WEEKEND HUM (09-01-07)

TOP 7 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK (so far)

LARRY CRAIG OVERLOAD; BRING BACK BRIT AND PARIS
"The Stall Guy", Larry Craig, used to sing with Jim Jeffords. Remember the Singing Senators.
Now he's singin' the blues. Maybe he belongs in sing sing. But we'd rather just tune him out.

MOLD FOUND AT VERMONT YANKEE
Just kidding. But, seriously. What's next over there in Vernon? A shooting? Plumbing problems? Termites? Who knows.

CROSSING THE BORDER? PRACTICE UP AT THE FIVE CORNERS!
Yeah, it takes a while to cross the border in to Canada. But try idling at the Essex Junction Five Corners for a few days and then do the border. It'll seem like a walk in the park.

YANKS BATTER BOSOX
Did you see the gold glove of Jason Giambi. Incredible!
Maybe he's more nimble now that he's 'roid free. Or maybe he was just PUMPED!!!

I'M NOT PAYING 75 CENTS FOR AIR!
Pulled up to the Jiffy Mart on 2A 'cuz I needed to put air in my rear tire. I noticed the sign on the air machine read 75 cents. WHAT! 75 CENTS! I told myself I would rather drive 100 trillion miles on a flat than spend 75!@#$%^ cents on a ripoff vending service stupid air thingy. Am I out of order here?
Editors note - Maplefields has free air. I just wasn't near one of their stations.

WILLISTON TEACHER TAUGHT GRANDMA AND MOM - NOW HAS DAUGHTER
This is cool. Check out the John Duncan story from the Williston Observer.

THOSE PERKY N.J. TOURISTS IN THEIR SHINY SUVs
Beautiful My Turn by Thalia Sparling in last Sunday's Free Press. Sparling compares the onslaught of summer visitors to a colony of carpenter ants. Funny stuff.

WEEKEND HUM (08-25-07)

TOP 5 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

AUDITOR SALMON FINDS FISHY BEHAVIOR
Does anyone know how I get a job with the Vermont Association of Hospitals ?
See, if I'm with that group, I can take anti-terrorism grant money and go party in Quebec City, drinks included! Wow! Where do I sign up ?
Hats off to Vt. Auditor Junior Salmon for digging through the administrative mud and uncovering this pearl. Though we liked former Aud Brocksie, maybe Junior ain't so bad.

Vermont Press Bureau's Louis Porter took the lead with this story and never looked back.
If you wanna know how the culprits spent some of the anti-terrorism money, click here.

CHARLES IN CHARGE...OF THE LANDFILL!
Scathing letter to the Free Press published Wednesday, August 22 by Charles Kogge of Hinesburg.
Charlie rips into the "self-concerned individuals" who are fighting the future CSWD landfill. Whether you're for or against, Charles has a good point. A lot of these people are spoiled brats with half-million dollar houses who are just looking out for themselves.
Hey, how much waste do you think is generated by a bunch of materialistic bozos living in a $500,000 cribs? Lots, huh?

VERMONT THIS WEEK UPDATE
VPT'S Vermont This Week taking considerable heat for stocking the panel (8-17) with liberal blowhards. Thing is - there aren't many media slugs in Vt. who aren't leftos.
Credit Captain Ledbetter with airing a couple of the angry letters to the show.
Listen to the show if you want.

ST. ALBANS MESSENGER HAS THIS REALLY COOL CRIME MAP
You got to see this to believe it. It's fun and you can see where the bad spots are in Snalbans.
It takes a sec to load, but it's worth it.

NEW ENGLAND FAT MAN'S CLUB
There used to be a club in Wells River where one had to be 200+ pounds in order to be listed as a member.
The president of the club weighed in at around 400 pounds, with the largest member tipping the scale at 473!
Access this piece at the Bradford Journal Opinion.

WEEKEND HUM (08-19-07)

TOP 7 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

SALOMON WIGGLE
Wow. Free Press foodie Deb Salomon puts down the cheese grater and writes about the things that piss her off. She rants forcefully about the overabundance of stupid reality shows, dog fighting, and the whole airline mess.
DS leaves us chuckling at the end as she moans about starlets driving drunk. She stops, and then exclaims: "Starlets Driving Drunk. Hey, that's a good name for a rock band."
Cool, Debbo. We make up band names, too. How's this one: The Columnists. Catchy, eh?

Got a band name? Use the comments, friend.

