WEDNESDAY'S HUM ( 5-31-06 )

LOCAL VOCAL
Shay Totten from the Vermont Guardian on the C&E show this morning. Some of the chatter had to do with buying local and the advent of a local currency, such as Vermont Bread. We've published stories on the ' buy local' debate and here are some thoughts:
THE NEGATIVES

• Many people don't care about buying local because they feel more comfortable browsing at a larger chain store. Case in point. A gal we know believes in keeping it local - except for books. When she wants to shop for books she loves Barnes & Noble 'cuz she can slip in relatively unnoticed and browse to her heart's content without being watched or bothered. She says shopping at a small bookseller is a nervous experience; almost like the clerk is waiting for her.
• Buying local doesn't necessarily mean the money one spends is put to good use. What if Jane Doe believes in buying local and has her hair done by an independent hair cutter, who then takes Jane's money and buys crack. Who knows? At least spending money with a large corporation ensures that your money is looked at more judiciously, Enron, Tyco etc. notwithstanding.
• Scores of purchasers are only looking out for themselves and could care less about the 'big picture'. They just want the best price, period.

THE POSITIVES

• Buying local, especially if the money chain goes unbroken, as with Vermont Bread, increases community spirit and keeps the dough in the hands of like- minded souls.
• A sense of greater control. Jane Doe buys from Payless and she has no clue where that money ends up. She buys from a shoe store in Burlington, she has a pretty good idea where the money might go.
• Let's say Jane buys a toy from Learning Express. She feels she is getting a quality item and she also likes the fact that the toy was made in Vermont, or Ohio, not a piece of junk made in China sold by any one of the ubiquitious Williston box stores. That means something to her.

We have many more positives but we have to get going. (to the Five Corners)

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Got to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light last night in a movie watching mood. So we got out the portable DVD player and threw in a copy of Mclintock!, a John Wayne summer classic. We even got out of the car and bought a bag of popcorn at Simon's, on the corner there. We were able to view the whole movie, even the credits, before the light changed.

TUESDAY'S HUM (5-30-06)

MANY THANKS TO ALL HUM READERS (of which there are many).YOUR PATIENCE WAS APPRECIATED AS OUR AWARD WINNING STAFF ENJOYED A LONG WEEKEND. WE'RE BACK!

EVERYONE LOVES A PARADE
Everyone loves a parade - especially Bernie Sanders, Martha Rainville, John Tracy and Mark Shepard. Those four were seen marching in the Essex Junction Memorial Parade, which took place on Saturday, May 27. The Essex parade is one of the biggest in the state, and the HUM was curious to see which politicos would turn out. We didn't see any evidence of Tarrant or Welch or Kurt Wright, but maybe we were in the senior center buying cookies when they passed by. Word of advice to politicians, aspiring and otherwise - DO the Essex parade every year. There's a huge crowd and it's an easy crowd; not a lot of heckling or trouble of any kind. Bernie looked committed, Martha look elegant, Tracy looked presidential and The Good Shepard looked affable, as usual. It was an easy score.

DOLLARS FOR BOWLING
Another Chitt County bowling alley biting the dust, er, hardwood. Green Mountain Lanes in Essex, a trusty old friend, has a going out of biz sign in the parking lot. "Everything Must Go," says the sign, which means they're selling off a lot of cool stuff. Imagine the Green Mountain Lanes sign in your basement bar.
Are any new bowling lanes opening in Vermont or will they all gradually be closing? Hope not.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Banner day on Sunday. The Essex Junction Five Corners Light took so long to change, I was able to put the car in park, hitchhike to battery Park, run a sub-four hour marathon, have a beer at Waterfront Park and hitchhike back before the damned light turned green! Hurray for me.

MEMORIAL WEEKEND HUM

RANK SMELL
Hard-hitting snippet on Darren Allen's excellent Hall Monitor. In a yearly Congressional rank roster, Pat Leahy ranked 13th most powerful in the Senate which is pretty darn powerful. On the other side, Bernard Sanders ranked 339th out of 435 members of the House, giving fodder to his critics, allowing them to comment on the relationship vis-a-vis power and effectiveness. Catch the rank and file report now.


