Wednesday

APRIL THE 28TH, 2010

FREEP HEAVY SMOKES DUBIE
In a smoldering report from the road, BFP heavyweight Mike Townsend noticed a few early Brian Dubie Governor lawn signs, and proceeded to point out that the Dems had zero signs, and Dubes was " the Sarah Palin of the 2010 campaign for Vermont Governor." WHOOOEEE!
Check out the lambasting here.
Note - The Headline is different online than the print edition.

Five Corners Update
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners just as the light went red. Dang!
I started to hunker down for a long nap when...SHAZAM! I heard something very interesting on the radio. They were saying we can all go to our town offices and look at everyone's property tax rebate data. Natch!
It seems that because of the prebate funds going to the town and property tax records being public stuff, we can go find out, with some simple math, what everyone makes. Nice!

So I got out of the car and went to the town office, 'cuz I wanted to know what Hal down the street brought home for payola. Wow! He's doin' okay! Time to hit him up for a loan!

Anyway, it was a fine time figuring out all the earnings in Essex, but before I knew it, two hours had passed, Yikes! I had to back to the car! What if the light changed? Naw. Didn't have to worry about that!


Nude Taser Tag in Brattleboro
Bill in Burlington said he had the worst dream the other night.
He was walking, naked, down the street in Brattleboro when a police officer ran up and told him that public nudity was outlawed. When poor Bill protested, the cop tasered him - right on the peepee!! Ouch!
Bill said he woke up sweating. Don't blame him.

Friday

THE 23RD OF APRIL, 2010

NH STATE LIQUOR COMMISSIONER CHARGED WITH DUI
Even the Hum is speechless on this one. Here's Yahoo News.


FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Had a sleepover at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light last night. Arrived around 7 p.m., sensing it was going to be a long wait. So we got in our jammies, opened the bag of unshelled peanuts, and threw Caddyshack into the portable DVD player. Don't you love that movie? We think Rodney Dangerfield's death should have been a national day of mourning.
Anyway, when the light changed the next morning, we drove off, leaving the intersection strewn with peanut shells, or as they call them in Georgia - mulch!
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THE 16TH OF APRIL, 2010

AVERAGE HARLEY 10 TIMES LOUDER THAN F-35
When detractors claimed that the new F-35s were twice as loud as the F-16s, we almost pooped our sweatpants. Try coming over to Essex Junction on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, in early spring, when the Forsythias are yellow yellow. We can't even hear the jets overhead - the Harleys are drowning them out!  At least the jets make a ton of noise for a reason, something having to do with umm... protecting us!

We've been following the back and forth between noise activists and the Vermont Air Guard and anxiously awaited the results of the big Thursday pow-wow between civic leaders and the military.
 Lots of coverage by the local media; we found the BFP and Joel Banner Baird to have the goods. Don't forget to read the comments at the end of the Free Press article. 
 BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS
Dandelions spotted; old men with nothing to do now have something to do!


STATE PORN BLOCKING INITIATIVE MIGHT RECEIVE LIMP RESPONSE
With all the various pornography, sports, social media and gambling sites on the internet, it's amazing that anyone who works in an office gets anything done. The State of Vermont is grappling with such a dilemma; what to do about workers who are spending too much time viewing inappropriate material.
Strapping filters on state rigs is expected to run from 100k to 150k, which could prove prohibitive in the present fiscal environment.
We've got a few suggestions:
  1. Reverse pyschology - Tell employees that porn viewing is okay, even encouraged (employee well-being), IF all expected work for the day is completed in a timely and competent manner.
  2. Make a dramatic announcement that state-of-the-art computer filters have been installed, when actually zero action has taken place. If people wonder where the money came from for the software, tell them Bill Gates chipped in. It would be bluff central.
  3. Have a bank of computers in the break room; five would have 24/7 porn, three would offer ESPN.com, seven would generously allow gambling access, and yet another would feature BetterHomesandGardens.com. Transparency.
  4. Create a 15 minute period every 4 hours, where all workers are implored to relax and take "porn breaks", thereby evening the playing field and blowing off steam, as it were.