GOVERNOR SMOOTHIE'S ROLLING REVIVAL
Gov Douglas undertaking another talk tour - only this time his schedule is clearly stated, and everyone is encouraged to show up and shoot the bull with the master, even Demmies. Should be some interesting get togethers.
Here's more from the Times-Argus.

NEW ADDITION, NEW EDITION
VPR'S stellar midday show, Vermont Edition goes daily.
Jane Lindholm, a native Vermonter and Harvard grad, skips the small talk and delves right into the issues. Last week, various topics included wind energy pros and cons, loons, carbon emissions, Battle of Bennington and a powwow with Gov Smoothie. Good stuff so far.
Read Lindholm's bio here.

WHO NEEDS GUNS WHEN YOU GOT A CHAINSAW
Man attacks girlfriend with chainsaw. This happened last week in the sleepy village of Waitsfield.

RUTLAND HERALD PREDICTS ROMNEY AND CLINTON WILL BATTLE
They've got their reasons why. Access it right now.

CALEDONIAN-RECORD SLAPS AROUND GAYE AND SHUMMY
Editorial states that Symington and Shumlin have created a "kangaroo commission" with regards to gay marriage.
On your mark, get set, click.

PICARD EXPLAINS THE ZONING "THING"
Seven Days Ken Picard dissects the zoning lizard and does a admirable job. We can't afford to sleep through it.

WEEKEND HUM (08-11-07)

TOP 7 HUMMERS OF THE WEEK

Doyle Wins Demolition Derby
Long-time Vermont State Senator and JSC teach Bill Doyle won the Twin City Demo Derby this week. Congrats, Bill.
Only one problem. Doyle was the only one entered and now he has to pay for all the cars.
Seems the Senator wanted to test drive a car, even though he left his license elsewhere. The crew at Twin City Subaru allowed him to drive on the lot, where Doyle, 81, lost control and bammed three cars. He wasn't physically hurt but his ego took a beatin'.
Times-Argus had the best coverage on the "Derby".
We could just hear the Republican brass muttering, "Damn, we got us enough problems without this!" Yup.

Gold-Plated 94 Million Dollar Dump
Here's what the Burlington Free Press' Candy Page said, on Vermont This Week, about the new and improved price tag for the Williston landfill: "...it's very likely it will be scaled back." Ya think!

Stevo's Going Fishin'
Sturdy VPR newsman Steve Delaney signed off yesterday with the same low-key approach he's always taken. Mister Unassuming told us after 50 years in broadcasting he was retiring, and thirty seconds later he was gone. Our loss. Access SD's retirement announcement and last newscast right here.

Graceless
Lamer than usual cover on Seven Days this week with overrated media balloon Grace Potter grabbing some ugly guy's butt. Yuck!
Do you remember, as we do, the 7D covers of yesteryear being wittier, funnier, more powerful.
It seems like they're forcing it now.

The Traffic's Backed Up, Wish You Were Here
Vt Com Sec Kev Dorn wants to get high-techers back in Vermont. A recruitment drive aimed at Vermont college alums living in Boston, N.Y., etc. is underway, touting the peaceful, Green Acres way of life. Hah!
Wait'll the techies move back and face the lines on Williston Road. They'll wish they were back driving in Beantown!

Five Corners Update
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners just as the light went red. Dang!
I started to hunker down for a long nap when...SHAZAM! I heard something very interesting on the radio. They were saying we can all go to our town offices and look at everyone's property tax rebate data. Natch!
It seems that because of the prebate funds going to the town and property tax records being public stuff, we can go find out, with some simple math, what everyone makes. Nice!

So I got out of the car and went to the town office, 'cuz I wanted to know what Hal down the street brought home for payola. Wow! He's doin' okay! Time to hit him up for a loan!

Anyway, it was a fine time figuring out all the earnings in Essex, but before I knew it, two hours had passed, Yikes! I had to back to the car! What if the light changed? Naw. Didn't have to worry about that!

P.S. - Brush up on the property tax prebate story with the Rutland Herald.

Nude Taser Tag in Brattleboro
Bill in Burlington said he had the worst dream the other night.
He was walking, naked, down the street in Brattleboro when a police officer ran up and told him that public nudity was outlawed. When poor Bill protested, the cop tasered him - right on the peepee!! Ouch!
Bill said he woke up sweating. Don't blame him.

Bonus Hummer
Snarky Boy is back and picking on the nasty biased blog Green Mountain Daily and it's chief, ODUMB! Real funny stuff from the acid-tongued Snarkapotamus.

EXTRA BONUS HUMMER - BREAKING NEWS
She's Right is back!!!! Yayyy! Go to her site at once!