WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2011

------BREAKING NEWS-------

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER FOUND AWAKE

In a stunning development, an air traffic controller at a Miami airport was found awake on the job, prompting officials to exclaim, "See, things ain't so bad."
When asked why he was awake in the control tower, the worker said, "Geez, I had so much sleep the night before, I couldn't sleep tonight!"

BURLINGTON TELECOM SUES ENTERGY

In a bizarre move, BT has decided to sue Entergy for, you guessed it, 17 million smackers. When asked by Senior Vermont Hum Burlington Politics reporter Amstel Tibbetts why they chose the litigation route, an unnamed BT official said, "Because they're assholes, and we need the money."
We'll have more on this story as it breaks.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE

The light at the Essex Junction Five Corners took so long to change this morning, I was able to get out, borrow a hose from Bushey's service station, come back and wash, wax and detail the car. Just as it dried, the light finally went green.
Gosh, I'm so productive at the five corners, I wish the light would never change!

APRIL 12, 2011

FREE STUFF AT SMALL DOG ELECTRONICS 

If you want complimentary electronic gear at Small Dog Electronics, just wait until the middle of the night, drive to the store, break in and fill your bags.
That seems to be the way to go these days for the burglar set. Every time we turn around, SDE is getting ripped off again. The latest was in March when the robbers hit the Waitsfield shop.

We've got a suggestion. Remember those jungle nets from the old films where bad guys would be walking through the forest and suddenly - Whoosh - they're entangled high above ground, helpless as babies. Wouldn't that be cool if the alarms went off at Small Dog Free Electronics, cops came and the bandits were swingin' in the nets. Just a thought.

 Guess we weren't the only ones incredulous about the multiple break-ins.
Here are thoughts/comments about SDE from the WPTZ.com website.

The following are comments from our users. This is not content created by WPTZ.com.
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• kevinlendway [Profile]
  

  Member
  Mar. 22, 2011 6:39pm EST
  

  kevinlendway

  Inappropriate
  
  He's looking for the insurance money again. Sounds like a lot of people in my congregation, looking for a handout until the new system comes
• champlainboater [Profile]
  

  Member
  Mar. 22, 2011 6:04pm EST
  

  champlainboater

  Inappropriate
  
  The police must be begging this guy to get some adequate type of security system. I propose motion detectors with pop up machine guns, sure you might have to mop up a little afterwards but it will never happen again!!
• Jurgis [Profile]
  

  Member
  Mar. 22, 2011 12:41pm EST
  

  Jurgis

  Inappropriate
  
  no i think he'd like to get robbed once more before he finally does something real. maybe twice.....
• HoiPolloi [Profile]
  

  Member
  Mar. 22, 2011 12:18pm EST
  

  HoiPolloi

  Inappropriate
  
  when is this loser, don mayer, going to wake up & smell the apple-flavored coffee!?! any dog, disregardless of size, is more intelligent than this ultra-maroon...
• rlc5551 [Profile]
  

  Member
  Mar. 22, 2011 6:04am EST
  

  rlc5551

  Inappropriate
  
  Time to get 2 great big junk yard dogs to watch the store.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6, 2011

TURNAU STUMBLES WHEN ASKED ABOUT VPR SALARIES

When VPR prez Robin Turnau was asked by the great Steve Zinn, " What percentage do salaries comprise the VPR budget?", she thought for a moment, (which is funny, 'cuz she's the top dog and you know she knows the budget inside and out) and answered, (paraphrased) "Oh, 35 to 40 percent, maybe more."
Maybe more? Huh? You don't know?
Vermont Hum tried to e-mail the show to ask about excessive management salaries but of course was not mentioned.

MONDAY, APRIL 4, 2011

CLORIS LEACHMAN BUYS BURLINGTON TELECOM

No, wait! Cloris Leachman was in the area for a one woman show. Shay Totten and Seven Days bought Burlington Telecom. No, wait! Lockheed Martin bought Burlington Telecom.

Click here to read the great gotcha story from Blurt.

Not everyone lives near water.

SWEET-TOOTHED THIEVES SWIPE SYRUP
A sugarhouse in Enosburgh had maple syrup stolen but the bandits reportedly did not take the pickles, doughnuts, or wooden sugar on snow spoons. Read the Boston Herald report here.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE - Essential Collection
Long wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning. I had time to get out of the car, walk over to the senior center, play a couple games of cribbage with the ladies before I had to back to the idling. It was a good break.