HOW COME MY SAT PROVIDER DOESN'T OFFER A TIGER WOODS CHANNEL ?
Williston Observer with a funny cartoon in April 15 edition.
TV news reporter out on city street with asteroids falling all around, with the caption, "But First, the Latest On Tiger."
We tried to find the cartoon on The Observer website, but failed. So you'll have to drive to Williston and pick up a copy. What the heck. While you're at it, stop and hit some balls. In the rain.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
We waited for so long at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday that a local cop came along and arrested us for loitering! When I tried to explain that I was waiting for the light to change, the cop just laughed and said," That's life in the Junction, Baby!"

THE 9TH OF APRIL , 2010

GOVERNOR DOUGLAS STEAMED AT LEGISLATIVE LEADERS; THREATENS TO JOIN TALIBAN
* Okay, we made up the part about Gentle Jim joining the Taliban - but he is ripped at the Senate for holding up a jobs bill that Douglas expected to push through in late January or early Feb. Concerns about the Vermont Telecommunications Authority, not Burlington Telecom, is grinding the process to a crawl, but leaders are saying the vote is right around the corner.

SIGN OF THE CROSS
* Burlington has finally hired a budget analyst, as if they need one. LOL LOL LOL LOL...
The lucky dog is George Cross, former Dem state rep and school superintendent. Anonymous sources say the search was narrowed to Cross, Alan Greenspan, and the former Isle La Motte town clerk, with GC getting the nod.

VPR BIASED ?
* Is Vermont Public Radio biased toward the Red Sox? Whether it's Mitch Wakelieb talking about the Sox, or the one that writes the newsletter (always forget her name - let's call her Youkette) writing that she's a fan, OR, the station sponsoring yearly trips to Fenway, it's clearly evident there's a leaning toward the left - of New York, that is. Facing south.
We would bet 17 million Burlington Telecom dollars that VPR's listenership are/is 30-50% Yankee fans, who probably give some of their cold hard cash to various station fundraisers. Hmmm.
By the way, have you checked out the price of the trip to Fenway, which includes a ticket, bus ride, VPR sticker, Deb Markowitz bobblehead(just a rumor)and a complimentary tour of the park. It's only $275! No, not $75. $275. Ouch! Let's see. $50 for the seat, $50 for the bus... oh, never mind.



BILL S.88 (HEALTHY VERMONT) PASSES SENATE
 VT WORKERS CENTER ORGANIZERS SO HAPPY THEY ALMOST PEED THEIR PANTS! 

* Note to Vermont Workers Center
Get some names on your website. More cred will be attained if there is some individual branding. When one scopes the site, one sees many good things, but zero contact names. Don't hide. You're doing good work. Let the folks who are unfamiliar with your org know who you are. 