REUTERS DOES VERMONT
Vermont in the national spotlight Thursday afternoon with health reform signing. See, it's not just the details of the plan, it's the plan itself. With leaders in Vermont and Massachusetts coming up with ways to insure most of their citizens, the outlook is changing state by state. Governors and legislators are saying, "Golly, we don't have to wait for the bickering bozos in Washington to help us with health care - we can do it ourselves. For more , check out this national Reuters story.

PROTESTERS PROTESTING A PROTESTOR
Oh no! Not Steve Ekberg again! That's what protestors are saying about free-lance protester Ekberg. Seems the guy with the pottymouth signs is being an irritant to his fellow demonstrators. They think his signs discredit their efforts but Ekky stands under the shade of the sturdy first amendment tree. For best coverage see WCAX.com.
By the way, did you notice the two different spellings of protestor? Which one is correct and which one was correct years ago but is now archaic?

BEYOND BADINAGE
Blogosphere HUM re: May 20 post on She's Right, a clean and compelling Vermont blog, about smilin' Laura Bush, her visit to Essex and the ensuing protest and its entrails. Actually, the buzz, er, HUM is regarding a nasty comment posted by a Haik Bedrosian (Is this a person or a site name?) stating that Smilin' Laura killed Michael Douglas in a car wreck years ago. (Talk about losing credibility instantaneously). Vicious attackers such as this don't seem to realize that credibility is clutch in a debate of any kind, and one irrational, sloppy, mean-spirited remark renders the speaker intellectually immobile, and prone to having his or her future comments summarily dismissed as passionate, yet groundless hogwash.
Anyway, this angry commentator was put in his,or her, or its, place by a couple of other commentators (Tirade 25 and Bob the Optimizer). Their knockout blows are the talk of the town and you can read the whole thing here.


FIVE CORNERS NON-UPDATE
Did not attend the Essex Junction Five Corners Lessons in Patience 101 class yesterday but I was there in spirit!

MAY YOUR MEMORIAL WEEKEND BE PEACEFUL , THOUGHTFUL AND FILLED WITH GOOD FOOD AND DELICIOUS BEVERAGES.
OUT.

THURSDAY'S HUM ( 5-25-06 )

LOWE-DOWN, PART 2
Let's Build Something Together. The Lowe's slogan came in play in more ways than one yesterday as they announced go ahead plans for the South Burlington location. The retail giant received the blessings of the Conservation Law Foundation, provided they install stormwater treatment systems. It's a win-win. CLF gets the assurances it wanted, and Lowe's is licking it's corporate lips, moving into a growing market that is virtually failproof for their type of biz. Lowe's will spend about a mil for the systems, but hey, they got it. Until they open in 2008, the Plattsburgh location is still the closest.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Couldn't wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. I was too busy. So I strapped on a set of rescue lights to the top of car and sailed through unimpeded. It was great!

WEDNESDAY'S HUM ( 5-24-06 )

LOWE-DOWN
Does it seem like home improvement giant Lowe's has ramped up their advertising in this area? Well, maybe for good reason. There ia a BIG super secret announcement planned later this morning; it's a joint news conference with CLF and Lowe's reps. When Vermont Hum investigators asked people on the street where they buy their home improvement stuff, one answer was consistent. " Gee, we go to Home Depot, but wish there were other places available."
There are other places available. Good ol' Agway has a big presence in the area - they just don't have the national ad budget that HD or Lowe's has. Aubuchon ably fills needs in several communities and the north end of Burlington has a gem in Hill's Hardware. Locals know and love Hill's. And don't forget Ace Hardware. Or Sears. Or...

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Arrived at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday around noon. A thought popped in my noggin. "I'm hungry, I'm craving a grinder, Martone's is right there, and the I'll be idling for over an hour waiting for this stupid light to turn green." So I put the car in park, got the grinder and had a fabulous lunch skimming the latest copy of the Colchester Sun. You know, I think the Five Corners is quickly becoming one of my favorite destinations.!

