YES. IT'S MAY 24th,2010

AHHH. MILTON IN THE SPRINGTIME.

On May Morning
 by John Milton

Now the bright morning Star, Day's harbinger,
Comes dancing from the East, and leads with her
The Flowery May, who from her green lap throws
The yellow Cowslip, and the pale Primrose.
Hail bounteous May that dost inspire
Mirth and youth, and warm desire,
Woods and Groves, are of thy dressing,
Hill and Dale, doth boast thy blessing.
Thus we salute thee with our early Song,
And welcome thee, and wish thee long.


FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners light yesterday and my car died. Sensing it was a major engine problem, and knowing I had oodles of time, I jacked the car up, put a pulley on the motor, extracted it from the housing, and went about my business trying to fix the darn thing. I was about halfway finished when...THE LIGHT CHANGED!
So I waved at the motorists behind me to go around and kept working. Luckily, I was able to make the necessary repairs before the next light turned green, and everything was hunky dory.
Maybe an out of work mechanic could hang around the Five Corners and make some extra cash working on cars! Why not.

WE BELIEVE IT IS MAY 15, 2010

 MONTREAL CANADIENS AMAZING. BOSTON BRUINS CHOKING STINKING RING-TAILED LOSERS.
We were paid 16 dollars by Eddie to write and publish that headline.

VPR PLEDGE DRIVE BLUES

What a killer tune that would be, eh?

My baby, yeah, she threw me out
couldn't stand to hear that pledge drive no more
I told her it be over soon
but my baby said it's over now...  (guitar riff)

So anyway - is that pledge drive on VPR longer than usual or is it just me? If they don't watch out, it's gonna bleed into the next one...in October! You'd think with all the thinkers they got in that building, they could come up with a more creative way to raise the coin, instead of bugging these poor loyal listeners who have already shelled out dime after dime, year after year. Doesn't make much sense to this old hedgehog.
I told one cult member,er, staffer, that I'd give ONLY if all the salaries of VPR personnel were posted on the website. Ain't seen it yet.

SHINY HAPPY BALANCED BUDGET

Yeah! The Vermont budget became magically balanced. Our thoughts:
1. Gov Smoothie/Hardball came out smelling pretty sweet. Such influence for a 'lame duckie'. Gentle Jim knew the Dem leadership had to soften the process; because most of them are running for higher office, they needed to show us Vermonters that they could get the freaking job done without a bunch of turbulence. As Graffu said on CAX, "they needed to show they could govern." We call political expert Chris Graff  "Graffu", because that's a combo of Graff and guru. Most of what he says is right on, most of the time.

2. In order to fully understand how the budget was balanced, Vermont Hum is going to have to bring in an accountant, translator, PR consultant, rolfer, and Psychic Nan O'Brien, so it'll be a while before we can give you a structured, detailed, succinct analysis. In the meantime - how about those Habs.

3. Someone wrote the Free Press suggesting that the individuals running for Governor are the ones responsible for the current mess. Hmmm.

ADDISON COUNTY HAS A ROLLER DERBY TEAM

This is why we just love the Addison County Independent. Where else, my friends, where else?

MAY THE 11TH, 2010

 LOCAL VOCAL
Lots of chatter about 'buy local' lately. Hope this helps.

THE NEGATIVES

• Many people don't care about buying local because they feel more comfortable browsing at a larger chain store. Case in point. A gal we know believes in keeping it local - except for books. When she wants to shop for books she loves Barnes & Noble 'cuz she can slip in relatively unnoticed and browse to her heart's content without being watched or bothered. She says shopping at a small bookseller is a nervous experience; almost like the clerk is waiting for her.
• Buying local doesn't necessarily mean the money one spends is put to good use. What if Jane Doe believes in buying local and has her hair done by an independent hair cutter, who then takes Jane's money and buys crack. Who knows? At least spending money with a large corporation ensures that your money is looked at more judiciously, Enron, Tyco etc. notwithstanding.
• Scores of purchasers are only looking out for themselves and could care less about the 'big picture'. They just want the best price, period.

THE POSITIVES

• Buying local, especially if the money chain goes unbroken, as with Vermont Bread, increases community spirit and keeps the dough in the hands of like- minded souls.
• A sense of greater control. Jane Doe buys from Payless and she has no clue where that money ends up. She buys from a shoe store in Burlington, she has a pretty good idea where the money might go.
• Let's say Jane buys a toy from Learning Express. She feels she is getting a quality item and she also likes the fact that the toy was made in Vermont, or Ohio, not a piece of junk made in China sold by any one of the ubiquitious Williston box stores. That means something to her.

We have many more positives but we have to get going. (to the Five Corners)

RACE TO THE GRAVE

Thunder Road opened yesterday and record cigarette sales were reported in the Barre area, although it was reported, still unsubstantiated, that there was a woman seen in the racetrack area without a butt dangling from her mouth. We're still working on this story.
 
BRONX BOMBER BABBLE
Have you listened to a Yanks game on the radio lately? My God, there is sponsor for everything!
Announcer: " That last strikeout was sponsored by Foxwoods".
Announcer: " The pitching change is brought to you by Ford."
Susan: " John Sterling's bathroom break was brought to you by Scott toilet paper."
Of course, the greedy corporate bean counters figured out long ago that they could make money during the play by play by insidiously slipping in sponsorships and quick branding, such as " We're coming to you tonight from the Lowe's broadcast booth ", or " Posada holds on to the ball, so we're going to give him the Allstate Good Hands award." but these days the 'sponsorships' have been taken to a different level.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATENeed a petition signed? The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to go. There is a passive crowd there just waiting for something to do - or sign. With the light taking about 45 minutes to change, just think how many signatures one could get walking from car to car. In fact, maybe aspiring politicians could stand in the middle of the intersection and give speeches, and cars could honk if they didn't like what they were hearing!