28-2010)

HUM HOT SHEET

1. DUBIE ELECTED GOVERNOR
If the Rasmussen report's prediction comes true, that's what will happen. The Rasmussen Reports Election 2010 survey also slams Dem Peter Shumlin , his very unfavorably numbers are downright embarrassing. Of course, some folks think the RR leans right of center, according to Tom Kearney on VPT's Vermont This Week.
Here are the results right from the horse's mouth.

2. HOCUS POCUS NEXUS ELEXUS ENTERGY NIXED
New York Public Service Commission determined that six nuke plants being doled off to a sep company would not be cool, or not in the public interest, to put it more qualitatively. Besides, the regulators are worried that the spin-off could have problemo dinero, and guess who gets stuck with the tab, beloved?
We think the Brattleboro Reformer had the best article on the whole stinking mess.

3. THIEF ASKS INVESTIGATING OFFICER FOR DIRECTIONS
One of the reasons we love the Caledonian-Record.

4. BURLINGTON TELECON FINDS 386,000 UNDER COUCH CUSHIONS
We heard the loan payment cash came from a Citicredit Leasing escrow account, but one of our intrepid reporters thought he saw the BT staff looking under furniture for loose change. Let's just agree to disagree.
Anyway, Burlington Telecon is safe until what, June, when they have to cough up more dough to the loan dogs.

5. FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was so cold at the Essex Junction Five Corners this morning, the lights malfunctioned and were all stuck on green. It was great.

Imagine a giant version of bumper cars.
Soon frenzied motorists were going after other frenzied motorists, or going to assist less fortunate participants in the impromptu Five Corners Derby.
We saw a pack of Hondas going after a Hummer, finally locking it in a death embrace while a hybrid screamed over and flattened the evil gas guzzler's tires.
Also noticed a Chevy pickup chasing a Ford, catching it and ripping off the 'Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Chevys' bumper sticker. Things were chaotic !
We sat stunned as a sidewalk plow and a old Fiesta tangled, with the sidewalk plow getting the best of it.
An SUV and a Dodge Caravan mixed it up, with the crusty old Caravan holding its own.

It was so cold in our car, words froze in the air! If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire.

Oh, how we long for warmer days at the Five Corners; we're getting sick of having to warm our toes on the exhaust pipe of the vehicle directly in front of us.
Ah, summer at the intersection. The smell of warm exhaust, picnicking on the hood of our car, playing hackysack with some of the younger idlers.

Shoot, we can dream, can't we?

MARCH 2010 HUM

BUMPER SNICKERS SEEN IN VERMONT
SEEN A GOOD ONE LATELY ? LET US KNOW.

If The World Didn't Suck, We'd All Fall Off!

Gardeners Do It In The Dirt

A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Well, Night

Atheism Is A Non-prophet Organization

Get Off My Ass Before I Start To Like It

Tarrant

Don't Jersey Vermont

Don't Make Me Come Down There - God

Vermont: Yep

VERMONT HUM REMINISCES. HERE'S THE VERY FIRST POST, DATED MARCH 18, 2006.

MAPLE SYRUP HOT FLASH
Please don't be scared away,beloved, by all the chatter regarding an iffy crop of maple syrup this year. We just purchased a half gallon from Palmer's Sugarhouse in Shelburne and it was extra yummy on our blueberry pancakes.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, LADS AND LASSIES
Seamus and Paddy were getting ready to go on a camping trip.
Seamus says," I'm taking along a gallon of whiskey, just in case of rattlesnake bites. What are you taking?"
Paddy says,"Two rattlesnakes!"


FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light just as a train was blowing through town. Oh, great! Twice the wait. Four hours instead of two.
So I left the van boxed in at the intersection, walked home and fired up my second car, an old beaut I've named Betty. She's an old Buick, tough as nails with a tender soul. Just my type.
Betty and I tooled around town, did errands, even caught lunch at Joyce's Noodle House at the Essex Outlet Fair. I think it was Joyce herself who took my order. Nice smile.
After a few hours, Betty looked tired so I guided her back to the homestead. She seemed grateful to have been able to stretch her legs, er, ball joints. I kissed her hood, and walked off quietly, feeling at peace with the Junction.
I walked back to the Five Corners, got in the van, and only had to wait about 20 minutes for the light to finally change. It was a nice day.

The lesson here is this: If you're stuck at the Five Corners with no end in sight, simply leave your car and go get another one. Do what you have to do and then go back to the light and retrieve your first car. It's really not so bad!