TUESDAY'S HUM (5-23-06)

LOCAL NEWS

APPRISAL ON APPRAISAL

Free Press with breaking report on $405M Roman Catholic Diocese of Vermont real estate appraisal. Holy pocket change, Batman! The diocesan offices and old orphanage are worth over 11 mil by themselves! You know the buildings - they're the ones halfway down North Avenue with the beautiful view of the lake.
Rice High School is appraised at almost 11.5 million and the biggie is MSJ in Rutland, valued at 16M. Wow.
Find out more here.

ADDRESS THE PRESS
Speaking of the Free Press, they're on the road, holding a series of informal chat sessions with residents. If you have a beef with the paper, or just want to see a Gannett face, hop over to the Williston library tomorrow at 7 p.m. or scoot over to the city hall in SB next Wednesday at 7.
Ol' Charlie in Burlington says the Free Press is kinda like the weather. In Vermont, complaining about both is second nature. But Ol' Charlie also says that the local paper is a damn good one for a market this size; he says try to find a better daily in the U.S in a small market with limited revenue ops.
So there you go, folks. Send Ol' Charlie some names of papers with circs of 100,000, give or take, that shine through the fog of declining print numbers nationwide.
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LOCAL WEATHER

APRIL FLOWERS, MAY SHOWERS?
What's wrong with 6 inches of rain in May? Writers, movie buffs, readers, sex maniacs and cooks are having a ball this May. But we do agree with Monty on Church Street: " Can somebody stop this !@#$% rain!!!"
Although this is the wettest May on record, it's not surprising. Remember last July when it rained every weekend - or October, when the foliage trips were usually taken in the rain. Oh, well.
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FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Excruciatingly long wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. I was able to get out of my car, walk to the Brownell Library, sign out 'The Vermont Book Of Days', read it and bring it back before the light changed.
'The Vermont Book Of Days' is an interesting story. It's a family affair, a native family that loves Vermont history and is also media savvy. Their quick historical snippets (we love snippets) can be heard on WVMT, seen on VPR and viewed online or in book form.

MONDAY'S HUM ( 5-22-06 )

DEEP COVER
ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT
The award winning Vermont HUM correspondent is on special assignment and will follow up with a report tomorrow. See you at the Five Corners.

WEEKEND HUM ( 5-20-06 )

LOTS OF RAIN - VILLE
WCAX reports L. Bush visit for Martha cooked up 135 grand. They did the math for us. 225 paid 200 clams, and 18 sunk down 5k. That's 135,000, folks, and that's decent coin. Rainville doesn't get to keep all of it, but every little bit helps; especially against moneybags Welch. She's gonna need the cash, 'cuz the Vermont primary is a wild animal. Many people still ask us who can vote in the primary, so here goes according to the Sec of State.

' Everyone can vote in the primary election - but you can only vote on one ballot. You will be given three ballots - a Democrat, Republican and Progressive ballot. You mark one of the ballots and put the remaining two into a discard bin. Which ballot you choose is private.'

So, you know what that means, beloved. Right leaners huffed at GW are going in that booth voting for the Good Shepard and left leaners are going into that booth voting for the Good Shepard, 'cuz they despise Rainville's roots with the admin and they can afford to put their party's ballot in el discardo bino.
We heard somewhere, maybe VMT's C&E show, that early informal polls suggest the Rainville - Shepard race is a dead heat - but who knows. We do know it will be an interesting primary.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE or [THAT'S SIC]
I was at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light so long this morning my car depreciated 2,000 bucks. I'm not kidding. The guy from Capital in Essex came over while I was idling and said, " Hey, Boy - since you been at this here light , the value of yer car has gone down substansurly." (sic) Writers - don't you love hangin' a sic once in a while. Also, have you noticed more newspapers are putting [sic] in parentheses than brackets. Picky - picky.