(Press release from Vermont Workers Center)
Montpelier - On Wednesday, April 7, the Vermont Senate passed S.88 by an overwhelming majority of 28-2. Passage of this bill by the Senate is a major step toward recognizing the human right to healthcare in Vermont and is an important victory for the "Healthcare Is A Human Right" Campaign. The bill calls for the hiring of consultants to design three health care models, one of which must be a single payer system that is administered by government, publicly financed and decoupled from employment. All three of the models must meet the Healthcare is a Human Right principles of universal access and coverage, be comprehensive and affordable, be transparent in design and must ensure public participation in the design, implementation, evaluation, and accountability. The designs also have to include implementation timelines beginning no later than July, 2012.
"This vote in the Senate is a huge victory for us. When we started this campaign, across the board Statehouse insiders this couldn't be done.  But as a result of this campaign and the voices of thousands of Vermonters telling them that Vermont should lead the nation in making healthcare a public good for all, we are changing what is possible," said Walter Carpenter, who lives in Montpelier and volunteered with the campaign after struggles with the healthcare system that brought him near death as result of insurance companies denied coverage for care. " 
The Healthcare is a Human Right Campaign started building a grassroots network to change what was "politically possible" in healthcare reform in 2008.  THis past Fall they held eleven People's Forums on Healthcare with almost eighty state legislators and over eight hundred total participants testifying to the healthcare crisis in communities acoss the state and laying out principles that comprise the right to healthcare.  The improved S.88 "Healthy Vermont" Bill adopted languages and frameworks that include these principles. 
"We thank our Senators for their votes, and now look to their fellow legislators in the House to do the right thing" says Peg Franzen, Policy Committee Chair for the Campaign. The Campaign is currently gearing up for a huge May 1st Rally at the Statehouse, which has been billed as the largest rally of its kind in Vermont's history. The main purpose of the rally is to celebrate the Campaign's achievements so far, to keep building the momentum for universal single-payer healthcare, and to keep the pressure on the House of Representatives.
For a full analysis of the just-passed S88 and more information on the campaign, please visit the Campaign's website at www.workerscenter.org/healthcare. The "Healthcare Is A Human Right" Campaign also has local leaders and organizers spread throughout the state in every community and they are available for interviews by any news organization.

MORE INFO:
- Seven Days coverage of "We-Ain't-No-Fools-Day" http://7d.blogs.com/blurt/2010/04/health-care-reform-in-vermont-on-life-support.html
Also see. www.nofools.org
- New short 9 minute film released on the Healthcare Is A Human Right Campaign, "If Vermont Leads, The Rest of the Nation Will Follow". www.workerscenter.org/movie
- Healthcare Is A Human Right Campaign website: including frequently asked questions, analysis of federal and state health bills and much more. www.workerscenter.org/healthcare
- "Sen. Racine unveils health bill; Goal is universal coverage in Vermont" Times Argus/Rutland Herald. http://www.timesargus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100310/NEWS02/310...
- "VT. health reform tops January Agenda" VT Press Bureau http://www.timesargus.com/article/RH/20091214/NEWS03/912140360
- "To Your Health" 12/22/09 Seven Days column by Shay Totten http://www.7dvt.com/2009your-health
- Dec 10: Human Rights Day Report with Nurses & Sen. Racine: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/190
- Sen. Racine Announces Hearings on S.88/H.100: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/185
- Rutland Herald Editorial endorses HCHR Campaign: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/138
- Musicians launch benefit CD for HCHR Campaign: http://vermontcareforall.org/
- VPR's All Things Considered with Scott Ainslie, musician and HCHR leader. Link to listen http://www.vpr.net/flash/audio_player/audio_player.php?id=29863
- Dec 5: The Vermont NEA, the State's Largest Union Gets Behind HCHR Campaign http://www.workerscenter.org/node/189
- Healthcare Is A Human Right Campaign: www.workerscenter.org/healthcare
- Summary of bills S.88/H.100: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/168
- Burlington Free Press My Turn "Vermont Must Lead The Way" http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20091202/OPINION02/912020315/...
- Vermont Public Radio Report on HCHR: http://www.workerscenter.org/node/134


HALFWIT OF THE MONTH
* Dude from Massachusetts on his way to Springfield, Vt jail to serve time for DUI. Arrives at the correctional facility, hammered, and admits he drove himself there. Prison official gets on the horn, calls police and dude gets processed for second deewee. Please excuse me while I look at the wall and shake my head in utter disbelief.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
* Arrived at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday around noon. A thought popped in my noggin. "I'm hungry, I'm craving a grinder, Martone's is right there, and the I'll be idling for over an hour waiting for this stupid light to turn green." So I put the car in park, went and got the grinder and had a fabulous lunch skimming the latest copy of the North Avenue News. You know, I think the Five Corners is quickly becoming one of my favorite destinations.!

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