FRIDAY'S HUM ( 5-19-06 )

SB VOTERS PISSED OFF!
Boy, were we off. Along with a bunch of other surprised newshounds. South Burlington voters rejected a new(er) police station by almost a 2 to 1 margin, along with the budget. HUM on Williston Road suggests that:
A. Voters felt that there was too much on the table.
B. SB townsfolk basically upset over superintendent fiasco and voting no to anything and everything.
C. Many middle class SBer's feel taxes are too high now.
There you go. Back to the drawing board.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Last night The Essex Junction Five Corners Light took so long I was able to listen to Fran Stoddard's 'DaVinci Code' show on VPR, read 'The DaVinci Code', and still the light hadn't changed. So I grabbed 'Angels and Demons' and finished that, too. Wow. Long light.

THURSDAY'S HUM ( 5-18-06 )

GOOD BLOGGY
When it is cranking out text, the Hall Monitor is, pound for pound, one of the best informative blogs in Vermont. Check out Tuesday's blog entry re: S. 124 - a bill that requires legislative approval of Vermont Yankee's 2012 license renewal. Granted, this is boring to some, but significant to others, 'specially in a state where there are still tons of fervent individuals monitoring VY's every move. You see, there is some drama to this - the bill's deadline is midnight tonight ( was that redundant ? ) and nuke negs are worried that Captain Veto will ax the bill, leaving VY less restrained. Heavy stuff.

WHO'LL STOP THE RAIN
Bittersweet grad day for St. Mike's. The recent death of a popular student, mixed with days of unceasing rain and gloom, will dampen the ceremony literally and figuratively. On a brighter note, there will be some impressive individuals receiving honorary degrees and, we're sure, offering slivers of wisdom and comfort. One such recipient is teacher Vivian Paley, winner of the MacArthur "genius" award.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Spent an frustrating hour at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday trying to learn the game SUDOKO or SODUKU or SUZUKI, whatever it's called. Even with the peace and quiet afforded me while idling at the intersection, I still could not grasp this darned SUDUKO thing! AAARRRGGGHHH! Fellow blognogs, do you play SUDOKU or is it just an overrated, overhyped corporate invention which will die out?

WEDNESDAY'S HUM ( 5-17-06 )

SPELL KAI RYSSDAL
Interesting 'Switchboard on VPR Tuesday evening. The show, live from the Elley-Long Center at Fort Ethan Allen and featuring ' Marketplace' man Kai Ryssdal, was not just business and economic stuff. Much of the hour had to do with China, a country Ryssdal knows quite a lot about. Here are some tidbits:
* Everyone in China has a cell phone, even beggars!
* Ryssdal believes that China and US will vie for oil, and it's only just begun. We have been saying that for a year now; China's need for oil is only going to increase and it will soon be a major world issue. Ryssdal asked a caller where the Chinese PM went after his visit with Bush - he went to Saudi Arabia. The Chinese consume 13% of the world's oil right now - imagine 10 years from now, especially if their growth keeps humming along at 10%.
* Ryssdal was taken to task by a caller after saying China generally has a weak business management structure; caller had experience with biz in China and suggested otherwise.

BRONX BOMBER BABBLE
Have you listened to a Yanks game on the radio lately? My God, there is sponsor for everything!
Announcer: " That last strikeout was sponsored by Foxwoods".
Announcer: " The pitching change is brought to you by Ford."
Susan: " John Sterling's bathroom break was brought to you by Scott toilet paper."
Of course, the greedy corporate bean counters figured out long ago that they could make money during the play by play by insidiously slipping in sponsorships and quick branding, such as " We're coming to you tonight from the Lowe's broadcast booth ", or " Posada holds on to the ball, so we're going to give him the Allstate Good Hands award." but these days the 'sponsorships' have been taken to a different level.

ANYTHING'S POSADA
Catcher Posada hits dramatic HR in 9th to beat Texas 14-13. It was especially gratifying 'cuz he was hammered earlier in the game by a homeward bound Mark Texeira, suffering a swollen cheek. Yanks scored 14 runs without Giambi, Shef and Matsui. Radio announcer Sterling said it was the craziest game he's seen in his 18 years.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
It was just like high school at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. A driver started a food fight and before you know it, the fries and burgers and peaches and tacos were flying through the intersection, creating a fun, messy ruckus. All the cars had their windshield wipers on and their windows rolled up. When the light turned green a couple of hours later, we all headed for the car wash. Just another crazy day at the Five Corners!

TUESDAY'S HUM (5-16-06)

GOT 5 GRAND?
WCAX with report that five thousand buckaroos will get you an audience with Laura Bush when she sweeps in to town on Friday. If you can't quite scrape up the fiver, you can do lunch with Laura and 150 others for a mere 200 dollars. Chump change.

WHY NOT RAISE OUR RATES?
CVPS next utility to raise rates; about 6 per cent. They claim there is a need to raise rates on account of blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

CASH FOR COPS
Today voters in SB will decide to fund new improved police station. We predict the new facility will be approved.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Incredibly long wait at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday. I left my Hummer idling at the intersection, hopped on a city bus, rode to Burlington, walked the bike path, rode the bus back to Essex and hopped in the H just as the light was turning green. Splendid.

MONDAY'S HUM ( 5-15-06 )

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE AGAIN
Brand new Andrew Lloyd Webber stage production of Sound of Music in the works, with reality show winner grabbing the part of Maria. Check out the silly details here.

MEDICARE DEADLINE
Deadline today for seniors to sign up for prescription drug plan from Medicare. Important day 'cuz the next chance to jump on is in January, and even then premiums will be higher.

CURT FLOOD NEWS
Vermont lucks out so far with regards to flooding. NH hit hard; hundreds evacuated, power outages and infrastructure problems.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Was able to rotate all four tires at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday and still have time to put a new tranny in. Today - the brakes!

FRIDAY'S HUM ( 5-12-06 )

WHAT? NO VETO?
Seven Days with funny political baseball cartoon on page 9a. Jimmy (De-veto) Douglas up to bat with VETO written on bat. Pitcher Welch and catcher Symington having mound conference with Gaye saying, "What matters is not what he had for breakfast, but what can you throw that he won't crush." Trouble is, expected veto didn't happen, making cartoon un-prophetic. But the piece itself is clever and makes us realize what an exiguity there is regarding good local pol cartooning.

SOX - YANKS
Boys from Beantown take 3rd game of series in 4 hour tilt, coming from behind.
* Yanks Cairo out of his league. Yanks wish for Gold Glove first sacker.
* Pesky Loretta can beat you in a hundred different ways.
* Matsui with fractured wrist; needs surgery. Tough break for a guy who plays every game.

RADIO EQUALIZER RIDES AIR AMERICA
Blistering report from Equalizer's Brian Maloney. Read it here.

UP IN A PUFF OF SMOKE
Cigarette tax increases 60 cents on July1. People stopping at the Quik Mart for gas and smokes better whip out that hundred dollar bill. Non-smokers who ride bikes are laughing all the way to the bank.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Can't get your baby to sleep. Put the papoose in the car and idle up to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light. The sweet, gentle hum of the engine will have the baby sleeping like a, well, baby. And the light takes so long to change, the cute little bugger will sleep for hours, giving Mom or Dad some snooze time, too.

THURSDAY'S HUM ( 5-11-06 )

MEDIA MULL
Progressive talk radio's darling, Air America, loses NY affliiate, according to MediaWeek.
Ratings are abysmal, suggesting even true blue libs don't want to hear how bad their country is day after day. Also, nobody seems to know or care about the hosts. Stephanie Miller? Don't know her. Mike Malloy? Who? Laura Flanders? Don't care. The only big name the network has is FrankenBerry, and it's rumored he's got better things to do. Local affiliate WVAA 1390 was heard soliciting donations the other day. Sad.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM ( 5-10-06 )

HERE'S TO OUR HEALTH
Vermont HUM intrepid investigator reports health care compromise reached. Dems and Repubs get together to create Catamount Health, insurance which will at first be administered by a private insurance company, with guaranteed default coverage by the state. All residents will have access, but obviously many details not worked out yet. Less government than hyperlibs want, but hey, that's what happens when there is give and take. Gov D must be pleased; he really didn't want to veto this one AND he gets private insurer to take the plan for a test drive.

IF ONLY SHEF HAD PLAYED...
Red Sox batter Yanks 14-3. Weeks ago we told you how Josh Beckett gets stronger as the game goes on; this game was a perfect example. The scruffy Texan gave up an early blast to Giambi, but settled down and befuddled Bronx bashers with nasty curve. Other game notes:
* Sox SS Gonzalez sharp in the field - now starting to spank the ball.
* Despite loss, Giambi still looking sharp. Who needs enhancements? He homered, had a wicked single and had smart eye at the plate.
* Boy, did The Big Unit look old or what? Yanks fans booing. Somebody get that boy some steroids! No, just kidding. See, that's kind of a sore subject these days. By the way, no 714 for Barry?
* Ex-Sox SS Renteria tearing up the ball with 24 game hitting streak.

LINK THIS!
VERMONT HUM, one of the fastest growing newsblogs in Vermont, is now linked with ibrattleboro.com, which is one helluva community website. Check it out.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
One of our readers suggested a ballpark theme at the Essex Junction Five Corners. Why not have a big screen TV at the intersection with satellite games playing around the clock. Ingenuitive businesspeople could hawk peanuts and popcorn and maybe even a beer vendor...well, maybe not that, 'cuz we'd have to drive when the light changed. Oh, well. Still sounds fun.

DEEP COVER

ALERT - ALERT - ALERT - ALERT- ALERT
On Tuesday, May 9, the award winning HUM correspondent will be on special assignment but will return on Wednesday to file a special submission.
See you at the Five Corners.

MONDAY'S HUM ( 5-8-06 )

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHERE EVER YOU ARE !
The Vermont Campaign for Health Care Security. Ring a bell? Maybe you've seen their ad in the paper lately. The tag line says: 'They're Still Waiting...For Affordable Health Care.' There is a picture of a sad looking mom and child, presumably 'cuz they don't have health insurance. In the text of the ad, it's suggested that it's Jim Douglas' fault.
It's a sleazy ad because there is no real mention of who's behind it. Go downtown, stop people on the street and ask them if they know who is behind The Vermont Campaign for Health Care Security. Guarantee they'll look at you like you have 9 heads. But if you check with the Ethan Allen Institute, they might know.

COUNT ON IT
Barre is not just a place where smokers go to Thunder Road to watch stupid looking cars go round and round, wasting gas. Barre Opera House scores big with the Count Basie Orchestra. Winners of umpteen awards and members of the Grammys Hall of Fame, this outfit is the best. On Thursday, May 11, the joint will be swinging!

SURE. GREAT IDEA, BOB!
Extreme volumes of HUM regarding Mayor Kiss and his 'sanctuary thing.' Many believe he's lost instant cred with wildly implausible vision. But don't jump to conclusions. Early thoughts suggest a plan of compassion and restraint, not one where 60,000 illegal convicts would come streaming down Church Street. Specific details are sketchy; we'll be on this when it's more clearly illustrated.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Imagine being a motorcyclist at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light. You'd think their legs would fall asleep and they'd go toppling over like a Tarrant sign at St. Mikes. By the way, motorcyclists are actually helping the environment. If all riders in this country hopped off their bikes and cllimbed into an SUV, an extra 12 million gallons of gas would be wasted per day. Yeah.

WEEK AHEAD, WEEK BEHIND ( 5-7-06 )

CESU STRIKE
HUM on the roads of Richmond point to lack of unified front by strike opponents. Loose gatherings of parents and others can be seen, but nothing major. One suggestion heard was to have a massive anti-strike rally in Richmond but nobody stepping up to initiate. Situation getting bitter; opponents decry spoiled teachers looking out for themselves when 65,000 Vermonters have zero health insurance. Strikers just want parity with other districts. See our long range prediction below in Friday's HUM.

RED SOX - YANKEES
Sox visit Yanks on Tuesday the 9th for 3 games. They are tied for first with 131 games to go. Notes:
* Coco Crisp back on the field in about two weeks.
* 3b Lowell and ex-Sox 3b Hillenbrand both in top ten hitting parade.
* Shill, Big Unit and Mussy with 5 wins. Chacon looking good; Wake much better w/ Pasta Mirabelli.

BLOG HITS
Average Vermont blog gets 50, maybe 100 hits a day. Drudge Report had over 10 million in the last 24 hours. Staggering. Anyway, new banner on Drudge right now, hopefully it won't be gone by the time you read this.
I'D RATHER GO HUNTING WITH CHENEY THAN HAVE KENNEDY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE.

GAS PRICES
Here is a fun site to check out local gas prices.www.vermontgasprices.com

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Brought a conversion van to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday and was able to lay down and get a full 8 hours of sleep while waiting. The light turned green just as I got back in the driver's seat!

FRIDAY'S HUM ( 5-5-06 )

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN
HUM on the mean streets definitely not kind to CESU teachers. Complaints flying from Joe and Jane average; they're teed off about most educators having much better health care coverage than themselves; also seething about finding child care during strike, along with myriad gripes about teacher stunts - not striking during vacation and striking close to graduation.
We know where this is going to end, folks. Down the road, Vt will finally invoke legislation prohibiting teachers from striking, like most states. It's only a matter of time.

HAND OVER THAT DRINK
Zero booze next year in the dorms at The New UVM. Man, wouldn't you love to be a little birdie and catch the enforcement battles on this one. How creative do you thinks the students will get. Vodka in Gatorade bottles, secret chamber books with wallet sized flasks...the list goes on. Anyway, give Prez F an A for effort.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Waited so long at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning I could actually see my nails growing! Remind me to bring the clippers tomorrow.

THURSDAY'S HUM ( 5-04-06 )

GRAFFBUSTERS
Increasingly, if you want the scoop, we mean the real scoop, you gotta fish the waters of Lake Blogawoga. After 30 minutes of trolling credible Vt blogs, one can reel in more info than any mainstream outfit can ever give using 200 sq. feet of newsprint or a 20 second rushed news clip. Wondering why AP superhero Chris Graff got zapped? Check out 802 online here.

GONE FISHIN'

From the halls of Fletcher Allen to the sidestreets of Brattleboro, considerable HUM re: Senator Sue ( Bali Girl ) Bartlett and her trip to the South Seas. You see, it's kind of an important time at the Statehouse right now. There is a budget being crafted and Bali Girl is chairwoman of the Appropriations Committee. It would be nice to have her there helping out. Unfortunately, she had to jet off to Bali for a conference, leaving half the state of Vermont shaking their heads and saying, "What's up with that?" What is up with that?

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
New method of doing biz in Chittenden County. Instead of working at home, people are starting to work at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light. There is a flame of activity at the intersection, with people using cell phones, laptops and calculators to get the job done. Maybe the village officers could put a copier and fax machine on the corner, right next to the WALK button.

WEDNESDAY'S HUM ( 5-3-06 )

BUSH LEAGUE
Uh-oh. A minor setback for The Good Shepard. Hum on the street says Laura Bush visit in support of Rainville puts final nail in Mark Shepard's coffin. We don't think so. Remember, anyone can vote in the primary, and Laura's visit will spur some voters to change their vote from Rainville to Shepard.

BAD CIRCULATION
Lively discussion of current events this morning on WVMT's Charlie & Ernie show. The guest after 9 was Shay Totten, the top dog at the Vermont Guardian. Vermont Guardian? Funny, last week we were talking about a paper with great circulation which nobody seems to read; here we have a paper people would read IF they could locate a copy. We checked their site for drop locations and found out Essex, Colchester and Williston have 2 or 3 drops - TOTAL! Dudes! There are lots of smart people in the suburbs that would love to read your paper. And that's where a lot of the ad cash comes from. Smarten up! To use campaign lingo, if you don't carry Chitt County, you're in a pile of poopy. Show us the newsprint.

HABACAB
OK. We predicted Montreal would beat Carolina in 5. We were wrong. We suck. Happy?

TALKIN' TRASH
Litter is the subject on VPR's Vermont Edition today. Green Up Day is this Saturday. Imagine if everyone in Vermont got out of their SUVs and picked up shit for just one hour? What an impact.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
I got to the Essex Junction Five Corners Light this morning right when it was turning green. Boy, was I mad! I had a whole day of activities planned. So much for a leisurely few hours sewing and knitting. Darn.

TUESDAY'S HUM (5-2-06)

RALLY TALLY
Different number estimates of people attending Pro-Illegal Immigrant rally yesterday. Some said 120, some said 300. Who cares. What was missing was an action plan by marchers on how to support 12 hundred million (Howard Dean) newcomers to this country. Yeah, we heard HD say twelve hundred million. How will the support system take care of the medical and other needs of all these illegals, plus another million or two per year. Protesting is part of the fabric of this country; trouble is, many protesters don't have a unique vision on how to ameliorate the situation. Chanting slogans and carrying signs is great - now give us a clear, logical sketch for the future. We're listening.

LOCAL FOLKS
With internet, satellite and corporate radio abounding, the opportunities to hear national and world musical artists are limitless. But have you ever thought: ' Hey, where can I check out new material from Vermont tunemakers?' All The Traditions, an eclectic show on VPR, is not just folk, like we've heard people say. This past Sunday, we heard super stuff from Colin McCaffrey, Diana Jones, Wood's Tea Company, Staber & Chasnoff, and a hilarious take on Haggard's ' Mama Tried ', put forth by Woodchuck's Revenge - their version entitled ' Mama Fried.' The show is on every Sunday from 2-5 in the afternoon.

JOHNNY DEMON
Damon goes back to Fenway wearing pinstripes and hears mucho boos, but tips his cap and hears a bunch of cheers. He took a classy approach, letting the situation play itself out. Three signs we noticed were:

• JOHNNY DEMON
• YOU REALLY ARE AN IDIOT
• JOHNNY WHO? I LOVE COCO

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Spent so much time at the Essex Junction Five Corners Light yesterday I was able to see the full blooming cycles of a few tulips at a nearby house. When I pulled up to the light I noticed the tulips hadn't opened up yet. After a while, they opened up to a beautiful spray of red and yellow, which was breathtaking. I was able to fully appreciate their splendor for hours until they closed up again. The light finally changed and I went on my merry way. Ahhh.

MONDAY'S HUM ( 5-01-06 )

GET OFF FROM MY CLOUD
Hmmm. Keith Richards injured falling out of a tree. Usally the Hum has things to say about most everything, but on this one, well...

MEETINGLESS
There will be no Burlington City Council meeting tonight on account of a 'thin agenda.' Kudos to the council for not having a meeting just to have a meeting.

YOU THINK TRAFFIC IS BAD NOW
Stay away from downtown and UVM around 5-5:30 tonight if you're driving. The Pro-Illegal Immigrant rally will take place with a North Street starting point, heading to Church Street and up the hill.

RACE TO THE GRAVE
Thunder Road opened yesterday and record cigarette sales were reported in the Barre area, although it was reported, still unsubstantiated, that there was a woman seen in the racetrack area without a butt dangling from her mouth. We're still working on this story.

BETTER RIVALRY
Sox - Yanks tonight at 7. The rivalry is even better this year with Damon following the cash trail and ending up with New York. Lots of Hum about JD but have you seen Giambi's numbers? 21st Century Steroid Man has crashed 9 homers and driven in 27 runs! But the big stat is his on-base percentage, which is staggering. Giambaroni has drawn 26 walks.

FIVE CORNERS UPDATE
Need a petition signed? The Essex Junction Five Corners Light is the place to go. There is a passive crowd there just waiting for something to do - or sign. With the light taking about 45 minutes to change, just think how many signatures one could get walking from car to car. In fact, maybe aspiring politicians could stand in the middle of the intersection and give speeches, and cars could honk if they didn't like what they were hearing!